Poetry / Ascend

Smash and grab, take you will

Slash and stab, you have your fill

Tragedy adorns this place

Lost are you the Human race

Maya shows all only lies

You smile and look through preying eyes

To satisfy and serve the flesh

Insanity you are enmeshed

Weighing down, unknown to you

Energy wanes, what will you do

Shift your thoughts, expose the lie

Ascend we shall than to the sky

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Reviews

June 10, 2009

Psychonautslog

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
36	85.7% (14 votes)	100.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
50	M	Germany	August 09

Psychonautslog reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

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August 11, 2008

dylanmatthews

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
110	62.5% (56 votes)	23.1%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
27	M	Grand Rapids, MN	March 15

dylanmatthews reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This worked well. I am not one for sing-songy pieces but this tended to stay away from the nursery rhyme scheme. The line, Insanity you are enmeshed, didn’t work for me. If you were enmeshed in Insanity it might work but something about the working didn’t feel right. Ascend we shall than to the sky works for the ending but I thought it would have been neat if you could find a way to work it into the poem as the beginning line also.