Lyrics / On the Bridge (Analysis)

You need to let us know what genre of music this is blues/ rock/ whatever. since we don’t have a univerally plugged in radio it’s hard to figure out. what tempo is it… can’t tell. it would help if you would give reviewer instructions.

the rhymes in S1 are weak= bridge+ridge. i would delete ridge and put in another word. ( i really hate suggesting this)or change it completely~
when you see me on the bridge/don’t snuff me out/ just give me your best advice/ no conflict- don’t think twice…
also it’s hard to tell what the song is about- death- nt living life to the fullest. edit, think, it will come> cheers.

it is a really good piece.  everyone needs a friend in the darkness. every one needs someone at all times. the idea you have this poem is wonderful, but it needs a little softening around the edges.  it doesnt flow very well.  for example:
because we both don’t
have time
for more pauses

why did you break that up into 3 lines. would have done well if you kept it in two:
becuase we dont have time
for more pauses.

i know you might have been trying to imitate pauses by breaking up those lines, but it doesnt quite do it enough justice

thank you for letting me review the poem, it is good and will be wonderful after a little work

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