Thanks. This was just one of those stories I wrote because I was bored & wanted to get some personal issues out of my mind…yeah Audrey’s me. Romance is definately not what I normally write.
Romance / But Love Changes Everything
For two years I hadn’t talked to him; hadn’t looked at him; hadn’t acknowledged his existence. At parties, open houses, holiday gatherings and just plain old hanging out with the group of close friends we shared, there we were, happy and with the crowd, but not each other. We dodged and ducked, and when no one was around that day in the library, he gave me a look like he wanted to me to die while I whispered to my teammates that he was THE ex-boyfriend and defended our relationship when they said he was ugly. I laughed and realized that the look he was giving me must be a special look that only I could get, reminding me of the special look he use to give when we were together – that I’m sure he gives his current girlfriend. Through everything we went through together when we were actually together, I didn’t expect to be so comfortable with pretending he was another unknown soul that occupied this little blue marble we call Earth.
The day that it all changed was a warm Independence Day after my first year of college. We were at Omar’s house with the rest of the friends we shared – never imagined I wouldn’t be able to shake my high school friends, especially when it seems that they’re the friends people cut first; but then again JROTC managed to bond us closer than the normal high school friendships did. Barbeque, mosquitoes, alcohol, laughter, and the rest of the usual things that surround us when we were around our friends were there, and distance separated us. It was nothing unusual or saddening, it was normal.
“I still can’t believe you two don’t talk,” Jerry, my “brother” who also doubled as one of the only two true friends I had at college, laughed. He said it every time we were in this situation, so I dismissed the thought with a flick of my wrist and replied, “It’s okay. I’m used to it now. In fact, it’s probably better this way.” Deep down I knew it honestly was better this way, but it still hurt a little to turn my back on someone I cared about.
The day went on, the sky grew darker, and everyone was gathered around a table either playing a card game or pretending to be interested in the game. It was either Spades or Tunk; I couldn’t tell the difference. The only card games I ever played were Uno and Solitaire, so I just listened to the conversation around me.
“Twin, you dare me to ask him how she deep throats with no neck?” Evelyn wasn’t my real twin, in fact, none of my friends were real family, but that didn’t stop me from calling them my family members.
“Please don’t,” I rarely turned down the opportunity to insult my ex’s new girlfriend, my former best friend from high school. I decided to end our friendship after she told me she would never date him and then ended up on a date with him a week later – they’ve been together for a year now. Insulting her in front of him without her being around seemed like a waste of time and took major points off of my maturity level, something I had been trying so hard to keep since he and I broke up.
“You’re no fun,” she grumbled. Usually she did as she pleased, taking no regard to what others said, but even she knew that it would be a wasted effort to ask this time.
“If you say so,” I didn’t have a comeback for her because in a way I wanted to dare her and watch his face wrinkle up with anger as he huffed and puffed like he was the Big Bad Wolf.
Maturity blows, I thought.
He was sitting across from me and down a few people, as he usually is at things like this. Every now and then I would glance over his way to sneak a quick look at him. Just because we weren’t on speaking terms didn’t mean that I couldn’t look at him and remember the few good memories that floated to the front of my mind when he was around. Nope. There was nothing wrong with that.
“I’ll be back,” I told Evelyn, getting up from my seat.
“Where are you going?”
“Bathroom.”
I didn’t really have to go, but if I daydreamed any longer while staring at my ex someone would notice and I would have to turn up my nose and say I blacked out and would never really be thinking about him. It was a lie I told quite often and I wasn’t sure if anyone believed me anymore.
I hurried inside and made my way through the kitchen, towards the bathroom. Once there, I locked the door behind me and stared at myself in the mirror.
You’re a fool for staring; just like you’re a fool for wanting him. Haven’t you learned by now he doesn’t want you? Two years and you’re still in love. Just let go!
I went through my usual spiel of disappointment and abuse. I knew I needed to move on, even more than I already had, but there’s no shaking a first love no matter how hard a person tries.
As I bowed my head in shame there was a knock on the door.
“Audrey, I know you’re in there. Open up. We need to talk,” it was my ex. I’d recognize his voice anywhere. It had bass and a rasp to it, along with all those good, manly things in a voice that puts women’s sexual hormones into overdrive. Mine, however, weren’t. Instead I really wished I was small enough to fit through the bathroom window. Since I wasn’t, I opened the door. There was no use in hiding from him.
“What?” I tried sounding annoyed, but I’m sure fear was the main sound.
“Let me come in,” he walked pass me, making the words come out of his mouth mean nothing.
He should have said ‘I’m coming in.’
I closed the door and turned around. There I was face to face with my ex-boyfriend, THE ex-boyfriend. I was a junior in high school the last time I was in this position, so I was praying to God he didn’t see the sweat I could feel flooding my body.
“We need to talk.”
“You’ve said that already. Are you going to talk or should I start?”
I didn’t have a clue as to what he wanted to talk about. Two years of pretending he didn’t exist didn’t do much for me being on top of knowing what was going on through his mind, so he would have to be the one to start the conversation.
He looked me in the eyes, sighed and began, “I’ve tried hating you, especially since I’ve seen you more times than I care to this summer, and the shitty part is that the summer hasn’t even really begun.”
He wants to hate me? Wow.
I had always imagined that he did hate me already, but to hear the words caught me by surprise.
“I can’t hate you, though,” he continued. “Every time I look at you I’m reminded of the good times we had together and I can’t bring myself to hate you.”
“You know. You’re really wasting my time,” I crossed my arms. Now I see why not talking to him in over two years was a good idea.
“Sorry.”
He’s rarely ever apologized to me, so that took me by surprise too. I could feel the ice around my heart starting to melt.
Damn it!
“Anyway, I wanted you to know that,” he paused. I could feel him say the words before he said them, but that didn’t make me want to hear them more. “I love you,” he finished.
Damn it!
“Really? You have a funny way of showing it,” I snapped. I didn’t want to believe him, because if I believed him then I’d fall in love all over again.
“Sorry…”
“Don’t say you’re sorry. Sorry doesn’t cut it anymore. Sorry doesn’t take back all the tears I cried. Sorry doesn’t make me feel better,” I yelled. I hoped no one outside heard, but at the time I really didn’t care if they did.
“I know, but…”
And then he did it. He did what I’ve been waiting two years for him to do. He took me in his arms – my absolute favorite place in the world – and he kissed me. It was the sloppy, hands everywhere, ‘I don’t care what people think’ type of kiss we were known for, and I loved every second of it.
Our lips parted and we let go of each other. I’m sure I was looking at him like I was doped up on morphine, but again…I didn’t care. It had felt like ages since I had been in this position, so I wasn’t going to ruin it by acting like a tough guy.
“I love you, Audrey. And I am truly sorry for hurting you. If I can’t take it all back I would.”
“I love you too, but don’t say that you would take it all back. Shit happens, right?”
“Yeah, but I never wanted any of this to happen between us. Is there anything I can do to gain your trust back?”
I hated to admit it, but he never lost my trust. In fact I trusted him the most I ever had in that moment right then.
“No. It’s already there.”
A slight smile of relief crossed his face and he pulled me in again. Nothing could have made this moment any more perfect.
BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!
“Damn alarm clock!”
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SnwAng reviewed Version 1 -
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I loved this piece! I related to it very well, that feeling that I still love my ex no matter how stupid it is. You did a good job portraying that feeling that you want to kill yourself for loving him, but not being able to give it up. The dreaming part was actually surprising. Usually those things are rather predictable but this one wan’t nearly as tedious. I think because you waited for them to kiss instead of the ususal wake up right before.
Over All good job and congrats on a good piece
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BellaJ77 reviewed Version 1 -
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I love romance stories so reading this was enjoyable for me. The flow of the story was great, the connection between Audrey and THE ex-boyfriend was definitely deep. I must say I like Aubrey’s character, she seems a bit stubborn and sassy but obviously love sick. The type of ending(waking up from a dream) is a bit cliche but you brought a bit of originality to it(BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!“Damn alarm clock!”). I’ve read a lot of romance books, and this sounds a lot like the good ones. I think Your on the right track.
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