Flash Fiction / Thirty Word Story - "The House Fire" (Analysis)

hahaha, not quite what i had in mind, but it gave me a chuckle.
somehow i don’t associate sipping special occasion whiskey with chugging 40s, but to each his own. :)

when i finally get around to flushing out this piece, i will make sure to let you know.

thanks so much,
lu.

if you want my sincere review, i guess i would say this is an ironically funny scene. i see white trash Caroline gazing indifferently upon the fiery front porch and chugging a 40 oz like a legitimate badass. i guess i’d be interested in a longer version of this piece :]

i suppose you should tell that to all the other flash fiction writers of this site, then, because i believe you’ll find that a good majority of their pieces do not fit this criteria. and if this does not fit under the criteria of flash fiction, then what do you recommend? it certainly isn’t poetry, it’s too short for a short story, so where else would one fit it on this site than flash fiction?

and i’m even failing to really see how this piece doesn’t meet most of your specific criteria for flash fiction.

i realize this may come across bitchy or something, but i suppose i’m just annoyed that there was no real review of the piece here. so, i don’t mean to attack your opinion on the definition of flash fiction, but i guess that’s all i had to go on.

lu.

three years of using this site has taught me that flash fiction is usually microfiction under 58 words that leads you on with a seemingly one-dimensional plot, then makes a sharp turn, usually for the worse, making it a dark genre of writing. of course you have poetic license, but if you’re gonna call it flash fiction it’s respectable to try to meet most of the criteria.  

if such a rigid definition of flash fiction is applied, then yes. “flash” fiction, since there is no break down on this site between sudden fictions, micro fictions, all of that, is anything that is not short fiction, at least on this site.

were there any specific comments or critiques other than disagreeable definitions?

thanks,
lu.

thank you much. i cannot wait until i actually have time to re-work this piece!

when i do, i’d appreciate it if you could tell me if you think i addressed the issues you had with it.

best,
lu.

thanks! i will make a note to address the pace of the piece.

and don’t sell yourself short; your review addressed an issue that no one has really touched on yet. so i appreciated it very much.

thanks again & happy holidays,
lu.

thanks! i will make a note to address the pace of the piece.

and don’t sell yourself short; your review addressed an issue that no one has really touched on yet. so i appreciated it very much.

thanks again & happy holidays,
lu.

thank you, thank you. i’ll let you know about newer versions so we can address issues better :]

thanks!
lu.

awesome – yeh!  Let me know when you edit and repost, I would be most interested in reading.

all the best
-J

oh, and i LOVE the idea of molotov cocktails and such. perhaps she is caught in her house as some sort of riot ensues outside, just some old woman who has nothing to do with whatever it’s about. it’s not where i had intended to take the story at all, but i just may. for some reason it reminds me of lux the poet by martin millar. you should check it out if you haven’t before.

best,
lu.

i should (finally) have some time to work on this soon, so i will be addressing these issues as i expand it. most other reviewers are having the same issues with it, so i will make sure to address all those in particular, thanks so much!

i’ll let you know when i expand it, if you’re interested.

thanks again!
lu.

you’re welcome.

thank you!

brief character development is what i will be working on next in expanding this piece. also, i’d like to flush out the scene a bit more, have the readers understand fully what is going on in the scene, i.e. windows with bars, front porch aflame, etc.

thank you for the kind words!

lu.

one is a semi-colon and one is a colon. :] but i do see what you’re saying, i think i’m just a fan of punctuation. :]

and you pointed out the two areas that i will definitely be concentrating on when expanding this: flushing out the scene and developing caroline’s character within it. thanks so much for your suggestions and specifics!

lu.

most certainly. thanks!
lu.

thank you.
lu.

i’m so glad you got it!

i intend to expand on the actual scene and on caroline as a character, but i think i might leave out the befores and afters; i like the guessing game it leaves for the reader.

and you were very helpful, thank you!

lu.