Poetry / Non-Regrettable actionts (Analysis)

This is a very sad, lonely poem.  It’s the song of the “Introvert”.  It’s sung well enough.

“I believe in a man’s pale eyes looking deep into my soul,
Catching each breath i take in so deeply
Knowing the love i have for him is so rocky yet held in so tightly.”—i like this  line and i think this is the heart of this poem.  it’s the first offering of something outside the narrator and it’s a good explanation of why he/she feels the way they do.  

i’d only suggest slipping in another line or two like this to flesh out the cause of the narrators physical and/or emotional isolation.  Insecurity is a crippler, for sure.  offer more of the cause.

well done.  thanks for sharing.  

My main critisism would have to be the readability. I think the piece would read better if you just put spacing every time you say I believe. It gets a little repetitious.I enjoyed the message of the piece and I believe in it as well :)

I really liked the first five lines. AFter that it became a personal poem that has little relevance to anyone except the poet and perhaps her mate. It seemed that it was an expression of your deep personal feelings but those aren’t universal truths. The first five lines though said some things that were universal in an interesting way; for example that a teardrop (genuine expression of feeling) is not encouraged by society and people shy away from others’ pain.