Non-fiction / The Blood & Tears of Domestic Violence: A Survivor's Revelation (Analysis)
Author Donna Savage’s debut book, The Blood & Tears of Domestic Violence: A Survivor’s Revelation was just published at a time when change is needed to stop the ongoing cases of domestic violence, many resulting in murder-suicide. This book is a powerful resource for victims of this relentless crime, offering new hope before they are added to the long list of homicides committed much too often at the hands of their abusers. This is a worldwide epidemic, which needs new insight to save many lives!
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Brilliant! Being a writer of stories containing such material myself, this really made me want to read the book. I especially liked your willingness to voice such a opinion and do it so tactfully.
- add/view comments (1)
It is an all too real scenario. I did feel that it could have been longer and more detailed. It seemed like you rushed through, as if you were talking to s therapist about it. It has potential, though.
I wanted to hand you a frying pan. They make nice tools for whacking the guy over the head the next time he does the smacking around. :)
wow. intense piece, tough material.
the title alone had my attention. well done.
Thoughts:
It’s very well written and moves along nicely. good clarity. You keep a good, linear approach. and while i understand that this is chapter six, it feels like you’re trying to pack too much information into a short space. several scenes that could have been drawn out much more slowly are instead processed at lightning speed and we move on to the next. consider lingering in places, show me a scene or two in more detail.
the scene early on in which the narrator is slapped and blood pours from her nose is a good example of slowing down. don’t be afraid to do this more often. stopping to take a good, hard look around can make everything more powerful.
“Sean’s jealousy grew, as I developed into a young woman”—unnecessary commas all over the place. this is just one example. lots and lots you don’t need.
“and if it was a guy that gave me a compliment, forget it!”—this too felt a bit awkward to me. ”forget it!” in particular felt out of place.
overall, it’s a very strong start. it’s strong material, and you handle it well. i’d only suggest that you try to slow down and pick your spots. flesh out some more scenes instead of racing through them to get to to the next one. build up some more tension.
thank you for sharing this. best of luck.
Let’s see Something’s that don’t work-
This does not qualify for the six word memoir, although it is a piece of autobiographical work. Sometimes the writing is is average. As in ‘It was very depressing.” You are already telling us this by your subject. Sometimes you must say something in a plain way- but as for this sentence it jumped out at me like it was unnecessary.
I do like the way you started out with you living on the floor and moving away from the comfort of your family into the monster’s lair. You do develop your story from this point onward. It was chilling to say the least when the cops sided with Sean and not you.
You have the material here for a thrilling autobiography. Make sure you edit ruthlessly. You will have readers who will benefit from your tale- although like you in your youth- they may not listen to what you say. Good Luck with this. Keep writing.
This is a very interesting story, I have never come across a novel that covers this common issue, so it is definitely unique and will drqa the right attention. There are some areas that need to be tweaked however, readers love to be pulled into the story as if it were them. use smells and sounds of the season such as when the two were walking down the street when the guys yelled compliments to her, set the scene before this happens. Was it a beautiful warm day with birds singing and the smell of honeysuckle drifting through the air. were they in new york with the smell of the neighborhood pizza parlor tempting all to a slice. in the apartment even though bare, was she so pleased to have her own that she sat in the window watching as the cars went by etc. you get my drift. Also talk to the women you know who have been in this situatiaon and ask them what those guys really would have said to Sean, “Man…we’re complimenting your lady… you should be glad!” is not believable. Men rude enough to holler ought “compliments” to a young lady walking down the street with her man, don’t have the decency to make logic, they probably would have insulted his manhood and insecurities,or even challenged him to fight.
Overall i would love to read more of this story and think you have topseller in the making
Showing 1 - 5 of 5
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
Opportunities| Version 2 |
| Version 1 |