Poetry / Taken by the Tide

Thats very touching, and wamred my heart right up. I’m looking forward to reading for of your items.

Good Job,
Chris

Good work. I really like the poem. Particularly your choice of presenting time as something “soothing.” It breaks from the usual convention. The work is short and concise. And the rhyming works. Often people sacrifice quality in order to rhyme, but this is not the case here.
Minor thing: “Beginning with and ending with” I would just go “Beginning and ending with.” The second “with” sounds like dead weight.

I like the final two lines a lot: “where memories are like the sand and taken by the tide”. This is an excellent image.

What is it you intend when you break the rhyme scheme you’ve established? In some ways it makes the poem seem a bit disjointed, as though you’ve added the line “torn between old longings” into the poem as an afterthought.

Very good.  This would be a good start on lyrics as well.  Thank you for alowing me to read it.

This scribe was just OK for me. It left something to be desired. Although, I did like the way it ended. Very nice close.

“Where memories are like the sand

And are taken by the tide.”

Beatutiful choice of images and words.
I especially like the last two lines. Very nice job.

I quite liked this. I can really relate to the feeling this poem reveals of pushing through an attachment to someone. Wanting nothing more than to move on yet being “torn between old longings.” I feel that line 6 takes away from the flow somewhat, however it is a powerful line. The last two lines are beautiful, keep up the good work.

this is a very good piece.  most people use the beach/ocean metaphor but don’t succeed… you did. i really like the ending: “Where memories are like the sand

And are taken by the tide.” bravo.

There are a lot of really good images in here. Especially the last three lines in relating memories to sand and time taking them, as in reference to Alzheimer’s, or to the passing of time taking the individual away from you? Some what confusing. All I can really say, is that you should clarify your message, and maybe some of the meaning in this poem, the first half is vague, whereas the second half is only slightly clearer.

I’d really like to see this developed a little better. Thanks for the read.

I really enjoyed this, it seems like a rather obvious metaphor on reflection but you pull it off very well.
The word ‘longing’ seems out of place somehow, this could just be me but perhaps that could be improved.
Also “And are taken by the tide.” could perhaps be “are taken by the tide.”
Look forward to reading more of your work