Poetry / Sex Noises

Define sex noises? I would have liked to hear your interpretation. Do sex noises creep or “groan” or strain  through the walls. If they were lower than the hushed hellos then would a person be able to hear them at all. I know what you saying. I once lived next to a couple that did it at least three times a day. I turned up Led Zepplin to shut them out. “Ramble on” is a good song to play while people are copulating. I like the premise,but i think you could go farther by describing the noises. Tell the reader some of the things you did to drown out the groans of passion. This would add something concrete to the poem. I hope i helped, Sandi

This is ok as far as it goes. Artists draw what they see. I suggest that you write up in detail what is distracting you. It’s all energy. It’s all creative fuel. cheers, lin

I like this piece, this idea and I definately feel for you.  The only problem I have with it is wht line referencing the hushed hellos. It seemed to contradict the sex noises that are larger than the quiet cars.  I hope I am not misinterperating what you mean.

Dear Stranger,

  The best part of this poem is how hilarious it is to anyone who has lived in an apartment with thin walls. Loud music is another noise that somehow manages to permeate through the plaster.
  I personally like the way you begin the poem, with line one continuing as if you were already talking about the subject. I also really like those last three lines. The reason for this is that these last three lines tell a story by themself. You’ve succeeded in creating two images here, related and understanding. The last image leads to the first, in some ways.
  Is there a way to get rid of the -ing in creeping to make it more immediate? for example, change with to as and then creeping to creep. See if you like it. Probally just a personal call.
  Hope any of this helps you, and that the speakers neighbors go dry soon.

  Stay cool,
  D.R.

Nice. The length is good, but I would like to hear more description- of the sex noises, your reaction, the writing maybe. A little, but not too much. Good work.

It’s a good beginning to something but seems more like an exclamation of frustration. What are sex noises? Better if you showed us than just said it. Pounding, sighing, screaming, moaning? Something like that. Do sounds creep through the wall? Not those kinds of noises I bet, they charge through the wall at least. Quiet cars don’t make noises. And what does it have to do with strangers who meet in the dark? Think you have something to work with here but it needs to be developed.

right up my alley. i love this quick style. the comparisons to “quiet cars” and “hushed hellos” make the noises seem soft, but even the quietest sex noises seem like they are right in your ears. solid piece.