Horror / Things That Crawl in the Night

This was actually posted a while back and has nothing to do with October :) Alas, the pace appears to be something I can’t do anything about as I got the exact opposite response from other reviews and a different one all-together from still others. However, if you want to read some pieces that took considerably longer for me to write…and edit…and edit some more…you’re more than welcome and I look forward to your thoughts on those. As for smells, tastes, colors--just picture a standard school hallway--concrete walls and either tile or cheaply-carpeted floors. :)

Glad you liked it… I agree, it has some horror elements. As is, it wasn’t classified as poetry b/c I don’t feel that it qualifies as poetry—that would be most of my other writing :). I object however to the implication of “dark fantasy” as this was based on a real nightmare, which in turn was based on real events, and is in no way something I fantasize about. As for shaking you a bit, good. :) That’s what I was aiming for in this.

well this is poetry. im my deffinition its alot of emotion with very little writting. but thats me. Dark fantasy becuase i was taken away into a different realm…thats what i meant

Indeed. This is one such case where art imitates reality. Sexual violence is one of those disgusting things that isn’t real enough to those that don’t live it. In that sense, I intend to give it life so that the fear instilled in victims may someday die.
Thank you

Thank you. It happens sometimes. As it is, the following excerpt, which precedes the lines in question should clarify

There!
“Please. Who do I go to for help?”
“Me.”
I tell him what happened.
A name. The arms. The hands.

I would hope that when the end truly comes, neither of us will be alone. As for your review, thank you very much. Not too many people think it quite qualifies as horror, but I don’t think that--in all the archives of Hollywood--one could find a better theme for a horror story than that this happens to real people.

Thank you. minor revision—part of one line was on the wrong line. :)

Thank you for the thought, but unfortunately it did. Up through ‘Daylight’ was one dream. The last part though was a flashback triggered by a different dream. Thank you again. My goal, as it is in most of my writing, was to write it in such a way that the reader “feels” what’s happening. I hope you’ll also read my other writing sometime and let me know what you think.

Evidently, its clear enough. You nailed it. Thank you. As for needing to read it more than once, its patterned after a nightmare and the very nature of nightmares is that you usually have to look at it at least once more before you can fully understand it. On clarification:

“An unwelcome visitor. Leave me ALONE!
A cold smile. Arms encircling. Hands roving.
Break free
Run…Run…Run…

His smile, his eyes, right in front of me
But I’m awake now
Hands, arms, wrapped around me once more
Its happening again, yet I’m alone.
Can’t shake it off. Can’t
Sick.
Darkness closing in.”

Wow, I remember this one, it made me feel sad all day.  So I guess you did what you set out to accomplish.  :)  Very powerful, thank you for allowing me to review this.