Horror / Things That Crawl in the Night

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you. Insanity was definitely a central point. It runs together, in text and in reality. What’s in quotes is what’s actually said. Everything else is emotion, action. For instance, words like “real” and “sick” in this context aren’t actually spoken. They’re representations of that moment when you realize it’s real or when bile rises and you’re about to hurl. Too, “Leave me ALONE!” wasn’t a spoken phrase, so much as the mounting sense of terror and desperation experienced when you see a particular person in a nightmare. I’ve no intention of rewriting this, but I am entertaining the idea of a book. Innocent details like what?

I mean like just insignificant little details that build things up over the course of the story.

It’s reflecting of a dream. Dreams are strung together by incomplete thoughts and events. You can run…run…run…all the while not knowing why. Emotions run rampant. As for what’s going on, the key is in these lines:

“An unwelcome visitor. Leave me ALONE!
A cold smile. Arms encircling. Hands roving.

A name. The arms. The hands.

Still no one to turn to

His smile, his eyes, right in front of me
But I’m awake now
Hands, arms, wrapped around me once more
Its happening again, yet I’m alone.
Can’t shake it off. Can’t”

On the one hand, I’m sorry you don’t recognize indications of stalking and sexual violence when you see them. On the other hand, I’m glad because you appear not to have had the experience and I look forward to the day when everyone can say the same. As for more details, if and when I decide to make this a short story, I’ll be sure to consider that.

The third to last line, after Can’t, shouldn’t you use a period?—technically, but end of the line punctuation isn’t so important in poems.

There’s always that rational guy that says, “Hold on, tell me the facts.  Don’t get so emotional.”—that’s him; only, in this case, he didn’t do anything.

Sometimes you use a period, sometimes you don’t. —quite true. I should either use them all over, or nowhere at all… Thanks for the review.

Thanks. Unfortunately, I entered it as horror only b/c it didn’t seem close enough for poetry. However, if I decide to delve further into horror, I’ll definitely keep your advice in mine.

You’re close. It wasn’t inspired by rape, but it is about sexual violence--stalking, sexual harassment, sexual assault--which can involve rape, and the nightmares/flashbacks that tend to follow. Unfortunately, people as a whole are full of excuses. It’s something I hope to change, at least as it concerns this. Thank you for reading it three times :D. Sometimes, literature needs to be re-read while contemplating meanings. Incidentally, I classified it as horror simply because it was horror-based and because I didn’t think it quite qualified as poetry. Thanks again.