Haiku/Senryu / Beach Holiday

Blonde gritty sand, it
scatches as I stare skyward.
I’m lamenting home.

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Reviews

September 05, 2008

Smintboyuk

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
412	80.2% (111 votes)	25.8%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
35	M	Alexandria, VA	November 27

Smintboyuk reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I wouldn’t have thought of it being about failed vacations without having read your notes. ’Blonde’ is an interesting choice which I’d keep. I’m not a fan of splitting lines in the way you did with ‘it’ at the end of L1. Sometimes it works, but not just for the purposes of fitting into the syllable count.