thank you for reading and reviewing my sentiments Exactly!!
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / URBIS Matters of the heart
URBIS is your biz,
It’s what you do. But there are charlatans
that don’t really want truthful reviews.
They make jokes out of pen wars
to hide and distract,
sincere pen warriors whom they often attack.
Shadowing the write title that needs some luck to get paid,
for talents and skills that multitudes display.
Practice, practice, practice!
Read, read, read!
Please don’t be disgruntled by less favored critiques.
There are millions of readers from different cultural walks,
when some don’t see your vision don’t whine and don’t baulk.
Recognize this is why there will infinitely be,
a need for your soul’s work for someone to read.
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Elron reviewed Version 1 -
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It is a bit cheesy, but amusing in a poignant “Cry Out For the Arts,” sort of way. Not bad.
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yang reviewed Version 1 -
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hm a poem. um, i can’t say i disagree, i see people go “well you can’t see the good part of what i’ve written” when i could’ve sworn critquing was about pointing out the bad more so than what’s good. i wish steve and his sister wouldn’t grant refunds for actual criticism that doesn’t have whipped cream on top. i’d like to see a “i’m sorry, but if you suck, that’s just the truth that you can’t hide regardless of reviews you refund” or something discussing that. i’m not sure if i’m mistaken but this is a review to me.
1-point out the bad
2-point out the really good parts, the just good parts don’t need mention.
3-offer suggestions if any.
oknapp reviewed Version 1 -
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I would take out the first line. URBIS is your biz,
It’s what you do.
In this line you are adressing urbis and the rest is directed to the writer isn’t it?
Shadowing the write title that needs some luck to get paid. Luck? writing is not luck it is skill. Either you are skilled or not skilled. Luck has very little to do with it. Preseverence might be a better word.
Recognize this is why there will infinitely be,
a need for your soul’s work for someone to read
This line appears a bit awkward and looks crowded. The “will be” future tense hurts the flow.
What you are saying is true. People have trouble with criticism. I wouldn’t be so hard on these writers, though. Criticism is like a bitter apple or a sour tart. You have to eat little bits of it a time. One has to learn to accept criticism. No one wants to hear it but it is necessary in order for people to succeed. You have given the writers something to think about here. The subject needs to be addressed. Thanks Sandi
jessica0293 reviewed Version 1 -
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YES!
I completely agree with you. Plus, I love your writing style. Sort of just pulls you in and takes you for the ride, it’s original for me.
I especially like the ‘There are millions of readers from different cultural walks’ line. It puts a nice, little image in my head.
And it’s truthful as well, I know for a fact I can be put off easily by some reviews, but it’s just the way it goes.
Nice job. =]
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Version 1
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