Thank you for the review. The slang is Military accurate, and I have just purchased a program that will cut out the repetition. I have actually completed this piece, and I am trying to market it now.
Action Adventure / Loss of Innocence, Chapter Four, Version Two
CHAPTER 4: THE CREAM RISES
SATURDAY, AUGUST 10 1991
FORT BENNING, GEORGIA
1530 HRS.
The recruits had now been moved up to their living quarters, inside the extensions. Colby Greer and Ryan Geerts were now members of 1st Platoon, E Company, 2nd Battalion, 58th Infantry Regiment [Training]. 1st Platoon’s bay was located on the right side of the second floor. 2nd Platoon was located opposite them on the same floor, with 3rd and 4th on the third floor. Upon entering the 1st Platoon bay there were two doors located to the left at the head of the room. One was the Platoon Sergeant’s office, and the other was a storage room. Opposite the entry was another exterior door that led to a balcony shared with D Company.
To the right was the bunk area. There were four rows of bunks. , One on each side and two in the middle. Wall lockers lined the two-outside walls, and separated the two-rows of bunks in the center. At the far end of the room was a safe room. This room was used to lock up all of the recruits’ personal belongings. They would only have access to their military issue.
Passed the safe room was the latrine. The latrine was accessible through entry ways on each side of the room. The front wall held the sinks, and the back held the toilet stalls. To the right was the entrance to the shower room, which contained a bench, towel hooks, and six small open shower stalls. This would be Colby and Ryan’s home for the next four and a half months.
Each man was standing at the position of attention at the foot of the bunk they had been assigned. The bunks on the right wall were 1st Squad, right center was 2nd Squad, left center was 3rd Squad, and left wall was 4th Squad. Colby and Ryan had the third and fourth bunks in 3rd Squad. They stood there with their eyes to the front, as the Drill Sergeants paced up and down the bay looking them over.
“My name is Drill Sergeant Dore.” one of them said in a loud but calm voice. “I will be your Platoon Sergeant for the next four and a half months.”
Drill Sergeant Dore stood five foot seven inches, and was a very slim one hundred and fifty pounds. He had a clean shaven head, large bulging dark eyes, and looked mean as hell.
“This is Drill Sergeant Malloy.” He said, referring to the other Drill in the room. “Together we will be your parents for your entire stay here. You will eat when we say eat, sleep when we say sleep, and shit when we say shit.”
Drill Sergeant Malloy didn’t say anything; he just paced up and down the bay looking each recruit over carefully. He stood five-foot six-inches, and was a stocky one hundred-and sixty-eight-pounds. His hair was a blond diamond shaped patch on top of his head. This was known as a high and tight. His eyes were blue, and he didn’t look very mean at all. In fact he appeared as if he would be a fun guy to hang around with. Malloy had jump wings, Ranger tab, and a Combat Infantry Badge. His jump wings even had an indicator that he had performed a combat jump. It was definitely clear that this man knew his stuff.
The next thirty minutes was more of the same. Dore did all of the talking, welcoming them to the army, and explaining what they should expect in the weeks to come. Malloy continued to make his rounds looking everyone over. Suddenly, out of the blue, Malloy spoke.
“How many of you here have jump school in your contract?” Malloy spoke in a drawn out southern accent. Several guys in the room raised their hands. Colby however did not, and he glanced to see that Ryan didn’t either. “Well good for you.” Malloy said sarcastically. “Now, how many of you have Ranger?” No one raised their hands. Out of the blue Malloy was in Colby’s face, looking him up and down with a smile. He then moved to Ryan, doing the same. “So none of you pussies has Ranger?” He said as he walked away. “Fair enough, probably wouldn’t make it anyway.”
Colby didn’t know what Malloy was doing, but he had a feeling that he knew Colby had Airborne and Ranger. He also recognized Malloy as the Drill Sergeant who had redirected Ryan to 1st Platoon. Something was a little odd. Did Ryan have the same contract? Colby didn’t know. They had never discussed it.
The next hour and a half was spent with Dore and Malloy showing the Platoon how to set up their wall lockers and make their bunks. After that they were taken to the DFAC for chow. Chow time was much different here than in Reception Battalion. While in line, the recruits had to stand with their backs against the wall reading their Smart Books. Upon entering the DFAC, they were to state the last four digits of their social security number and whether they were regular Army or National Guard to the lady at the desk.
The DFAC had the same options as the one in reception did; only the recruits couldn’t have most of them. They were allowed what ever was served in the main line, a slice of bread, and juice or milk. They had limited time to eat also. They all had to be done when the last man in line for their Platoon was finished with his meal, and that man was watched closely by Dore.
After chow they were taken to the showers as a Platoon, and then given time to write letters home with their new address. Colby addressed his letter to his father.
Dear dad,
Well, I’m down range now, and you were right. I won’t have time to think about home here. I’ll be to busy thinking about how much this place sucks. Way different than reception that’s for sure. Anyway I just wanted to touch base and let you know that we were here and I’ll call as soon as I can. Tell everyone that I love and miss them. Oh yeah, the address on the envelope is my address, word for word. Anyway love you dad. Talk to you soon.
Colby
After the letters, a fire guard roster was set up. In the old days of the army the men were aloud to smoke in training. Fire guard was to insure that no one burned the barracks down. Over time smoking was cut out of training, and the guard was kept to insure that nothing stupid happened. The shifts were one hour long, and the last man was responsible for turning on the lights and waking the Platoon.
Colby lay in his bunk as the lights in the bay went out for the night. He thought about the drastic change his life had just experienced. He thought about his new friend in the bunk next to him, and the possibility that they shared the same contract. He thought about how Drill Sergeant Malloy had looked at him. Did he know more about Colby and Ryan’s future than they did? Time would tell, but one thing was for sure. Colby wasn’t thinking about home. His thoughts were consumed with his new life.
MONDAY, AUGUST 12 1991
FIREBASE RED CLOUD, SAUDI ARABIA
1345 HRS.
Sergeant Rodney Crowler could see the buildings that made up Riyadh in the distance as the Blackhawk helicopter he was riding in came in for it’s landing at Firebase Red Cloud. The fire base had been used to organize and run Special Operations missions during Desert Storm. Now it was being used to run investigations on attacks against troops since the war ended. Rodney had never been to Red Cloud before, and was not sure why he was being brought here now. Though he suspected it had something to do with the bombing.
Captain Kevin Daniels watched the Blackhawk land as he was walking to the Operations Center. He had been preparing his gear to return to the Ranger Regiment later that afternoon. After the bombing at Hafar Al Batin, the Agency had decided not to use the Army in its investigations anymore. For some reason his presence had been requested at the Ops Center. As he watched the passenger of the Blackhawk exit the aircraft, Kevin recognized Rodney Crowler as he left the flight line. He quickly made his way to where Rodney stood.
“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” Kevin said with a grin as he approached.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Rodney asked as he shook Kevin’s hand.
“Was stationed here until about an hour ago, what are you doing here?”
“Not sure, my CO said someone wanted to talk to me, and for me to get on the bird. I get here and they say to report to the Ops Center.” Rodney replied.
“Funny, I’m headed there myself.” Kevin said. “Come on, you can walk me over.”
As Kevin and Rodney entered the ops center a Staff Sergeant pointed them both to the briefing room. Upon entering the room, the two-men found a short stocky Special Forces Master Sergeant.
“Good afternoon gentlemen, I’m Master Sergeant Lars. Please have a seat.” The short stocky man said. Kevin and Rodney both took seats at the table.
“I’ll get right to the point guys; you’ve both been selected to join elite new Special Ops Group designated to combat terrorists.” Lars slid a folder in front of both men. “The unit will be stationed at Schofield Barracks Hawaii, Captain Daniels you’ll be Team Leader, and Ser’nt Crowler you’ll be Sniper Team Leader I believe.”
“But I’m not a Sniper.” Rodney interjected.
“Don’t worry; you’ll both receive the proper training to meet the job requirements.” He paused to allow Kevin and Rodney time to look over the paper work. “I’m sorry I can’t give you any more details on the assignment, only that you were both hand selected by a great man and soldier. The best there is. He’ll explain everything in detail when you get to Hawaii.”
“When exactly do we report?” Kevin asked
“You both fly out for your duty stations tomorrow. Upon arrival, you will immediately begin out processing. You report to Schofield on September ninth. Ser’nt Crowler there’s a form in there that will assist you in shipping that unique BMW that you own.” Rodney just gave Lars a strange look.
“What about our current assignments?” Kevin asked.
“They have been informed that the Army is transferring you, nothing more, and you are to give no details.” Lions informed them. Kevin and Rodney both looked at one another and shrugged their shoulders.
“I guess we better get moving then.” Kevin stated as he rose from his chair.
Lions held out his hand to both men.
“Welcome aboard gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to have you.” The three-men shook hands, as if to close a business deal. “The chopper that brought Ser’nt Crowler in will take you both to Dhahran. Both of your units have been notified by higher. Ser’nt you will assist Cap’m Daniels in exiting Battalion and then Cap’m Daniels you will assist Crowler. Infantry Divisions tend to have a hard time letting go of good people, so please help him through the web of shit.”
“No problem, I think we can handle it. Right Ser’nt?” Kevin said
“No problems at all Cap’m.” Rodney replied. Both men looked at each other and smiled.
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 14 1991
FARMINGTON, ARKANSAS
2150 HRS.
Cooper Greer was in his grandfather’s barn, working on his 1987 Jeep Wrangler. He was busy servicing the transmission and transfer case when his cousin Julie Greer entered the barn. She walked to where Cooper was cleaning his transmission pan and took a seat on a stool. Cooper acted as if she wasn’t even there.
“You know you can’t keep avoiding everyone Cooper.” Julie told her cousin.
“Not avoiding anyone.” Cooper replied. “Just been busy.”
“For two weeks?” She watched as Cooper replaced the gasket on his transmission pan. “You haven’t associated with anyone since he left.”
“Look, what I do and who I do or don’t talk to is none of your business.” He snapped, yanking the pan up and heading towards the jeep.
“You know, you two-are just alike. You’re both stubborn ass holes.” She protested.
Cooper just crawled back under his jeep without saying a word. “I was in here that night you know.” She informed him. Cooper dropped the ratchet he was using to tighten the pan on with.
“Yeah the same time he was.” Julie got up and walked to the jeep. “I tried to get him to talk to you two, but he’s just as stubborn as you. All the men in this family are.” Cooper rolled out from under the jeep. His eyes were red and slightly moistened. He quickly jumped to his feet, where he was inches from Julie’s face.
“Nothing happened between us ok!” Cooper turned and walked to the front of the jeep. “I came down here to get stoned, and to think about things. I just wanted to be alone. The bitch followed me down here.” Cooper picked up a beer off of the fender and threw it against the stacked hay bails. “She kissed me, and I pushed her away!” He yelled. “I would never do anything like that to Colby, never.” Cooper began to show signs of anger. “I should have told him that night, but I didn’t want tom hurt him. Not when he was about to leave. Now the stupid little bitch is running around fucking everybody in town, making my brother look like a fool.”
Julie went to Cooper and put her arms around him. Cooper just backed away.
“Listen, it’s ok. You don‘t have to hold on to this. He doesn’t hate you. He told me that. He’s not even mad at you, but you got to tell him the truth Cooper. He’s your brother.” She attempted once more to hold her cousin, but again he backed away.
“Listen Sarah, I think its best if I just leave things well enough alone until he gets back.” Cooper replied as he stepped back to wipe the oily fluid from his hands.
“Cooper, you have to explain your side of this.” She grabbed a paper towel from the work bench and handed it to Cooper. “His calls will always be after five during the week, and anytime on Sunday. That’s their free day. Just be here when he calls, and talk to him.”
“Look Julie I know you mean well, but he didn‘t even ask me. He just automatically assumed that I was doing Sarah.” Cooper informed her.
“You and Sarah are both going through the same thing right now. Someone you both love has left, leaving you feeling abandoned.” Julie told him. Cooper shook his head, and gave his cousin a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Thanks Julie.” He told her sincerely. “Thanks for everything, but I think I need to be alone now.”
“Hey you guys are like my brothers, I’m there for you guys no matter what.” With that said, Julie retreated from the barn.
Cooper watched his cousin exit and then went back to the work bench. He reached into his tool box and pulled out a small plastic bag. He poured a small amount of the dirty looking white powdery substance onto a piece of plastic. He then leaned down and inhaled the powder through his nose. After wiping the excess off of the tip of his nose, Cooper opened a beer and drank the entire contents of the can. He crushed the can and through it against the jeep, letting out a yell. He just stood there staring off into nothing, his eyes red and beginning to tear.
FRIDAY, AUGUST 16 1991
FORT BENNING, GEORGIA
2100 HRS.
The first week of Basic Training was long and hard on the recruits. They were in what was known as Phase One or the Red Phase. In this phase of their training the Drill Sergeants were around all the time. They were there to wake the men up by throwing metal trash cans down the bay, which scared the hell out of Colby and Ryan the first couple of times. They were also there to turn the lights off at 2100 hours every night.
The training consisted of many hours of drill and ceremony, and a lot of time in the class room learning about things like sexual harassment, and the seven army core values. Loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity, and personal courage were the traits that defined a good soldier. During chow time, the men were quizzed on the Smart Books, and the Drill Sergeants seemed to always find reasons to drop them for push ups. Colby and Ryan tried hard to just fade into the back ground, but Drill Sergeant Malloy always seemed to single them out. Colby had found out that Ryan did have the same contract as he did, and he knew that Malloy knew. It was the only way to explain his focus on them.
At the end of the first week, Colby and Ryan had changed both mentally and physically. Their friendship had grown tremendously also. They helped each other with everything from studying to laundry. Where you saw one, the other wasn’t far behind. Little did they know, but Malloy and Drill Sergeant Dore had taken notice of their friendship.
Through everything though, the two friends seemed to be unknowingly distinguishing themselves from the rest of the platoon. Their drill and ceremony was becoming sharp and crisp. Physically they were becoming like rocks, and their class room results were perfect scores. They even rarely missed one of the chow line questions. They almost knew the smart book from cover to cover. Also, without even realizing, they were starting to help others who were falling behind. Yes, without them even noticing, the two friends were already becoming soldiers.
The last two days had been spent learning how to move under fire. Things like the three to five second rush, the low crawl, and the high crawl. They had even run an obstacle coarse to test on the movements. Now, at a time when they would normally be in bed, they were standing behind a large earth embankment waiting on instruction from Dore and Malloy.
The men sat against the mound, in full combat gear, when Dore and Malloy approached. The two Drills’ wore their gear also, except without weapons.
.
“Ok listen up! You are about to enter a live fire obstacle coarse. There will be explosions going off all around you, and bullets flying over head. Move tactically, and keep your heads down. Soldiers have died on this range.” Dore informed the men. He then made a call on a small hand held radio, and then looked back to the men. “Ok guys let’s go. Give me four-ranks by Squad.”
The men lined up by Squad facing the embankment. Colby and Ryan were nervous with anticipation for what was over that small hill.
“First four, GO!” Dore yelled, and with that the first four men in line went over the burm. Immediately explosions could be heard. The sky lit up with bright flashes of light.
“Next four, GO!” again four more went over.
When Colby went over the mound what he saw was complete madness. There were explosions going off all over the place. Dirt was flying and there was a heavy layer of white smoke lingering over the entire area. Colby ran to the first log cover, and got down on the ground behind it. He looked around the obstacle and could barely make out four-individual lanes of movement. He took a deep breath and launched. Colby bound himself from obstacle to obstacle until he reached a mud pit with a low layer of barbed wire across it. He immediately got on the ground and began crawling under it. Shortly after he entered the mud, Colby heard the distinctive sound of a machine gun firing. He looked up to see tracer rounds flying low over him.
From here on out it became even more hectic. Colby had to remain on the ground and every where he went there was another soldier froze up, too petrified to move. There was usually a Drill Sergeant off to the side yelling at them. Colby would just crawl up next to them and push them to keep moving forward. The explosions were going off and the tracer fire grew heavier. Colby’s adrenaline was flowing. He just kept pushing on, picking up scared comrades along the way. When they came to the end of the course, there was a tall wall with a rope hanging from it that they had to get over. Colby, along with Ryan when he caught up, stayed and made sure that everyone in their Squad was able to get over that wall before scaling it themselves.
After the wall the men filed through a walkway that led to a road where trucks were waiting to load them up. They climbed into the back of the trucks and collapsed. No one said a word. They were all to tired, and still a little in shock at what they had just been through. Colby and Ryan both drank long and hard from their canteens. The two-soldiers high fifed one another as the truck began to pull away. They sat there in the back of the truck smiling the entire ride back. This Army thing wasn’t that bad and they were kicking Basic Training’s ass.
Upon returning to the Company, the recruits were told to give the weapons a quick wipe down, turn them in to the arms room, and get up stairs to square away their things for lights out. They took their weapons to the bleachers just behind the laundry room to wipe them down. Colby had just finished wiping off his rifle, and was in the process of applying a light coat of lubricant to the bolt carrier, when Specialist Craig Rippley approached him.
Craig was a specialist due to college time that he had, and was scheduled for Officer Candidate School after Basic. He was a small town guy with a medium stocky frame, and blond hair. He was a bashful kid with rosy red cheeks that, when teased, would glow brightly. The Drill Sergeants had made him the student Platoon Leader to prepare him for OCS. Colby thought Craig was a super nice guy, but that he wouldn’t last as a Combat Leader.
“Listen, Greer. I want to thank you for what you did tonight, helping everyone out and all. That was pretty cool.” Craig told Colby, hanging his head a little bit.
Colby slid his bolt carrier back into his rifle and closed it up.
“First of all Craig, its Colby. And you don’t have to thank me. We’re a team here.” Colby locked the retaining pin back into his rifle and placed it on the bleacher. “The better we all work together here, the easier it’s gonna be for all of us.”
“Well, I feel that after tonight you should be the Platoon Leader.” Craig said as he started to turn away.
Colby quickly jumped to his feet and cut Craig off.
“Look. I don’t wanna be Platoon Leader. I’ll help behind the scenes all you need, but you need to stay Platoon Leader.” Colby looked around for a second. “You haven’t done anything wrong Craig. From here on out if you’re having a problem with something, just come ask me. If I don’t have an answer, we’ll figure it out together. Ok.”
Craig looked up at Colby with a smile.
“Thanks Colby. Thanks a lot man.” He said sincerely.
The two shook hands.
“The best leaders don’t know everything.” Colby told him. “But they do know how to ask, and learn. Don’t let your pride stop you from being a great leader Craig.”
“I won’t bro. I promise.” Craig said with a wide smile as he turned and headed for the arms room.
Ryan walked up behind Colby, carrying his rifle.
“What was that all about?” He asked. Colby put his hand on his friends shoulder.
“He just needed a little pick me up, but he’s gonna be ok.” Colby picked his rifle up off of the bleacher. “Come on, let’s go get a shower.” The two-walked off towards the arms room. As they entered the Company area, they noticed Malloy standing beside the laundry room on the right.
“Great job tonight guys, keep up the good work.” Malloy grinned real big, turned and walked away. Colby and Ryan both continued to watch him walk away as they themselves walked in the direction of the arms room.
MONDAY, AUGUST 19 1991
FORT BENNING, GEORGIA
1040 HRS.
E Company was finally receiving instructions on the M16A2 assault rifle. They had been carrying the thing around for a few days now, but had not yet been taught anything other than how to wipe it down and carry it. They had just spent all morning in the class room learning every thing there was to know about the rifle, from tear down to assembly. Upon learning of Colby’s enlistment, his uncle Gavin had decided it was his duty to prepare his nephew for the Army. One of the many things he taught Colby was the M16 rifle. Now Gavin didn’t own an M16, but he did have an AR15, which was the same thing only not fully automatic. He also had access to the local National Guard Armory. Now the Guards had the M16A1, not the M16A2, how ever the only major difference was that the A1 could fire in full automatic, and the A2 could only go as high as three round burst. This was where, when you pulled the trigger, three bullets left the weapon.
Colby had spent hours on the rifle with his uncle. He learned how to clean it, and how to fire it. He even learned how to repair it, and do timed assembly and disassembly. So Colby had a leg up. He had walked in on day one with a pretty steady grasp on the M16 assault rifle.
After each block of instruction, there was a two-page quiz handed out for the men to complete. Colby and Ryan seemed to be the first to complete their exams each time. After completing the exam on tear down and assembly, Colby raised his hand to signal the Drill Sergeants that he was finished. Malloy came by, picked up his test, and excused him to break.
Once leaving the auditorium, Colby made a fast break for the latrine. The Drill Sergeants had instructed them to drink water from their canteens if they felt sleepy. Colby had already completed one canteen of water, and desperately needed to dispose of it.
As he exited the latrine, in total relief, Colby found Drill Sergeant Malloy waiting for him at the coffee machine. A little rattled, Colby walked over to the machine where Malloy was standing. Malloy handed Colby a cup of coffee.
“You look like a cream and sugar guy, like myself.” Malloy said with a comical grin.
Colby immediately assumed the position of parade rest. This was where a soldier stood perfectly still with his head and eyes to the front. He would place his hands, opened flat and facing out, one on top of the other in the small of his back. His feet would be shoulder width apart.
“Yes Drill Sergeant.” Colby snapped sharply.
“Relax Greer, have some joe. I just wanted to talk to you one on one kid.” Malloy said with a slight laugh as he extended the cup closer to Colby. Colby relaxed his body and accepted the coffee. He took a sip of the hot liquid, surprised that Malloy had managed to get the cream and sugar mixture just right.
“What are we going into now, our second week? Malloy asked as he walked slowly, leading Colby out into the open air.
“Yes Drill Sergeant.” Colby replied as he walked slowly beside his instructor.
“You seem to have yourself pretty squared away son.” Malloy commented. “Your Uncle Gavin did a good job prepping you, but you also got a pretty good head on your shoulders.”
Colby looked sharply towards Malloy with a confused look on his face.
“Yeah I know Gavin. Damn good man and it’s my job to know if my soldiers have important family members.” Malloy said, continuing to look straight ahead.
“My Mom and Grandma don’t think to highly of him.” Colby stated, looking back to the front.
“Most women don’t think to highly of a man as dedicated to soldiering as your uncle Gavin is. That man’s gung ho to the bone.” Malloy said with a laugh. He stopped to look at Colby. “Listen, your uncle can teach you things like the m sixteen and drill and ceremony, but qualities like you displayed on the live fire course the other night can’t be taught son.” Malloy began to walk once more. “That’s what being a soldier is all about. Taking care of your fellow troops. It’s all about them Greer. A truly great soldier puts his brothers before himself, and you demonstrated that the other night.” Malloy stopped again to look Colby in the eye “Why didn’t you speak up when I asked about jump and Ranger that first day?” He asked. Colby looked Malloy in the eyes and didn’t even give a thought to his answer.
“Didn’t wanna draw attention to myself Drill Sergeant.” He stated quite simply.
“Same reason you stopped Ripley from recommending you for Platoon Leader huh?”
“Rippley’s gonna be a real Platoon Leader some day. He needs the experience, and what me and the others do for him here will help make him a good one.” Colby explained. “I don’t see my job here as being anyone’s leader Drill Sergeant. My job is to learn and assist the others as best that I can so we can all make it out of here.” He told his teacher. Malloy stood and stared at Colby with a wide grin.
“Damn you are Gavin’s kin, only without all the arrogance.” Malloy laughed as the two walked back toward the class room.
When Colby and Malloy had made it back to the coffee machine, Malloy continued on to the class room as Colby stopped. Ryan, who had been waiting by the DFAC, walked to where Colby was standing.
“What was that all about?” He asked as he approached.
“He just wanted to tell me that I was the best soldier that he’d ever seen.” Colby replied with a straight face.
“No shit?” Ryan responded.
“Yeah, even better than Jon Rambo.” Colby said with a smirk.
“Fuck you midget.” Ryan said sharply with a smile. Colby laughed loudly.
“He just told me to keep up the good work that’s all. Now come on, let’s get back to class.” The two-friends walked back to the class room for their last block of instruction before lunch.
“Jon Rambo? You suck dude.” Ryan said laughing.
1620 HRS.
After another fine Army lunch, E Company had returned to the class room for the hands on portion of the days training. First they had been instructed on how to achieve an accurate sight picture with the M16A2 rifle. The front sight post consisted of a small peg, that could be raised or lowered, and two uprights on each side of the peg. The rear sight had two settings. A fine diameter hole, for use in night and chemical mask firing, and a larger diameter hole for normal fire. To achieve the proper sight picture, a soldier would place the peg center mass of the target, and center of the rear sight ring with the outside uprights just inside the ring. The soldier’s cheek would be placed lightly against the side of the butt stock. It was crucial that he place his cheek in the same spot every time he fired.
After the block on sight picture, the soldiers received hands on instruction on how to break down the rifle for cleaning, and reassembly. Colby wanted to show Ryan how to break down the trigger assembly, but remembered his uncle telling him to keep his head down and to do what they told him. They hadn’t showed the men how to break down the trigger assembly, so Colby left it alone.
At the end of the instruction the Drill’s collected up all of the rifles. After the rifles had been gathered, Drill Sergeant Weaver of 2nd Platoon placed four-of them on a table in the center of the auditoriums stage.
“We’re gonna have ourselves a little friendly competition.” He stated with a grin.
“First Platoon give me one man.” Weaver yelled.
Private Bouche, 1st Squad’s leader jumped to his feet. Everyone in the Platoon cheered him on as he climbed onto the stage.
“Ok, Second give me one.”
Private Choe rose to his feet, after some hesitation, and went to the stage.
“Third.” Weaver yelled.
Private Stone went to the stage with a smile on his face.
“Now Fourth Platoon.”
A private by the name of Cole stood to his feet.
“Oh hell no!” Drill Sergeant Clark of 4th Platoon yelled. “Harris get your ass up there boy.”
Private first Class Harris stood and went to the stage.
All of the men placed themselves behind one-of the rifles on the table.
“Gentlemen, when I say begin, you will be timed on the disassembly of the m sixteen a two assault rifle.” Weaver explained. “Ready, begin.”
All of the men began working feverishly to tear down the weapons. They each started at the same point on the rifle; they removed the retainer pins to separate the upper and lower receivers. Next they removed the bolt carriers, separated the bolts from the carriers. Then they moved to the hand guards. This is where things slowed down a bit. Each man struggled with the plastic guards as the crowd cheered them on.
Finally Harris finished in three-minutes and ten-seconds. 4th Platoon cheered loudly. Next to finish was stone in three-minutes and thirty-five-seconds. Seven-seconds after that was Choe, Bouche finished in four-minutes and fifteen-seconds.
“That’s what I’m talking bout!” Clark yelled loudly.
“Hang on a minute!” Malloy interjected. “Clark got to stack the deck, now it’s my turn. Bouche sit down, Greer get your ass up there.”
Bouche hung his head and took a seat. Colby rose to his feet, and walked to the stage. He looked at Ryan and shrugged his shoulders.
“OK First and Fourth rematch, everyone else sit down.” Weaver announced. The representatives from 2nd and 3rd Platoons took their seats.
“This time you will be assembling the rifle.” Weaver announced.
“Fifty-bucks on Greer.” Malloy announced.
“You’re on.” Clark bellowed. Colby prepared himself mentally. He had done this a hundred-times with Uncle Gavin.
“Ready, Begin.” Weaver barked.
Both men began grabbing parts. Harris started with the hand guards, while Colby reassembled his bolt and carrier. Then Colby replaced the buffer and spring in the lower receiver. Next he locked the front retainer pin reconnecting the upper and lower receiver. He then placed the bolt carrier and charging handle back into the upper receiver and closed it down, locking the rear retainer pin.
By this time Harris had begun to work on his bolt and carrier. Last Colby replaced the hand guards on his rifle, finishing in two-minutes and fifteen-seconds. 1st Platoon erupted in cheering.
“OH HELL NO!” Clark yelled loudly. He jumped onto the stage with one leap of his long frame.
“Double or nothing.” He demanded. “Sit down shit head.” He ordered Harris.
“You’re on” Malloy replied, laughing. Colby just stood there silent, without an expression on his face. Malloy could tell by looking at Colby, that it was money in the bank.
“Gentlemen” Weaver started.
“BEGIN!” Clark cut him off.
Clark immediately started popping the retainer pins. Colby removed the hand guards. Next Clark removed the bolt carrier and charging handle, as Colby popped the pins on his rifle. Clark then separated the bolt from the carrier. Colby already had his carrier in hand and was beginning to do the same. They both removed the buffer and spring. Then Clark moved to the hand guards as Colby took it one-step further and removed the heat shields from his hand guards. It took Colby two-minutes and three-seconds to break down the weapon. Clark, who still had one hand guard to go, was furious.
“DAMN IT!” He yelled in anger, throwing his upper receiver to the table.
Colby just stood there with the same blank expression on his face. Malloy laughed loudly. Clark pulled out his wallet, took a hundred dollar bill from it, and placed it in Colby’s hand.
“Here you little bastard.” He growled. 1st Platoon erupted in cheers. 4th Platoon was silent. They knew it was going to be a long night for them.
1710 HRS.
FAYETTEVILLE, ARKANSAS
Julie Greer pulled into the parking lot of the One-Stop mart to fill her truck up with some gas. As she was pumping the fuel into her vehicle, Cooper Greer pulled up in front of the store. The stereo in his Jeep was blaring loudly, and Cooper was driving a little erratic. When he climbed from the Jeep, Julie realized that Cooper was not alone. She had not seen the guy with him around before. Julie replaced the pump and went to the store to pay. As she neared the store, Cooper and his friend exited.
“Hey Coop, what’s up?” She asked her cousin. Cooper looked up with a surprised look on his face.
“Oh hey Julie, what’s going on?” Cooper replied. Julie looked at the friend. “Oh, this is Boyd. He’s new here. Boyd, this is my cousin Julie.” Cooper said. Boyd looked at Julie with a charming grin, holding out his hand.
“Nice to meet you lovely lady.” Boyd said. Julie was not amused with the charming act. She politely held out her hand.
“Pleasure.” She replied. She looked to cooper. “You not going to Grammy’s for dinner?” She asked him.
“Actually, me and Boyd have plans.” Cooper replied. “Anyway, we gotta get going. Talk to you later sis.” Cooper and Boyd quickly climbed into the Jeep and left. Julie watched as the pulled from the lot. She felt as if there was something wrong with her cousin. He just wasn’t acting right, and she definitely did not like this Boyd character. There was something in that boy’s eyes that said trouble.
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jtthehunter reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
You write a good story with a nice pace. The characters are very believable and the reader can easily relate to them. Some minor issues, nothing major to take care of.
‘the men were aloud to smoke in training.’ This should be ‘allowed’ not ‘aloud’. One gives permission, the other is a form of speaking. Example, he said the words aloud whereas the children were allowed to go outside.
Crowler you’ll be Sniper Team Leader, (should this read as SOTIC instead of sniper? Marines have Scout/Sniper School, the Army has SOTIC) you’ll both receive the proper training to meet the job requirements (Or rephrase this to read, ‘you’ll both be sent to SOTIC after you get to the unit.)Then add a description of SOTIC
four men in line went over the burm. This should be ‘berm’
The two-soldiers high fifed one another. Try a rewording of this along the lines of ‘the soldiers were high fiving each other.’
This is really minor and is just fine tuning as the story is truly an excellent read.
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Picklez reviewed Version 1 -
Read 96% of the Item
One of the features i think urbis should definately improve upon is the formatiing and text options, its v important to be able to present these things properly to the reader as words still have a visual nature. I think you did well however.
“Passed the safe room was the latrine.” Past the safe room? Seems an unusual mistake to make as you tend to have a brilliant grasp of language in this piece. Your descriptions are good hoewever the sentences are short and this makes it a tad choppy. Blend them perhaps?
“Suddenly, out of the blue, Malloy spoke.” Not an issue for me personally but i have been told that repetition can be detrimental to a large degree. Just a thought really it depends on opinion.
“Ser’nt you will assist Cap’m” hmm another matter of opinion this slang annoyed me however if it is accurate use ot for sure.
Apart from those the piece was good and flowed reasonably well. Keep at it and you may have something here!
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