Poetry / On Not Taking The Advice of Miss Golightly

I shouldn't care for wild things
but you bit me, and said
I catch things I don't take with me.

I am a fish
hooked on your teeth and waiting
to be measured and thrown back.

You will leave, lightly, and be happy;
I'll watch you bare your teeth to smile.

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September 05, 2008

tia_logic

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
705	86.4% (337 votes)	63.7%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

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26	F	United States	December 02

tia_logic reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This is nice.

I’d take out the comma after S3 “leave”—I get the verbal lilt you’re going for, but I think the alliteration does that enough.

I’d re-think the repetition of teeth. Incisor perhaps? I’d change S2 as opposed to S3.

Best of!

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September 06, 2008

by assemble

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	0.0% (0 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
19	F	Australia	October 06

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Thank you, this is very helpful!

I had a similar thought about the repetition of teeth, but couldn’t quite think of an appropriate substitute. Cheers.

September 06, 2008

by assemble

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	0.0% (0 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
19	F	Australia	October 06

personal info reviewer stats

Thank you, this is very helpful!

I had a similar thought about the repetition of teeth, but couldn’t quite think of an appropriate substitute. Cheers.

September 06, 2008

by assemble

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	0.0% (0 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
19	F	Australia	October 06

personal info reviewer stats

Thank you, this is very helpful!

I had a similar thought about the repetition of teeth, but couldn’t quite think of an appropriate substitute. Cheers.

September 06, 2008

by assemble

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
0	0.0% (0 votes)	100.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
19	F	Australia	October 06

personal info reviewer stats

wow. That wasn’t meant to post that many times, clearly.

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assemble

Age:	19
Loc:	Australia
Gen:	F
Last Login:	October 06

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Latest Activity: 2 months ago

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