Poetry / Forbidden Love (Analysis)

This poem obviously hits on an idea that is a real crowd pleaser and intriguing to many people. I’m not that fond of the ending though. I wish it could end with something more concrete. I like that the poem is addressed to the reader or at least to a “you.” It seems to be reflective on the feelings of whoever is behind the poem which creates an interesting line of thought. However, the poem abounds in generalities. Almost never is a concrete image brought before the poem. The continued use of “forbidden love” is in itself a rather vague idea. I think concrete images would be the best thing for the poem. I think it would really add strength and clarity to the ideas. Still, good work!

This is a very well written poem. I feel that many can relate to this, well mostly everybody that has ever loved anyone can relate to it. It is very well composed, and there seems to be no error in the way it was written, well any that I can see at least. Kudos to you.

R. House

Wow, the last line is impactful! :) Use of repetition in the first stanza is good and effective. However one thing I don’t like is that not all stanzas have the same number of lines. Maybe you should standardise that. And I wish it would rhyme a little more.

1st stanza – these aren’t sentences, so why use periods?
“2nd stanza – everything after the 1st line seems like it’s just to rhyme.  the actual meaning doesn’t seem too relevant.
“that doesn’t ease” – ‘ease’ needs an object.  Doesn’t ease what?
Who are “they” later in the poem?
“It’s the sigh of relief…” forbidden love is?  it’s a sigh of relief?  what’s the it that took everything?  also forbidden love?  this seems very vague.
The last stanza makes more sense than anything before it.
I think this needs some work.  instead of writing what seems pretty, or rhymes, really focus on the meaning of what you’re saying.  Make sure you’re saying exactly what you mean.  You don’t have to rhyme.