Lyrics / "IM A SON OF THE DEVIL"

Great line: And thanks to them I dress to kill. More than the world will ever know. I wish I knew what type of music you were invisioning for the lyric. It would help- metal?

“In drugs that mugs”

You lost me at this line.  It doesn’t make sense to me.  
Where does the chorus end?  It doesn’t influence my opinion of the song much though.  I like the song, and the chorus could be as long or short as the singer likes, or variant, it wouldn’t take from it.

“I’m in every mother’s nightmare.
Cause I suck the best out of life.”

I like this line, but I wonder if it might be more accurate if it was And instead of “Cause”  I don’t know, it just seem like it could be more conclusive, but I could be completely wrong.

“I live large…will ever know” This is my favorite stanza or verse here.  True and catching.  Love it.

The last verse, “the young” could be the dieing.  Every time I read it, I want to read it like that.  Have no idea why, but I thought I’d share.  Maybe you could use it else where.

I would love to hear this one in action.  It intrigues me and I’m curious to hear what it sounds like.  I know that writing lyrics is not as much like writing poetry as some would believe and I think this piece has what it takes to be a powerful song.  It’s simple and potent.  Good luck with it.

THE WRITER EXPRESSES THE OUTMOST PERSONAL FEELINGS. WHICH IS IMPORTANT IN WRITING LYRICS. THAT IS DEEP IN FEELINGG A RICH IN POETIC DEVICES AND IMAGERY

Pretty good, but what is meant by “in drugs that mugs”?  Not sure that makes sense or maybe I’m just a dumb-ass.  That’s all I can come up with.  :)

Hello there, hope all is well with thee,

I like this piece, it has great energy, great flow and rhythm. I could easily hear this banging away by someone like say Korn or maybe Tool. I like the accuracy of the words, the truth it speaks. Well Done!! me…

I quite like this, not sure of genre, could be country or rap. Gets your point accross to the young, re drugs and the fact he doesnt care, not sure I like the use of live large, I feel this effects the flow, but know why its there. It just says what it means really, could be deeper, and I think drugs effect the rich as much as the poor and the sick.

“I’m a son of the devil.

I don’t give a damn.”—the format might be kind of funky. is the end of the chorus after “devil?”  i’m singing it as i read and i’m not sure where the chorus ends.  

“In drugs that mugs”—mug.   it reads weird with “mugs.”

the “bema” and “bling” line is hysterical.

Thoughts?

Funny funny piece.  I enjoyed this a lot.  Is this a country song?  

Nice work. Put this monkey to music and I’ll bring over some beer and chips and we’ll dance around.

thanks.

It definately tells a strong story and seems to come from an honest place.  Structurally,  why all the [.]at the end of every line?

It has nice rhythm and flow but the forced rhyme in some places sounds a tad corney:  Uncle Sam? is this a reference to government/law?

With the bema and the bling to show.
And thanks to them I dress to kill. – thanks to the bema and the bling or the poor and the sick

More than the world will ever know – know what?  more what? this is too vague.

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September 24, 2008

by cooljim102055

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
930	72.0% (375 votes)	19.2%

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54	M	Taunton, MA	November 20

hi,

i don’t mean to insulting but i don’t think this girl knows enough about basic meaning in the english language to be reviewing anybody’s material…read her review and you tell me….jim…(and she thinks i’m vague…:)

September 24, 2008

by Johnsienoel

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
554	92.6% (337 votes)	26.7%

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40	F	United States	October 21

Submit it for a refund upon one hour of opening your review and if URBIS feels you have a valid complaint they will refund the credits you used to open this review.

I wonder why you choose to post it you are going to be so touchy about what people say of your work…

If you have questions or seek further clarification the comments is the place for such dialogue.

Let me break it down for you:
1.  Why did you place a period behind each line why it is obvious they are not complete sentences.
2.  Your rhyme sounds forced – used words without logical meaning just because they sounded good together.
3.  Confusing phrasing in places because your word choice is too vague.  

September 24, 2008

by Marvin

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
570	95.7% (487 votes)	60.1%

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32	M	United States	April 26

I’m a son of the devil!  

(we dance in hay barn)

September 24, 2008

by Johnsienoel

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
554	92.6% (337 votes)	26.7%

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40	F	United States	October 21

How is your payback story coming along…I have yet to unfurl a single idea!

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“I’m the killer of true joy.” I’d drop “true” for a smoother line.
Thanks to what you’re dressed to kill—the bema and bling?
Do you mean “And thanks to them (I’m dressed) to kill?
Do you mean “mug”? I sure hope so . . . . Artistic license with words is one thing, but tacky diction is quite another.

It’s not bad, I like the structure of the chorus skipping and rhyming at each end. I think it could be better and the message about drugs should be portrayed in a way that isn’t as trite as the devil being synonymous.