Non-fiction / Novel Summary + First Chapter
This boy named Travis is a descendent of John the Baptist (but he doesn't know it yet), the anti-Christ is about to emerge from hell but in order to do so the blood of one of Christ's disciples must be spilled. The anti-Christ practically sends the whole army of Hell itself after Travis to kill him. In order to prevent this from happening, Travis must shed a little of his blood where Christ was crucified. God sends a guardian angel to protect Travis and help him get from the U.S.A. all the way to the Middle East......but it isn't any ordinary angel.......it's the angel of death.
Copyright Dylan King
9-04-08
My Guardian Angel
By Dylan King
The Beginning
I got out of bed to get ready for another boring day at school. Quickly, I took a quick shower and put on some clothes.
“Travis! Breakfast is ready!” My mother yelled from down stairs.
I could already hear my younger sister, Ashley, running down the stairs to grab a bite. It’s hard to believe how fast eight year old kids can run. Although she can be a big pain, I still love her and I’m very protective of her. I walked down stairs and could smell the sweet aroma of pancakes and maple syrup.
“Good morning kids!” My mother said with a smile.
“Sweet, we’re having pancakes!” My sister said excitedly.
“Remember to pray before you eat.” My mother told my sister.
Ashley folded her hands and prayed as I did the same. After we ate my sister went outside to the school bus and I walked. I could take the bus, but I enjoyed the outdoors. Along the way I met up with my friend, Adam, at the street corner near his house.
“Hey Travis! What’s up?” Adam asked.
“Not much. Ready for another exciting day at school?” I asked sarcastically.
“I guess so.” He said.
We walked to school and went to our classes. I walked through the door to my metal shop class. Making things is one of my strong points, it just comes naturally. I’m pretty sure that if my teacher gave me his old car and told me to take it apart and reassemble it; I would be able to do it with ease. Today my teacher had us make a metal container. After class I stopped by my locker to pick up my books for math class. I’ve always hated math and I think I always will. While I was at my locker, Adam came around the corner and stood at my locker.
“So has your father come back yet?” Adam asked.
My father is in the Marines. He’s been gone for about a year now. When I’m home, the house just feels so empty without him.
“No, not yet.” I said.
Every day I wonder if he will make it back okay. The survival rate is around 42% right now. I can see the stress and worry in my mother’s eyes every day. We send him letters frequently telling him how much we love him and appreciate what he’s doing. Of course, Ashley asks to have him bring her a souvenir. I remember when my father took us fishing on Saturdays out on the lake. We would be out there for hours on end.
“Hello? Earth to Travis, come in Travis?” Adam yelled.
“Sorry” I said, “I was kind of zoning out for a second.”
Adam laughed and said “It’s ok, but I got to get back to class. I’ll see you after school ok?”
“Sure thing.” I replied.
After class was dismissed, I waited outside for Adam near the parking lot. In the distance I could see him coming out the doors waving something in the air.
He ran up to me and said excitedly “I got an A on my math test!”
This was almost unbelievable since he brought an F home daily. “Congratulations man!” I said and patted him on the back.
“Better not show that to your parents or they might have a heart attack.” I said sarcastically.
“No kidding, so what do you have going on later? I was thinking about going to the stadium for the football game.” Adam said.
“I wish I could, but I can’t. I have to babysit my little sister until my mother gets home.” I said.
“Bummer, I was hoping you could come. Maybe next time then?” Adam asked.
“Yeah, hopefully.” I said.
I could see my mom pulling out of the garage as we rounded the corner.
“Well I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Adam said.
“Yup, see you tomorrow!” I said as my mother pulled up next to me.
“Travis, I’ll be back around 9 o’clock. Do you think you can watch your sister for that long?” My mother asked.
“No problem, I’ll just put on the TV and she’ll fall asleep.” I replied.
My mother laughed and said “Okay, but no scary movies.” She rolled up her window and drove off.
I walked to the house and sat on the couch.
“Hey Ashley, want to watch some TV?” I yelled from upstairs so she could hear me.
“Yeah!” She said as she bolted up the stairs.
I put on some kid show and sure enough, she fell asleep. I went into my room to take a little nap myself. While I was sleeping I had this strange nightmare. I was walking down the street, but everything was on fire. It looked like a war site where a bomb hit. There were hundreds of corpses hanging from trees and some were splattered on the roads with their insides all over the place. I walked into someone’s lawn and tipped over a lawn mower. Underneath were the remains of an infant that couldn’t have been older than 5 months, but it was hard to tell because it was so mutilated. Cautiously, I peered inside the house and saw that the walls were painted in blood with human limbs spread out on the floor. I saw a shadow moving inside the house. I thought that maybe it was a person. I opened the door as the floor boards creaked below me.
“Hello? Is anyone in there? Are you okay?” I asked, but only got a deathly silence in response.
The shadow began to move again and came down the stairs. I thought it was a survivor, but this was something I’ve never seen before. It had the face of what looked kind of like a goblin from a fairy tale. It had the body of a lion with bone like spikes coming out of its spine. The creature had razor sharp teeth and claws that were drenched with thick, dark blood. It turned its head and looked at me with its black eyes. I started to run, but the beast quickly pounced on me. I was screaming in agony as it was tearing my back to pieces. It tore off my legs and ripped out my spine and I became limp as a rag doll. Suddenly, a voice rang out through the sky and the creature disappeared. The voice sounded feminine.
The voice said “You are the only one able to prevent this.”
“Why me? Why not someone else?” I asked.
“Your questions will be answered in time brother.” The voice said as it faded to a mere echo.
f after Travis to kill him. In order to prevent this from happening, Travis must shed a little of his blood where Christ was crucified. God sends a guardian angel to protect Travis and help him get from the U.S.A. all the way to the Middle East......but it isn't any ordinary angel.......it's the angel of death.
Copyright Dylan King
9-04-08
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This 257 word review has not been unlocked.
This is a descriptive piece written by someone with an above-average way with words.
Some grammar and logic issues:
I’m not sure if it’s possible for John the Baptist to have a descendent, or at the very least, a direct descendent. I don’t recall reading about the possibility. It’s a question for a Bible scholar.
According to the Bible, the anti-Christ is not yet in Hell, but will be cast there at some point after the Rapture. In other words, he is in human form for a time before he gets cast down.
“Although she can be a big pain, I still love her and I’m very protective of her.” No need to state your love; we can (and should) assume you do.
“I’m pretty sure that if my teacher gave me his old car and told me to take it apart and reassemble it; I would be able to do it with ease.” Good elaboration of skills, but I’d remove the “ease.” The character might indeed be able to do this, but logic says it probably wouldn’t be done easily.
If the character’s father has been deployed for over a year, you should mention that he is bound to come home pretty soon. An armed servicemember’s tour of duty is typcially a year to 400 days. Also, where is the character’s father deployed?
And I don’t think the survival rate at any recent battlefield is 42 percent. That’s a meatgrinder we haven’t seen since the trench warfare of WWI.
It’s okay to write the main character’s friend makes bad grades, but bringing an “F” home daily is pushing it.
Why was the baby ripped up by the lawnmower? Did the monster control people to do such atrocities?
I’m assuming you’re young, so please don’t take any of this too hard.
Keep writing.
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