Poetry / Mindfully, Playfully, Thunkfully, Writing... (Analysis)
In this mind, does it really matter…?
Do you really care to know what's going on in there…?
I am trapped here, inside myself, alone, dark, yellow, and red, blue…
I don't want your pity shut the fuck up bitch; see what else is coming through…
I write these things down, to try and fish them out.
Its too bad q-tips can't pop the thought bubbles and drain them out.
It's also too bad they can't be blown out, into a snotty tissue to be balled up and tossed away.
Purple eggs, sounds like something from a kid's tail, leave me be.
Jump up & down, converse shoed, tongue tied, grayish-blue eyed…
Mind at ease. Just incase I forgot to tell you; I'm Sandi…as if u already knew?
I am here to write a line, at this time, upside down spine, sunshine…
Nautica cologne, smelt through his shirt over my head…. Mmm tasty!
Horny, I dream of him in a black tank top & jeans, leaned over the window watching for me, impatiently…
Laughing at myself, I am pathetic, you see…hate me, love me, fuck me, kiss me…
Still left in this mind, more of this non-sense, but you kept reading…later on…I'll find some time to catch some more lines…
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
I love the way you wrote this. The words you used touched and set in your mind like few poems are able to do. I cannot fault what you said or the way you said it. Just some of it doesnt make that much sense. It does feel abit like you hop from one bit straight to another and you leave the reader a bit confused.
Then just one more thing… I, myself do not find swearing offensive and do not mind reading it. I also use it when i feel like it and need to convey my emotions better… Do remember though you might offend some other poeple. Ive been told that it sounds like im saying it is okay…
Im not saying its wrong as i do it myself. im saing watch out
other then that i really liked it. and thank you for sharing it with the rest of us!
xl13dj13x
- add/view comments (0)
Showing 1 - 1 of 1
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
