Thank you for your kind compliment.
Poetry / Butterfly
I can’t seem to find the happiness that once was mine.
And I can’t believe that my joy was really just a lie.
Made up in my mind as a shelter from life’s pain
Like a mental umbrella in a pouring rain.
Was it friendship or love…confidence or pride;
Maybe faith in higher powers from which I now shade my eye.
I wish I knew, so I could have it again.
I’m a caterpillar with a chrysalis of sin.
No certainty, that the transformation in mind
Will match the beauty of a butterfly!
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daithi reviewed Version 1 -
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The first line reminds me of the soliloquy in Hamlet: “I have of late, but wherefore I know not lost all my mirth. . . .”
It seemed derivative.
I couldn’t relate to the loss of faith in a higher power bit. I think we learn from the story of Job, if we lose our faith because of hardship, then we really didn’t have true faith to begin with.
I think the phoenix would have been a better metaphor for you than the butterfly in this one.
But hey Paul Lawrence Dunbar called his poem “Sympathy” when he meant “empathy”. It’s still a good poem.
A little hint: Don’t expect anyone to take it easy on your poem because it comes from a place of pain. Most creative impulses do.
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dissipatingsoul reviewed Version 1 -
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I like this poem, it’s well written and it’s something I think a lot of people can relate to. Whenever we aren’t happy we tend to wonder what it was that really made the difference, and this poem hits that mark very well. Well written.
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