Very inspired by your review. Who know, maybe more on the same element would be rewarding? Thanks for the inspiration, B.
Flash Fiction / Locked in the Absurd
Mid afternoon. One job; two radios.
One waits for the morning, whispering to it’s heartache in the dead of night.
Romantics gossip over what strange means to them?
Opera; music lessons; underwear; lingerie; the Holidays; and then, “Coming soon to public radio; Aristotle!”
Thinking of her, the power goes out; change either begins at home, or ends without radio?
Burning out in a library, reading notes about sudden euphoria, the court is adjourned.
Work begins, again, in the morning.
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SMRB reviewed Version 1 -
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You mentioned earlier to me something about being misunderstood, this piece is so perfectly vague on top but there is no misunderstanding the underlying sordidness of it all. Especially the ending Work begins, again,in the morning.
short sweet and sticky
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oknapp reviewed Version 1 -
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Very ambiguous and i’ll bet you meant it to be. You certainly have this reviewer stumped I have studied this piece from every angle and wonder what the protagonist is doing. Whatever it is you have taken the mundane out of it and introduced mystery and hidden symbols. thus, it is not boring at all. I like a piece that forces a reader to think. The obvious is not always exciting. The best part of any literary text is the hidden dichotomy or element. I would space it differently(as a paragraph) and give the reader just a little more. I suppose me wanting to know more about it means you have done your job by creating an implicit piece. However it needs just a few more explicit details. Implicit and explicit work together splendidly. I look forward to more of your symbolism. Sandi
Marrianeelizabeth reviewed Version 1 -
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i just put a random number for the rating because i honestly have no idea what flash fiction is… but this piece is interesting… i’m not sure exactly if i understood it completely, it almost seems as a random collection of thoughts. what would you describe it as?
axiom49 reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice piece. I got that “snapshot” that people talk about when speaking of flash fiction, I saw that small scene for a brief moment. That being said, I think this could be even better in future rewrites. First of all, the semicolons are overused. Get rid of them. The last line should end as a question, or rather, I guess it could, to keep everything looking uniform. I know this isn’t a poem, but, I’m just stating what I’d do in a future draft. Urbis is sometimes wonky with spacing, so I’m not sure if it was just an error to have two lines between each sentence except for the last line, or if that was intentional, please let me know. CB radios/scanners can be fun, I’d like to read more from you.
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