Lyrics / My Groove
downtown they dance
lust be sensation-
uptown they drink
to health and occupation-
but i’m unreliant
of the common cause
because trust lies
and love is blind?
i’m feeling natural
admit and know
the rhythm is
gift to this
humble flow.
our egos are
tiny at a glance
but personality
isn’t just a rant-
so i saunter down
for nurturing eyes,
and i slip
smooth
into the guise,
so tempting
and feline as
you prance,
i feel needs
with my lips
and my hands-
exonerated
by my own inclination,
but i am not a king
without amplification.
sleeping
next to a dead fire,
they’re coming for me,
not for dues or
desire-
for many ideas
birthed inside
my independance lead,
cuz every
human
is human- see?
healthy serving
such adolescent needs?
my strengths
are ugly
but my feats
can believe-
and my strengths
are royal
my feats
are me.
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That was really cool to read. The words flow very easily and can be interpreted differently. I liked it!
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I really like this. It has a weird kind of flow that appeals to me. I’d really like to hear this as a song.
“my strengths
are royal
my feats
are me”
excellent ending.
Keep it up
I think with the help of music this will be good, I sort of lost interest half way through but I think music would keep it going.
I want your children. I enjoyed the poem that much. Nothing bad to say from me, for a remarkable once.
I liked this alot. The lyrics are alot like “Chumbawumba- Mary,Mary” I suggest you listen to it and you would know what I am talking about. I really liked the lines
“my strengths
are ugly
but my feats
can believe-
and my strengths
are royal
my feats
are me”
I thought this was powerful and a brilliant way to end the song. Good job and I hope to read more.
Very interesting. I like your style and rhythm.
Wow this was really good. I like how the words flow and your use of rhyme. It didn’t seem as though it was too hard pressed. I especially enjoyed the lines:
“i’m feeling natural
admit and know
the rhythm is
gift to this
humble flow”
Keep up the good work, there isn’t anything I’d change on this one.
at times hard to follow. no need for puncuation just maybe eliminate unecessary words for a better flow.
i’m feeling natural
admit and know
the rhythm is
gift to this
humble flow.
somewhat hard to interpret and follow
my strengths
are ugly
but my feats
can believe-
and my strengths
are royal
my feats
are me.
finishes very strong but stumbles a litte getting there. Overall I liked the raw idea the structure just needs work.
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