Poetry / Love Struck

Thank you, for your honest assessment.

Would the “jump” (as you referred to it) from, “passion’s consummation”, to, “languished in the cold.”, have been  more decipherable, had I used different punctuation?  (perhaps, a hyphen, rather than a comma?)  I understand how this may have confused you.  

the first line

Incendiary ammunition
arms the archer’s bow
sparking passion’s
consummation
languished in the cold

Not punctuation as much as The thought of sparking passion.. brings new hope and love to mind as it starts the poem, then languished used so quickly seems a very large  contrast to the statement.
Just my opinion, and another way to look at your word choices.

Bye have a great day

Thanks for the input.  I will bear your comments, in mind.  :-)

I know that you knew exactly what you meant through  emotional vision , either experienced or understood by the person you are. I do the same thing very often,and usually it is pointed out to me, in the same way that I did. As in this “The thought of sparking passion.. brings new hope and love to mind as it starts the poem, then languished used so quickly seems a very large  contrast to the statement. ”
Plus if I wrote it was a great poem(which it is) and it read well,etc.etc.It would not meet review  requirements .
Please feel free to review some of my work when you get a chance.The most recent posts are a bit darkside,so you might want to look back into my items,
HAVE AN OUTSTANDING DAY!!

Thanks-  
I am always up to an objective point of view.  I will definitely check out your work.
-Tammy   :-)  

Passion had languished, after having lain dormant for a very long time.  (Use it, or lose it, I suppose.)
Perhaps, had I punctuated differently, that would have been clearer.
As for my absurd redundancy; I’m new to Urbis and not yet sure how to complete the “Ratings and Rankings” portion of the prerequisite.  
Please enlighten me; as, I haven’t graduated from the University Of The Brutally Tactless.

Very sincerely,
-Tammy   :-)  

Thank you, for the positive feedback.   :-)  
RE:  Achilles’ heel-
Yes.  When the arrow finds its mark; we’re often weakened, and vulnerable to heartbreak.  

Thank you, so much, for the positive feedback!
-Tammy   :-)

You deserve it otherwise I wouldn’t’ve said it. Today, I still think of the poem, which means it’s great. Keep writing like that and the world will be hearing from you!

Unless Cupid arms himself with a pea-shooter; it follows that the ammunition WOULD be incendiary-It SPARKED the consummation of passion.  Although I welcome your input, I would not be inclined to tweak it.  
The added benefit of that adjective, is the five syllables, which allow the piece to meter out properly.
I’ve had incredible luck with this poem, already.  It was just published in a book of poetry, entitled, ‘Collected Whispers’, where it garnered an editor’s choice award.
I appreciate the input.  Thank you.
Sincerely,
-Tammy   :-)

Arrow was incendiary; because, it “sparked” the consummation of passion.  Cupid seems to strike at random.  We are “slayed”, when we fall in love, and relinquish our hearts.  Love often makes us vulnerable.
In this case, Achilles’ heel is located in the heart of the stricken.

very nice.  

Thank you, Marvin-
T.  :-)

Yes; in fact, LOVE STRUCK is one of them.
Thank  you, for the positive feedback.

-T   :-)