Poetry / It Is Beauty Not Perfect (Analysis)

You are very talented, it’s hard to write a good piece of poetry, esspecially if it doesn’t rhyme. I also like how you point of that you can find true beauty in things that others wouldn’t think of as beautiful.

this poem seems to have almost a metaphysical feel to it, however im not sure i grasp what the poem is actually saying…i can comprehend the seeing of beauty in all the different things but i dont quite understand the heaven part of it.

Great sentiment (makes me think of a Downs Syndrome young adult in our church), with excellent descriptions.

The kind of beauty you’re talking about has little to do with aesthetics. You imply that one does not need any of the senses to “achieve” heaven. I guess what I’m saying is that the words beauty and heaven are a little confusing and maybe detract from this other really good work. Also, the centered visual I find distracting, but that’s just me.

Thanks for the read!

WOW
I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO THROW ANYTHING LIKE THAT TOGETHER
THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!!!
SO MANY BIG CONFUSING WORDS
BUT IT SOUNDED GREAT
HOLY HELL THATS GOIN ON MY FAVES

   GREAT JOB!

i like the idea and how you use different examples…but…here it comes…use more detail to show more of the beauty in each examples….over all good not bad, not great

Smooth, clear … like the line “the perfection of / a loving soul encased / in the only body it knows / however awkward” ... i understand this as the soul only knows one body, but it will choose perfection of itself regardless and this being of divine intention. I have a little trouble with the title and the last line but on the whole I love the poem. Thanks for sharing.

This is a thinker piece. And because of that it makes me think about things, duh, which is really hard to get me to do.
The only thing I’d suggest is changing the ending sentance to make it more clear as to what you’re saying. Like, is there supposed to be emphasis on ‘that’, “now THAT is heaven,” or is it supposed to say something else? It’s a little unclear on how that sentance is presented.
Good job though! = ]

Wow, that was a really good read. It was simplistic, but powerful and empathic in its own simplicity. I enjoyed it immensely, partly because I’ve recently fallen in love and your words stoke a fire in me, and partly because I can just objectively tell that the message is something meaningful. The structure, though it lends no credence to a rhyme structure and rightly so, frames the message perfectly.

I look forward to reading more.

I liked L5 and L6, primarily because this is something that you typically don’t see beauty in, however, the narrator does anyway. This piece inspires me to think of what it would be like if we could casually peer into the true essence of those who we observe, and identify their inner thoughts as if their skin was clear glass – a window to their soul. Good job.

I thought it’s a bit unclear, but written very well.
Especially, I liked
“in the self-conscious

quaver of a

teenaged smile,

in the elegant creases of

a worn face.”

However, I didn’t quite understand how are the last 5 lines supposed to be read. What you try to say there is a bit unclear, for the sentence seems a bit unfinished. I mean, I can’t understand what part of the sentence is “now that is heaven”.

But overall it’s interesting.