Quotes / Five

I wasn’t quite expecting a poem in the quote section! Very decieving… but I was pleasantly surprised I haven’t read a poem that flowed this well in quite awhile. Good job!

I like what you’ve got here, but I think it needs to be in the Poetry category.

I really liked this. I too miss my childhood and the innocence that I had. It would be nice to go back to that. :)

As far as quotes go I think this is a failed attempt…stick with your point and get it across, everything else is simply unnecessary filler. As it stands it appears to be more fitting as a poem.

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June 30, 2010

by kelmo

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
46	94.7% (19 votes)	36.0%

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24	F	United States	August 27

It started out as a quote but then I expanded it per a reader’s suggestion. I agree it’s more of a poem.  Sorry for the confusion!

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how true. i feel the exact same way.

I’d say this is more of a poem than a quote!  But its definitely relatable, which is relatively important with anything written.

The subject of childhood nostalgia is a bit of an exhausted subject and lost cause, but understandable nonetheless.  

I liked the imagery/analogy of a “universal stem of childhood” and the formation and growth of life. Like I said, its very relatable.

I feel like you could expand on this and possibly add some more sensory descriptions and conclude it a bit more thoroughly.  Your ending left me not really wanting to “go back” with the narrator, or really even caring that the narrator wants so badly to return to those ages.

Anways, good luck. It was a good short read and I think if you expand on this it could be great!

Yes I have to agree with you it is a poem, but a very good one at that. I really like how you intertwined growing up with a group people to a single plant growing in the second stanza. I also agree in the feeling of want to throw time into reverse and go to when you were a kind and everything was much simpler in your eyes. I do have one question though; what was the original quote that started this?

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April 03, 2010

by kelmo

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
46	94.7% (19 votes)	36.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
24	F	United States	August 27

It started out something like “I wish I could go back to being five, before enough time had passed for people to become so different from each other.”  It was just sort of a meandering thought about the kids that I used to be friends with and the people that we all became.

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the simple yet complacated part of life. my favorite part of the quote was

“I’d like to go back

before enough time had passed

for people to become so different

from each other”

its the truth. i feel that way myself.

life was so much eaiser when we are young.

keep up the good work!
=]

I like this innocence-of-childhood idea. You describe it well. It could be laid out as a poem or in paragraphs as a mini essay.

A beautiful piece that mirrors the thoughts of most college students. We all wish to go back in time before love, needs and wants, pain, and everything else came into full view. I enjoyed this for being simple and pure, and brightening my day a bit.