Quotes / Five

I wish I could go back to being five,

when a person was a person.

Gender was hardly distinguished.

Cliques could fade and meld

and accidents were forgiven or forgotten

within moments.

 

We were all in the same place

a universal stem of childhood

that gradually branched out, formed new buds,

became a new plant altogether.

The past was only the weight of a few years.

 

I'd like to go back

before enough time had passed

for people to become so different

from each other.

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iLove avatar General Stranger

August 13, 2010

iLove

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iLove reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

I wasn’t quite expecting a poem in the quote section! Very decieving… but I was pleasantly surprised I haven’t read a poem that flowed this well in quite awhile. Good job!

Smintboyuk avatar General Stranger

July 30, 2010

Smintboyuk

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Smintboyuk reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

I like what you’ve got here, but I think it needs to be in the Poetry category.

KDKoaley avatar General Stranger

July 15, 2010

KDKoaley

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KDKoaley reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

I really liked this. I too miss my childhood and the innocence that I had. It would be nice to go back to that. :)

Obiewon avatar General Friend

June 22, 2010

Obiewon

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Obiewon reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

As far as quotes go I think this is a failed attempt…stick with your point and get it across, everything else is simply unnecessary filler. As it stands it appears to be more fitting as a poem.

karrina avatar General Stranger

June 08, 2010

karrina

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karrina reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

how true. i feel the exact same way.

isntlifejuicy avatar General Stranger

April 15, 2010

isntlifejuicy

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isntlifejuicy reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

I’d say this is more of a poem than a quote!  But its definitely relatable, which is relatively important with anything written.

The subject of childhood nostalgia is a bit of an exhausted subject and lost cause, but understandable nonetheless.  

I liked the imagery/analogy of a “universal stem of childhood” and the formation and growth of life. Like I said, its very relatable.

I feel like you could expand on this and possibly add some more sensory descriptions and conclude it a bit more thoroughly.  Your ending left me not really wanting to “go back” with the narrator, or really even caring that the narrator wants so badly to return to those ages.

Anways, good luck. It was a good short read and I think if you expand on this it could be great!

pushover4u avatar General Stranger

April 02, 2010

pushover4u

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pushover4u reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

Yes I have to agree with you it is a poem, but a very good one at that. I really like how you intertwined growing up with a group people to a single plant growing in the second stanza. I also agree in the feeling of want to throw time into reverse and go to when you were a kind and everything was much simpler in your eyes. I do have one question though; what was the original quote that started this?

AmbrAnarchy avatar General Stranger

March 06, 2010

AmbrAnarchy

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AmbrAnarchy reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

the simple yet complacated part of life. my favorite part of the quote was

“I’d like to go back

before enough time had passed

for people to become so different

from each other”

its the truth. i feel that way myself.

life was so much eaiser when we are young.

keep up the good work!
=]

Matthewtuckey avatar General Stranger

February 14, 2010

Matthewtuckey

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Matthewtuckey reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

I like this innocence-of-childhood idea. You describe it well. It could be laid out as a poem or in paragraphs as a mini essay.

dirt_empire avatar General Stranger

January 30, 2010

dirt_empire

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dirt_empire reviewed Version 4 - Read 100% of the Item

A beautiful piece that mirrors the thoughts of most college students. We all wish to go back in time before love, needs and wants, pain, and everything else came into full view. I enjoyed this for being simple and pure, and brightening my day a bit.

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kelmo avatar

kelmo

Age: 24
Loc: United States
Gen: F
Last Login: August 27
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