Stage Play / The Truth is a Lie
Characters
Odessa
Mikael
Setting: The young couple is at a diner around 9 pm on the outskirts of a small deserted town. The diner is pretty empty; save the cook and two waitresses. Some soft rock music plays in the background from a small sound system. Odessa and Mikael sit in a booth at the back of the diner. On the table are two placemats, a napkin dispenser, salt, sugar, two forks, two butter knives, and ketchup. One of the waitresses arrives at the table, quietly dropping off one coffee, one iced lemon tea and two orders of California cheeseburgers. Once done, she quickly walks away to gossip with her co-worker.
Mikael: So… what is bothering you? [Puts lettuce and ketchup onto his burger]
Odessa: Nothing’s bothering me; what made you think that?
Mikael: Just… You’ve been awfully quiet since the argument. Are you sure that you’re fine wi-
Odessa: Mikael. Leave it alone. If I said that I’m fine with it, then I’m fine with it. Understand? [Nervously picks at her cheeseburger]
Mikael: Babes, I just don’t want to hurt you any more than this situation has hurt both of us. Don’t make it look like I’m the bad guy here; please. Just let me in.
Odessa: Mikael. Nothing is wrong. Bring it up again and there will be something wrong; I assure you.
[Mikael sighs softly as they both eat silently, Odessa’s mind wandering as she stares out the window. Mikael puts his burger down for a moment, needing to something.]
Mikael: Odessa, look. Miranda and I were just talking. Nothing else happened. I know you know that; but you’ve grown so protective these past few months. With you behaving like this, it’s… [Odessa looks at him] It’s getting harder to appease you and your wants. Please, just tell me what you need. [Mikael emphasizes the word ‘need’]
Odessa: Mikael… I just need to know that you are happy and that you’re aware of the fact that I support you through everything no matter how bad any situation might get. [Her hands twiddle with her butter knife nervously as she speaks. Her eyes remain distant, as if trying to make an internal decision] I’m not worried about Miranda. If you say that it was merely conversation and no more, than how am I to go and get mad? I’d look pretty ridiculous, don’t you think?
Mikael: True, you would. Besides, it’s not like when you hang out on the weekends with your friends. They’re people that I don’t like around you. Always partying and never thinking twice about consequences.
Odessa: Baby, how can you say tha-?
Mikael: Odessa, don’t even begin to defend them. Always with the hard core music and dangerous ways of partying. I don’t know what you see in them. Especially the guys… They act so careless. Odessa, I get worried when you’re around them; and when I’m not there with you, the worry is one hundred percent worse.
Odessa: Would you be happier if I stopped hanging out with them?
Mikael: I would be, but they are your friends. I can’t tell you to stop talking to them. What would I look like if I did, right? [Odessa whispers an answer under her breath as she sips her coffee] What?
Odessa: [looks up, mentally stunned for a moment] I said… that… they - no. I said that you commanding me to stop talking to them would give them one more reason to dislike you.
[An awkward silence passes between the two as thoughts pop into each of their heads over what was just said. Odessa’s eyes wander out of the window again.]
Mikael: Are they the ones who helped to add fire to the Miranda thing or have they been telling you to leave me all along? Which is it because I’m rather confused on what to believe I’ve heard tonight. You tell me you don’t like Miranda and that you want me to stay away from her; then you go and change your mind. Were you diagnosed as bipolar in the last twenty four hours and decided not to tell me?
Odessa: Baby, it doesn’t matter.
Mikael: But it does matter, especially when you’re feeling hurt or angry; in which I must admit I think you’re feeling both right now. You’re just not telling me anything. Why don’t they like me? What do I have to do or say in order to make them believe that I’m the one for you?
Odessa: You don’t need to do anything. They dislike you for their own reasons; most of which that are selfish. The only thing that matters is what we think of each other. [Her fingers lightly tap on the table top as she speaks. The anxiety in her face heightens slightly. She and Mikael make eye contact and exchange smiles. His is confident, hers is nervous.]
Mikael: You’re right. As long as we’re happy with each other, then nothing else matters. I don’t know why I’m even worried about what your friends think. They’re not here to hold your hand when you had a rough rehearsal or something like the such. They only seem to act like distractions.
Odessa: Yea… I just see it as them trying to protect me from the world like they always attempt to do. Just, it doesn’t work sometimes. And besides, not all of them hate you. Just some.
[Mikael blinks some, his brow furrowing at the word ‘hate’]
Mikael: Hate or dislike?
Odessa: What?
Mikael: Your friends. Do they hate or dislike me. The two are only similar. They are not mutual and do not stand for one or the other.
Odessa: Oh why they… see they… [Lowering her eyelids, Odessa begins to feel like she’s gotten into something she can’t escape.] It’s really hard to tell. They all insult you to an extent; but I defend you each time.
Mikael: Is it now a task to stand up for me? Has supporting me become too hard for you, Odessa? Please, let me know and I’ll let you go.
Odessa: Mikael! Stop saying things like that! You know that that isn’t anywhere what I mean. You also know that I’d defend you, even through Chinese water torture! What my friends say won’t stop me from loving you. If it did, then I’ll be a damned fool. Right or wrong?
Mikael: Right, I just worry sometimes. You know? [Mikael’s cell phone rings. He answers it, finding a text message. While he responds to it, Odessa fiddle with her napkin and fork, then adds some sugar to her already cooling coffee. His face contorts some as he puts his phone back into his pocket.]
Odessa: Who was it?
Mikael: It was Nikolas. He basically said that my boss was looking for me. Something about a discussion needing to take place before I departed.
Odessa: I see… [Suddenly, her hand stops messing with the objects on the table.]
Mikael: Now back to what I was saying… [Notices that Odessa is looking out the window again.] I just don’t want to lose you. I love you with all of my life and I hope you feel the same way. Odessa, I have let you know me for a while. All my strengths and weaknesses. I’ve even humiliated myself in front of you. I know you’re still holding some things back from me… Just promise me you’ll be fine.
Odessa: I’m not going anywhere. Trust me. [Turning, she looks at him and smiles. Nodding, Mikael rises from his seat, kissing her on the cheek and leaves the diner. Sighing, she looks at him through the window as he starts his car and begins pulling away. Softly, she whispers to herself.] I’ll be fine pretending that all is well, for I’m great at hiding what people don’t need to know… Besides, I’ve lost you already.
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very well written. Your describitons are very good. It is sad and moving. It is not too short. I have a short script too. These are great for schools to perform. I will try to read more of your work.
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A good, provokative ending. It would, however, be good to know where he is going. I understand from the Notes for Reviewer sort of, but it could be clearer in the play. Also, the reason for Odessa’s friends’ hatred could be clearer.
Notes:
In a stage play or screenplay, you shouldn’t describe actions that don’t happen (the waitress walking away to gossip with a co-worker). Describe this action when it happens.
Odessa can stare out the window, but describing her mind as “wandering” is usually not done in a stage play or screenplay. If the audience can’t see the action, don’t describe it (this is mostly the case with thought processes).
[Odessa looks at him] (needs to be more specific. How does she look at him?)
than how am I = then
you say tha-? (This is hardly worth the emphasis on interruption. She’s able to complete this whole sentence except for one letter. I’d change this so that M. really interrupts her.)
mentally stunned (again, if the audience can’t see this, don’t describe it)
thought popping into their heads (also impossible for the audience to see unless you are going to do something expressionistic like using screens on the stage to broadcast these thoughts.
twenty four hours = twenty-four
in which I must (awkward, not grammatical, typo?)
of which that are (delete that)
Odessa begins to feel like… (Again, you can’t tell the audience how she’s feeling; you have to show us an action that reveals this.)
Odessa fiddle with… = fiddles
I absolutely loved the complexity of your play. You captured real life in your words. I was able to picture everything from the stage setting to the finite actions the characters. I enjoyed how the conversation between Odessa nad Mikael flowed nicely. Everything appeared perfectly timed and easy to follow. One of my favorite parts to your play was when their conversation began to talk about their friends outside of their relationship. I could tell that they didn’t approve of each other’s friends but they respected one another enough not to make a big deal about it. Also, your writing was nicely formatted and clear, making it easy to relate to.
One suggestion is you might want to add a Act II. I am interested in seeing how the story develops. I do not think that the play needs anything more. I enjoyed the way you ended the play. I think that your words beautifully created a bittersweet ending. I had to give you a ten for its overall content. Great work!
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