Lyrics / Move and Miss (Analysis)
In the valley I've been living
Got no friends here I've been feeling low
There's nothing to do and there's no women
Just church folk so there's no winning here
What am I to do?
It's been eight long months now I've been missing you
City's calling, city's calling me
Back to the places that we used to meet
I wish you hadn't moved so far away
I'd give anything to go back to those days
Downtown's calling, downtown's calling me
What am I to do?...
What am I to do?
In the valley I've been waiting
Oh so patiently
I don't know why there's nothing here for me
Downtown's calling, downtown's calling me
It's been eight long months now I've been missing you
It's been eight long months now I've been missing you
It's been eight long months now I've been missing you
It's been eight long months now what am I to do?
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I wish I could put this to some music, because I like the flow of the lyrics, I just can’t put them together with a sound? Your message is very clear, but again, without sound, I don’t see a reason to repeat that last line (It’s been eight long months now I’ve been missing you) three times over. I think it would read better being no more the two, but again, the sound…
Nice work. Keep writing and working on this piece.
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As a song, I feel the second and third stanzas would do quite well, but the first is very specific. I can only speak for myself, but the songs I love most are those that I can relate to. Mentioning the churchfolk might shut some listeners out of what is otherwise a very relatable scenario. If not for the churchfolk and 8 months specifically, this could be about myself and my husband.
I must say that if this is written not for general performance, but for your friend, it would be perfect to record and send to him or her. They would treasure it.
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