You’re definitely right about adding the “the.” thanks.
Limericks / Economic Recovery Limericks
From Obama a stimulus plan
for the good of the poor working man
The rich said “no dice,
It’s too high a price”
But conservatives hadn’t a plan
What became of the surplus of Clinton?
“It got lost in Iraq”, said Bush, winkin’
But we know his tax breaks
were a part of the stakes
To enrich the most rich was his thinkin’
The Republicans moan and they whine,
upset that it’s no longer time
for fat CEOs
to steal blindly from those
who work hard for barely a dime
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RemyEvans reviewed Version 1 -
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As a fellow Liberal, I loved all three of these. You play in the second of, “Enrich the most rich” was just plain fun. It’s hard to suggest any improvement upon these, because the rules and rhythm could be violated by any heavy edits. And I can’t think of these getting any better.
Don’t expect to brighten any hard-working conservatives’ days, though. There are just as many working hard for barely a dime as there are liberals. Maybe even more.
My biggest problem is that I want more, which I think is what you want. These would go well in a Bathroom Reader, and you should send them in immediately. Thank you very much for these.
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Blue_Eyes reviewed Version 1 -
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Quite clever and uproariously funny; what I would call ‘timely’ humour, considering the current state of the union.
Suggestions for tightening the syllable count in Limerick three: L1 – remove ‘they’. L3 – add ‘the’. Syllable count now 8, 8, 6, 6, 8.
I wouldn’t change anything else. Each limerick is surprisingly coherent considering the constraints brought on by the size and format of such pieces. Well done. :)
Treatsa reviewed Version 1 -
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If only all my news media was in limerick form.
In #2, L2 I would cut “it got” – the commas slow the pace down in that line and the extra words create weight.
I love them all.
LittleWhale reviewed Version 1 -
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Love this!
There are only minor punctuation corrections to be suggested; capitalization for every line, a period after the last word, a period after the word “plan” in the first stanza.
The last stanza is a great field goal, a drop kick straght up the middle…Ha,ha
“The Republicans moan and they whine, upset that it’s no longer time, for fat CEOs, to steal blindly from those, who work hard for barely a dime.”
OH…MY…GRENADE!!! Very timely.
More please…
LittleWhale
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