Poetry / Blowing dust

Wow you’re only 16? i looked through several of ur poems and decided to review this one’although i also liked “people these days.”
Yeah i believe our world has probably been in the exact place we are at now countless times and just havent gotten it right yet, civilizations rising and falling and possibly destroying all life until we build back up through evolution. Who knows?
I like the short poems because you can go two ways: get published in a collective artist poetry book or release a book full of just your stuff. Short and powerful, you use few words to tackle large bigger than life subjects. I work in a hotel right next to a bar and i hear micheal Jackon blaring as i write this btw; Billy jean now.
I like the double edged sword of time in lines 4-5. i dont use cliches in my work but it gets the point across quickly.
I dontusually correct peole on punctuation and the like because you know but the cosmos dies as it is one singular “structure” i guess and condemning is the correct spelling. I hate being a fish gobbler in that respect but im just lettin ya know. i did put this in my favorites btw. any way u rock looking foreward to new stuff.

The start or continuation of a much bigger piece. Time is a keeper, but still almost impossible to measure. It is equally hard to equate time with the concrete. Try to use metaphor & comparison to bring in the usual or ordinary to help reader understand and relate to what speaker is saying. Use metaphor but don’t rely on comparison to convey meaning.

Hello,

You have a good start here. A small typo with civilizations. I understand what you are trying to convey but more colour, more emotion, like why you feel this way, what is driving your thoughts and feelings. Still, a good start. Keep on.