Explain please.
Short Story / 5 Rules of Song and Dance (Analysis)
Rule Number 5: Don’t look in your partner’s eyes
Rachel glared into Damien’s eyes as they rehearsed. They moved fervently over the dance floor and Rachel grated out the words to the song. Damien laughed as she tripped in between steps.
“Damn it!” she snarled.
“Breathe.” Damien told her. “Relax, girl, we’ll get it.”
Rachel nodded in agreement and led him to position to start over. They were rehearsing for the Talent Expo at their school. It was important for Rachel because she knew talent scouts would be there.
Damien had agreed to dance with her for his own reasons. Besides showing his friends that the choral and dance classes he took weren’t stupid, he wanted to impress the girls at school. It wasn’t like Little Miss Performance Art in his arms would make sure they ended up dance partners forever.
“How’d it look, Amy?” Rachel asked the girl sitting off to the side.
“Awesome!” she said, readying to start the song over.
Amy was Rachel’s best friend from school choir. She agreed to help out with the sound and watch rehearsals for critique.
“Ok. You ready?” Rachel asked.
Damien looked her in the eyes and grinned.
“Let’s do it.”
Rule Number 4: Don’t sing to your partner
Rachel pressed her body against Damien’s as she sang the next part of the song. Her words dripped with passion and serenity all at the same time. Damien dipped her low and lifted her leg up onto his hip. Every motion was perfectly in time.
“Mother Superior jump the gun
Mother Superior jump the gun…” she sang to him.
She couldn’t help but feel as though she were singing to him as they moved across the dance floor. She focused all her energy into the movements and words, trying to make each one pure emotion. That was what the scouts were looking for.
Damien worked through it methodically. He worked her body like a piece of clay, positioning her just so for each word. He listened for his part to come up and stood still as she walked behind him, trailing a hand over his shoulders.
“When I hold you in my arms.”
“Oh yeah.” Rachel sang.
“When I feel my finger on your trigger.” He said grabbing her waist and pulling her to his side.
“Oh yeah.”
“Well don’t you know nobody can do me no harm.” He said, dipping her shallowly.
“Oh yeah.”
“Cause-”
“Happiness is a warm gun.” They sang in unison.
Amy watched them. It was, to quote Take the Lead, sex on hardwood. They were completely in synch with each other's bodies.
Rule Number 3: Don’t talk to your partner outside of rehearsal
“Hey Damien!” Rachel said as she passed him in the hall.
“Hey Rachel! Wait,” he said, catching her arm. “Did you wanna go grab something to eat after school?”
“But we’ve got to rehearse.”
“C’mon. A little food won’t hurt.”
“Oh all right. Meet me outside after school and we can go to Burger King or something.” Rachel agreed.
As Rachel sat in her next class, copying notes, she couldn’t help but think about Damien. ‘Is he doing this to avoid work? Or maybe because he… likes me?’
Two classrooms over, Damien flirted with the girl in the desk next to his. She giggled in a way he couldn’t help but compare to Rachel’s laugh. In fact, this girl could barely compare to Rachel’s spitfire attitude.
Rule Number 2: Don’t go out with your partner
Two hours later they had grabbed something to eat and were sitting in a booth discussing costumes.
“I’m thinking black leggings and a black tank top with a blue belly dancer’s skirt.” Rachel said.
“Hmm… I don’t think it would look very flattering on me. But if you insist.” he replied munching on a fry.
Rachel laughed and took a sip of her Dr. Pepper.
“Not for you stupid, for me.”
“Oh well that works too.”
“And for you-”
“I’m wearing a blue shirt and black pants. Real simple.”
Rachel nodded. Some of his friends came through the door. He waved and smiled but over all ignored them. But they were not to be deterred.
“Hey Dame, old buddy, old pal.” One said, sliding into the booth next to him.
“Hey Ricky.” He said.
“Oh c’mon don’t brush me off like that Dancer Boy.” He said. “Speaking of which this must be your sex kitten of a dance partner.”
Rachel’s head jerked up in surprise. Had Damien been saying things about her? Damien’s eyes grew wide with shock.
“Watch it, man.” He said in warning.
“Is she really as flexible as you say? I’m sure that would come in handy if she-”
“Shut up, Ricky!” he snapped.
But it was too late; Rachel was already out of the booth and in her car.
Rule Number 1: Don’t fall in love with your partner
Damien and Rachel walked into the studio silently. Amy could feel the tension in the room as she started the music. Damien walked towards Rachel with intensity in his eyes.
“She’s not a girl
Who misses much
La, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh
Oh yeah.” He sang.
Rachel ran her hand down his chest a bit rougher than usual and the hand on his shoulder was fisted in his shirt rather than touching him.
“She’s well acquainted with the touch of a velvet hand
Like a lizard on a window pane
The man in the crowd with his multicolored mirrors
And his hobnailed boots.” Rachel countered.
“Um… guys?” Amy asked.
“Lying with his eyes while his hands are
Busy working over time
A soap impression of his wife which he ate
And donated to the National Trust.” They sang in harmony.
“Guys…” Amy ventured again. Rachel looked downright pissed while Damien seemed to be urging her to be even worse. His hands swept across her with a bruising force while Rachel’s nails seemed to have taken place of her fingers. Their eyes screamed murder at each other as they pushed through the next part of the song.
“I need a fix
Cause I’m going down
Down to the BITCH-” Damien’s voice was cut off.
“That’s it. Stupid bastard!”
“Oh like this whole thing is my fault?”
“Sex kitten? Men don’t get that from thin air.”
“You’re blowing this out of proportion!”
“Am I?!”
“Yes!”
“I hate you!”
“I hate you!” Damien screamed before he crushed his lips down to hers.
“Riiiiiight. I’m just gonna go. So here’s the CD player. I’ll need it back when you’re done.” Amy said edging out of the room.
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Damien and Rachel did well in the Talent Expo. It was, as it always was, sex set to music. Ricky was the first to sign up for dance class after that. Rachel and Damien’s relationship never left the dance floor, it never had to. Damien was right about Rachel not trying to make him keep up so he did it on his own. They went on to do guest appearances on shows like Dancing with the Stars and David Letterman. And Amy? Well I’m glad you asked, she-
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“Amy? What are you writing?” Rachel asked, glancing over at Amy's laptop.
“Um… nothing Rachel.” She said, closing it with a click.
“I thought I told you not to make an unauthorized biography.”
“Yeah, well. Right I’m just gonna go now…” She said, edging towards the door to the coffee shop.
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So follow these steps and your sure to avoid disaster. Oh, and check out my other list. 5 Rules of Tutoring.
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thegonzobordello reviewed Version 1 -
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tstar11 reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow, I like how everything was one big story and it made sense. I didn’t see any gramar or spelling errors. I like how it made you want to know what happened, it kept you reading. Good job.
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Wondering_Hazel_Eyes reviewed Version 1 -
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I absolutely loved how you used “Little Miss Performance Art” as a name in a way. I belive it could be published if it was longer, but you definately have the talent. Also the dialouge was great and it wasn’t just “she said or he said” stuff.
velvetlullaby18 reviewed Version 1 -
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It was good but I think you need to a little more description into it
Olive147 reviewed Version 1 -
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This is really good…I started off correcting stuff, and here those are-
It was important for Rachel=It was important to Rachel
Little Miss Performance Art=Little Miss Performing Arts
but then I got too caught up in the story to do any more corrections, and as far as I noticed, there weren’t any more, but that isn’t really all that reliable!
Great, great story…I loved it and I would really like to read more
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