Poetry / Mommy! There's a monster!

Mommy!

There’s a monster!

Come quick!

I know it’s here!

I can feel it’s

evil presence.

I can feel it

drawing near.

And though

I may not see it

crawling,

oozing

on the floor.

I insist that

it must be there

for I’ve heard

it’s vile roar.

I can smell

it’s putrid odor,

for it lingers

in the air.

Mommy!

There’s a monster!

Mommy?

Are you there?

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Reviews

May 25, 2009

secretdustbunnies

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
9	88.9% (9 votes)	13.6%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
16	F	United States	June 19

secretdustbunnies reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I kind of loved it. To say the least. Not sure about your other pieces, but this one si stronger, because didn’t expect it to rhyme. I like how its aimed at older adults (mommy are you there?) but has the voie of an innocent child. Well done. For se\ome reason my comp. wouldn’t let me read the ending either?

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April 24, 2009

Wigmo

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
95	64.3% (56 votes)	31.9%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
22	M	Springfield, MO	July 28

Wigmo reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

If my computer would have let me read the second page of this poem I’m sure I would have loved it. Although I’m sure you could have fit the entire poem on one page, oh well.

As for publishing though I don’t really know what kind of audience you’re going for. If for children I think evil presence might push away a few parents. But either than that I loved it.