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Novel Treatments / Shokkou Raid Scene

"Wha... What are you?", the criminal shrieked.

"Well, some call us bandits. Others call us terrorists. But we, we call ourselves revolutionaries.", Kumori replied, " So prepare to die villain, for your acts are a crime against our new world. In the name of the Shokkou, DIE!!!!!" Kumori obliterated the criminals body sending it into the black oblivion of time.

"It is time we show the world we mean business. In the name of God, we take back the earth!", Kumori shouted.

"Hooooraaaah!", the other twelve Shokkou cheered.

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Reviews

April 27, 2009

FrakKevin

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
1489	73.9% (575 votes)	33.0%

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
20	M	Charleston, SC	November 22

FrakKevin reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

use terrorists-us

pretty cool so far…trim down your criteria though..three is enough. It’s coming off very anime, but it would be a little cool if this takes place during modern times. I would like to see you characters battling against the military and ordinary citizens. It’ll be a little more edgier.

add/view comments (1)

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
15	53.8% (13 votes)	6.2%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
14	M	United States	September 10

April 27, 2009

DallasS

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
38	77.8% (18 votes)	11.0%

personal info reviewer stats

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
13	M	United States	October 17

DallasS reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Very strong opening. Need some grammer/spelling overlooks. You have a good strong storyline opening. You could take this many ways. I’d like to this written from a couple different viewpoints. They’ve just taken back the Earth- I would say you finish one version with what they do with Earth, but that’s just my opinion.