Poetry / the eternal fight

Wow, you plopped the grand canyon between each line . . . I like it!  That’s a good start I think.  In poetry, so many people fail to do anything with the position of the words/sentences.  

The second line, you should probably change “fell” to fallen.

“Join we. join we”?  I know you’re trying to rhyme here but this doesn’t sound right.  Use the rhyming dictionary to find something else. There is one, online, I swear!

What I’ve mentioned above are about the only things I see that need correcting.  I like the idea of someone standing on a precipice, bleeding, balanced between one end or another.  But the words you’ve chosen in those two sentences are off I think.  

You could probably put more into it, but by using your format you’d take up another three pages :)  Don’t change the format, it works.

I like this, I feel the strong emotion of right and wrong and good and bad from this. I think you need to add some punctuation to this to give it a smoother flow. Good work however. =]