Horror / Blasphemy
Here, a familiar voice began in his mind, you will reign.
Dormant memories rekindled.
Kashin was hovering above the city he had entered hours earlier. The sun bore down on him, hot against his back, but did not ignite his flesh. From its light, he had a clear view of the city that spread for several miles below him. He recognized the city as the ancient fortress of King Menes, the capital from which Menes once ruled the conquered people of Lower Egypt.
Ineb Hedj will be yours, the voice continued.
In a sudden blaze of illumination, the city was consumed and Kashin was blinded. When the light had died enough for him to open his eyes, he found himself in the cave where he had first met Taure. The light doubled back on itself like a wave and retreated to the cavern’s center. Taure stood in a corner of the poorly-lit dome, half-concealed by darkness. Her lips were visible, but did not move as she spoke.
You are separated from the world of men, but you will exist alongside them. Your kingdom will be one of predators and of shadow. Your subjects will prey upon the spirits of mankind, but never openly. To risk the light of the sun is death and to risk the light of exposure will be your undoing. Stay to the kingdom I have given you and reap vengeance in My name.
He could feel Taure watching him as a familiar doll stepped from the shadows and took its place alongside her feet. It stared up at him, pain visible within its eyes. A ripple passed through the dream world and the scene began to fragment and vanish. In seconds, only the doll’s eyes were left, then nothing.
###
Remmao’s home was dark, but the air still carried the faint scents of smoke and burning wax. Kashin sat on the edge of his bed watching Mshai sleep. Despite the lack of light, he found he had no trouble seeing. His sight, like his other senses, had heightened drastically since rebirth.
Standing and drawing his scimitar, he took care to remain silent as he walked to his companion’s side. He placed the blade to Mshai’s neck and with a steady hand slit it, nearly severing the head. Mshai’s eyes and mouth opened, as if to cry out in pain, but nothing but a wet gurgle came. Blood bubbled in the hollow of what remained of his throat.
Kashin placed one hand on Mshai’s chest and the other over his mouth, pressing his head to the dying man‘s chest, monitoring the beat of his failing heart. He waited until the corpse had ceased spasming before rising and cleaning his hands on his robe. Retrieving his weapon, he exited the room.
The walls and floors of the hall were bare. While Remmao displayed his wealth on the main floor, the sleeping quarters were minimally furnished. Privacy carpets hung over the doors and the guest bedroom contained nothing but two beds and a chest for storage.
Remmao’s tour had not included his personal quarters, but Kashin found that like most merchants he was a miser whenever possible and his chamber was no better than the guest room. The ornate carpet masking the room’s contents was the only item of worth. While made from wood, a rarity for most Egyptian households, the bed and the chest at its base were simple-made and unadorned.
Remmao lay on his back in bed, eyes open wide and his face fixed in a state of terror. Curling its hair around its fingers, Taure’s doll sat atop his chest, staring at Kashin and grinning. He was dead beneath her.
The smell of burning flesh reached Kashin’s nose even before Remmao’s chest collapsed, the sides pulled inward. A cloud of ash and skin fragments, some still glowing, billowed from inside his chest, concealing the doll as it toppled backwards and vanished over the edge of the bed. Kashin nearly fell as it dashed between his legs and into the hall.
Chasing the doll would be pointless. Sunlight was beginning to penetrate the shutters and exiting the house would be suicide. Kashin hoped that no visitors would come and knew, faintly, that Taure would see to it that they didn’t. So long as he surrendered himself to her bidding, he doubted there was much that could oppose him.
If only I didn’t have to surrender my freedom.
Dropping his sword, he approached Remmao’s smoldering remains and curled onto the bed next to them, breathing in the musky-sweet smell of burning cerebrospinal fluid, barely detectable over the sulfuric scent of charred hair. He closed his eyes and rested his head against his benefactor’s ashen shoulder.
By the grace of his goddess, Remmao’s home and fortune—even his soul—were now Kashin‘s.
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“When the light had died…” omit had?
“Her lips were visible, but did…” ‘but’ doesn’t really tie these two ideas together; I suggest, “Her lips were visible and did not…”
”...but nothing but a wet…” this repetition distracted me.
”...contained nothing but…” contained only??
“like most merchants” If this is in American English, you need a comma on either side of this ‘interruption’.
”...musky-sweet smell of burning cerebrospinal fluid…” this is an awfully specific scenting. I know ancient Egyptians were great with anatomy and all; but did they really have a specific term for ‘cerebrospinal fluid’ or does Kashin have a specific reason to smell it? If not, then consider something else that would be strong and distinct (and common, therefore the reader can relate), like maybe flesh or meat.
Extremely entertaining read; very well polished and written. I like the style you have chosen; it is very straightforward, not trying to build suspense unnecessarily. But this was a great teaser. It definitely has me curious as to what happened, what Kashin is, what Taure did to him and what is going on; so it isn’t as if there was no suspense; it just didn’t feel fake or forced. Well done, there.
My initial reaction is that Kashin has a great burden, a conflict within – on one hand, what’s happening is great, and on the other, it sucks. A dilemma. I do hope you build on both sides of that, allowing the narrative this dry, monotone, dark side but still allotting for triumph and greatness (and what may pass as) happiness at times. The MC seems torn; I would like to see some of the other side as well.
Have you posted more from this?
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