Poetry / I studied your eyes

I studied your eyes

I’ve seen your eyes bulge,
Like a breast full of milk.
They danced around loves vision,
Rooting them to the tong it’s self.
Loosening at your lovers mention
Like a balloon slacking of its mount.

Then I starred into his dull cloudy domes
Pupils like yoke,
Sliding around the thick stone plate of his face
Waiting for electrodes to burst the gooeyness
You sliver in.

Blue /green/ icy pale stars.
That empty their spheres of aqua’s,
As if every word spoken, coursed them to blink.
Their lids pressed down on there meaning-
Refilling their colure-with the delight of understanding.

Eyes sharp as foxes whiskers
Twittering with a delicate sense of danger,
As white as this page-poised on storks
a faint light a sneeze would snuff out.
Wide as a rivers mouth-history locked behind them.

Tied spring of sight
Raw lids-fraying tips of lashes
Blinking on the last breathes
The world has concluded his ideas
New images film across sallow whites
Like water across wax.

Eyes shapely meeting at perfect points
Smouldering vacuum of laver
Dragging yoke eyes across
Her furnace of lust.
 

Reviews

July 01, 2009

oknapp

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47	F	Salem, IN	November 21

oknapp reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

As white as this page-poised on storks. i would like for you to expound on this image because i am  not sure i got it.

When you studied her eyes how did they remind you of breasts full of milk. I would have enjoyed a description
Like breasts full of milk
Waiting to suckle the truth from their engorged
mounds…or something edgy like this.

Rooting them to the tong it’s self. i know what you are saying but the “tongs” threw me a little. Can you make this image a little plainer

Besides jadedpoet, you are my favorite poet. You bring images alive and the words you use to describe your visions are briliant because they paint a picture of beauty and depth within the readers mind. I think you make a few of your images clearer. I have named them above. The fifth stanza was awesome. It was put together beautifully. The images jumped off the page. The last stanza showed a perfect ending. Overall,very striking and powerful. Sandi

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