Flash Fiction / The Muse.

Interesting how the muse is presented as physically arriving at the persons home and showing that even an immortal can become overwhelmed, very cool, though it does get confusing in the style that it is written maybe every so many lines you could identify the speaker so the reader may keep track of who’s who.

You get your line order mixed up sometimes (I’m assuming this is a one line to one line conversation). Example:

“Guy: CV?
Muse: Yes,
Guy: Oh.
Muse: What?
Guy: I’m sorry.
Muse: What? What happens?
Guy: You see, I am a regular Muse. Like Muse for writing letters, stories, novels. But for CV, I myself use the CV Muse.” – Edited for clarity.

Change this or it makes no sense.

Consider skipping (thinking in progress) and all the dashes. Typo – ‘inner’ richness.

I’m not too sure what ‘lines of abundance’ are. I’ve had a look on Google and it all looks very complicated.

‘inner richness’- spellcheck

so this is ‘muse’ as in a power that inspires poets and authors? I had to look this up as well- can you clarify that as part of the story?

‘but for CV’- wouldn’t this be ‘but for CVs’? Or, ‘for my CV’?

We have to take the Muse’s word for it at the end. Interesting, but I wondered if there was more.

Interesting format- we only get descriptions of audio. You might want to check out some of ‘Gates of Eden’, an anthology by Ethan Coen. Some of his stories are sound-only, as if made for audio tapes.

What struck me first is the structure.  It is interesting the story is punctuated by (thinking in progress…).  

The idea is pretty clever but I am not sure if it works in this format. I would re-write it as a 10 minute play.  Instead of images or scene this story is reliant upon dialog and what amounts to stage directions…it’s practically a play already.  

If you choose to keep it as a flash fiction, I think you need to stop and take the time to give us things to see.  What do these characters look like?. A little setting, and instead of stage directions we’d need gestures, facial expressions, etc.

“-Yeh, yeh. Did you try to live on Muse salary? It’s impossible. I have to work other jobs too.”

I love the idea of the muse as a regular person who has to make a living.  It is very humorous an has lots of promise.

“Mmmm… (Coughing strongly)”

This is a little unclear. Why is the man coughing?

-Did she really? What a clever girl… “

Why would the muse say this, and what does she mean by it?

-I promise that if you will take my help, the critics won’t be able to say anything bad about your writing.

Why does the Muse want to help him after criticizing him?

-So, this is the way Muse works!”

I am not sure how the Muse is benefiting from this arrangement, and also how does a muse work?

It’s an interesting premise.  Good luck.  I stand by what I said before. Making it into a play is your best bet.

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July 04, 2009

by jakuper

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Thank you.

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This is a very interesting idea. It reminds me a little of Neil Gaiman’s novel “American Gods,” which, if you’re not familiar with it, is about foreign gods (such as the Norse gods) who came to America with early immigrants and had to learn to survive in an alien environment in which they were not worshipped.

I think you meant “writing critiques” not “writing critics.” I didn’t understand the “lines of abundance.” It seemed to be a joke; I guess I didn’t get it. I think you meant “the critics won’t be able to say anything bad” not “something bad.” I have the feeling English isn’t your first language. Overall though I think this is an amusing idea and you just need to refine the writing a bit and perhaps come up with a stronger ending.