Poetry / For My Love (Analysis)

I’m rokie in English language but I can feel like your poem sounds very good. Well writen have your own creative structure  and nice flow. And, the most important:It’s from the heart.
Keep writing!
Congratulations!

I understand that this is a poem you texted on your phone, but possibly, you should consider changing the “u”s and “ur”s to “you” and “You’re”s and “jus” I am guessing is “just”? If that isn’t what you are going for and you think the “u” and the “ur” works, than maybe you should think about titling your poem “sexting all my love” or something clever that has to do with abbreviating really short words.

Cute. In a goofy sort of soft way.

If you wanna make it publishable, make ur your and jus just etc.
I like it. It’s very descriptive sexually, so it has to be used for an older crowd, but I like. Personally, I would have laughed and then accepted the apology. Good work.

I can see this one being very good for a situation like you mention. The words are very familiar and they are words that people love to have said to them. On the other hand the words have been used before a million times. Its a challenge to write a unique love poem. I think it comes from reading lots of poetry or books in general and studying the craft or the mechanics of it then putting your character and personality into it.

It’s cute, good for the purpose you used if for.  I know the “u” and “ur” is probably there because it was in a text, but I suggest changing that if you plan on redrafting this.

The form is interesting; I think I’d keep that – /’s as if it’s being quoted in another text. The U’s & Ur’s can work – almost gives the feeling of text messaging – but don;t overdo it – i think ‘kno’ is going a bit far. Could use more specifics – who is s/he, who is the speaker, etc. Also, I’d replace things like ‘Got ur name on my heart’ with non-cliches.

As a tool to achieve your ends, I can see how it might work.  Good job.

However, as poetry, it falls quite short.  It really is more the stuff of song lyrics as it is constructed almost entirely of cliche phrases.  Every line except the one about hickies is as such.  The hickies line doesn’t work either,  not because it’s too vulgar for poetry, but because the phrasing is too informal and the tone immature.

If you want to take this any further, my suggestion is to pursue it as a rap or some other form of song lyric.

It sounds very simple, however it is a good attempt at getting someone back with the easiest of words. But for the meaning behind it I suppose it is sweet.