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Humor/Satire / An ongoing battle
Travis: leahcim,ti seog woh
Mike: WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THESE SHENANIGANS! THERE'S A FORTUNE TO BE MADE OUT THERE HARVESTIN' PORK BELLIES! GET TEW EET!
Travis: Pork Bellies...? don't be ridiculous. Porno is where the real money is at. Pork Bellies are as expendable as so many used condoms left on the shag carpet of a seedy Las Vegas hotel room. Pork penis is soft and fleshy. it looks like a corkscrew. you smell like a corckscrew. I shall call you micheal Corckscrew in homage to your beastial heritage. and there will be a national day of Pork Dick appreciation and your people will have a parade. just like that mike, all your dreams have come true. you get to be in a parade and have a penis at the same time. albeit, a bizzare pig penis shaped like a corckscrew. congratulations. your dick is a mutant freak. you make sure he knows that all through kindergarten so that all the other dicks will pick up on his secret undercurrent of self-confidence issues and treat him like the gnarled freak that he is.
Mike: corkscrews? Those died out with disco and acid! Back in the hey day we could sell our misshappen penis' for a pretty penny and not have the fuzz on our asses! Now look at it.... Everywhere you gander at it's rhinoplastey this and histerechtomy that! It's a damn shame is what it is I'll tell yeh... No one has any decency to just pull their tallywacker out and start beating off like the depraved monkeys they are....
Travis: hush now, child. this is no time to be talking about fuzz on your ass and depraved monkeys. we're at war, damn it. Its time to be serious. Also (fuzz on your ass + depraved monkey= Ape porn themed issue of national geographic. big money. all the lawyers in ten gallon hats will want a copy. send it to the newpapers if you get a chance). By the way. your little diatribe needs some correction: 1)disco and acid never died, it only BECAME drag queens and crystal meth. I'm working on a formula for it. but i need the fossils of Donna Summer. for purposes of verification. 2)Only a cum guzzling fascist would sell his misshapen penis for a PRETTY penny. I accept pennies regardless of appearance. I love them all equally.(Verbally Speaking) 3)I can't pull my tallywhacker out and start beating it like a monkey because you always bitch about how close you were to blowing a hot sticky load all over your spandex bathing suit. that being said, I think you know what needs to be discussed. on a scale of one to ten.... how glorious do you find my penis? I know that its not as twisted and pork like as your own, but I really need to know because i'm worried about his image within the media. is the wild unshaven forest of pubes look to dated and retro or should I just commit to it and pull it out in those moments of debonair perversion that will come to be associated with the obama presidency. by the way, did you notice how black history month went by tottally unnoticed and unmetioned, I guess fox news decided they've had their fifteen minutes of fame for this year.
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Okay, if this is really a conversation you and your buddy had, you guys are weird.
Having said that, sometimes you can’t just paste a true story verbatim and have it work in text. You really need to clean it up a bit. Grammatical & spelling errors and run-on sentences aside, this is just a rambling diatribe with little actual humor. There’s very little focus. It essentially boils down to two guys going, “You’re gay!” “Nuh-uh! YOU’RE gay!”
Also, it’s very, very crass. Now, I’m not opposed to the occasional salty talk, but it should serve a purpose of expressing some form of social commentary, otherwise it’s just obscenities for obscenities sake. Occasionally it does appear you’re talking about something social, but again, you hit so many topics in such a short span, it has little to no impact.
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