Lyrics / Black Oak

whatever you do
you'll always be solid as a great black oak
in an ice cube trap
filling empty coloring books up with 1s and 0s
pretending to steal antlers from a caribou's head
hurtling the red severed wings of a bi-plane toward an escaped horizon
tumbling hard and fast without disdain or regret
into a bone mash bloodsucking whirlpool
unconditional critical bedpan deadman
insides on the outside
but whatever you do, you'll always be solid as a great black oak

calm as a burnt down forest
asleep on your back
naked with a coloring book covering your chest in a bed of ash
catch everyone smiling and scream at everyone, no exit
catch yourself smiling and scream at everyone, no exit

the tree you dreamed at 8 and a half is damming up your stomach's climb
i can see water seeping from your forehead
everywhere you stand i see puddles

you can't cut an undeniable force
with silence on high
more last legs than i can touch death's slow fucking finger with
you just put a metal fork in the microwave and drank from the skull of a wild boar
fill an empty cantelope up with movie tickets
and ate the samples that hit the hardest
and played marco polo with a swordfish
you'll always find houseflies wearing dollar bills for shirts dead in hot dog water while you're talking yourself into something

all the major museums in the world have crates of fossils lying in the basement

find yourself
swimming in mud
under a pack of hungry wolves in a cold tank
broke through the ice
kicking their legs
trying to find a hold on as the galloping grey clouds scramble
to cover an open blue spot of eternity
this raps on current affairs
we have no undiscovered islands in the pits of our all enveloping stocks
we have no undiscovered islands in the pits of our all enveloping stocks

stocks.
 

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atlasdrugged avatar General Friend

September 30, 2009

atlasdrugged Prolific-icon-medium

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atlasdrugged reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

“and played marco polo with a sword fish”. dude. once again, great writing. I adore the imagery you have going on here. still wish I could hear it to music, though. that might blow my mind. once again, you’re marvelous.
thanks for the read.
-Lauren

Jeannine avatar General Stranger

September 05, 2009

Jeannine

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
Jeannine reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

This reminds me a little of Christian Morgenstern’s nonsense poetry. I like it and for some strange reason it kind of makes sense. The only thing I would say though is that the F word failed its purpose. It does not “shock” it merely feels out of place and annoying. The rest of the song is full of clever, vivid imagery and then you lower yourself to profanity. That doesn’t work for me. Apart from that, well done!

sassybill avatar General Friend

July 28, 2009

sassybill

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sassybill reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

you can’t cut an undeniable force
with silence on high

- I feel like after these lines the lyrics take a completely different direction, it’s almost like something else entirely.  You give good imagery throughout, but I’m not sure how I like some of the wordings in the second half (i.e.  ”fill an empty cantelope up with movie tickets” and “you’ll always find houseflies wearing dollar bills for shirts dead in hot dog water while you’re talking yourself into something”)  These lines feel forced to me compared to the rest of the work.

Not bad overall, I’m wondering what this would sound like to music, and who the vocalist would sound like.

sagittarius1212 avatar General Stranger

July 23, 2009

sagittarius1212

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sagittarius1212 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I am sorry I just do not get all of this..I understand that this person lives in a perhaps delusional state that they have created for themselve and which(I guess) works perfectly well for them and that you (the writer) has total disdain for this person?!?

The clarity, imagery, and flow all fell a little short for me. I would suggest using different descriptive words, but then again maybe its just me.

Donna

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Stumblesome avatar

Stumblesome

Age: 26
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Gen: M
Last Login: November 14
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Version 1
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