Sci Fi & Fantasy / Beyond The Dreams - Chapter 12
The view of the lake spread in front of her eyes. She would have never imagined that such a peaceful place existed. Everything looked in the right place, beautiful in its own way. The water undulated slowly, reforming the reflection of the moon on its unstable surface. Silence ruled around her except for the occasional hollowing of an owl.
The almost imperceptible move of air as the bay glass pane slid on its track made her turn her head. Erin walked out, nonchalant. She detailed him for the first time as he sat in the next levachair. His hair was dark, cut to his cheekbone. His features were smooth, less harsh that his father’s square chin. His hazelnut eyes were innocent, reassuring.
“Alright, I went through the house. We should be fully independent. The set up is the same as in the City; we don’t really have to worry about a thing. The Screens as online and there are multiple accesses to foods and other supplies.” He finally noticed her eyes on him. “So, what do you think so far?”
“Well, I think I am going to like it here.”
“Great. I was worried you may be a little freaked out by all this.” He said, waving his hands around.
“Oh, I am…freaked out…but it will get better, I know it will.”
Erin turned his eyes on the lake, thinking. After a few minutes, he turned back to Axia, hands together, slid up to the edge of the chair, forearm on his knees, forehead wrinkled:
“There is something you need to know. There is a lot for you to learn here. It is kind of a crash course on life. It won’t be easy. There are many things that you will probably not agree with, some that may not have any sensible reasons for existing.”
“Erin, I have been trained to learn.” She answered, stung.
“Yes you have; but you have been raised with only one goal in mind, with every waking moment as a purposeful action towards that one goal, fighting. You have been made impersonal. You need to learn who you really are. You do not know that yet, I assure you.”
“I know what I am.” She answered defensively.
“You see, that is what I am talking about. You are not an “it”, you are a “who” just like me.” He said as he pointed as his chest. “Life is not about a duty. It is about knowing yourself, loving yourself and fulfilling what you want. Once you understand that, it will be easier for you to understand everything else.”
Axia turned her gaze away, not wanting Erin to see the tears rising at the corner of her eyes.
“You need to forgive yourself Axia, and above all, you need to move on. The future is not made from the past; it is only aided by the past if you know how to look at it right in the first place.” He stood silently. Axia was still looking away as he went back inside, leaving her to ponder on his words. She had so much to learn. The way the System worked and all of the technological things were only the tip of the iceberg.
He knew he had upset her. He also knew a lot more tears would come out of her until she finally accepted herself. She had to learn how to master her emotions and for that, he had to make her face them.
#
She heard him right away, stood up, embarrassed, looking left and right like an animal trying to find an escape. He grinned:
“Calm down Axia, it’s not a problem. I am guessing laying flat was not your thing after all. How was the levachair however?” He asked, nodding to the chair Axia had jumped out of.
“M…much more comfortable thank you.” She stumbled on her words, looking down to realize she was clenching down to the comforter she had stolen from the bed. She quickly threw it back to the chair.
He turned around, seemingly satisfied by her answer, walking to the kitchen. His voice sounded distant:
“I’m glad. Whatever works for you is fine with me. I just hope one day you will enjoy a nice bed. There is nothing better than the best flowshaper.” He appeared back in the hall, a glass in each hand. He handed her one, sipping from his. She looked at it incredulously.
“It’s just water.”
She looked up at him, feeling ridiculous. She was just not used to someone being so nice to her. She started drinking too.
“What is the plan for today?” She asked.
“The plan? Well, you tell me. It is your choice really.”
Axia took a big gulp of water, almost choking on it as she heard his words.
“Yes ‘mam. This is your education, your life. You tell me what you want to do.”
He had expected her to want to follow his ideas. That was too much like in the Community. Now it was her turn to take her existence in her own hands.
#
Her hand slid down, hanging on side of the chair. Her head was resting on a plush pillow, blanket covering her to her hips. Erin could not prevent himself from looking at her. She looked so peaceful when she slept; but he knew very well that was only ephemeral. A couple of days had elapsed since their arrival and she had already learned most of the day to day knowledge. She had spent hours and hours on the Computaplex, scanning trough the immensity of file repertory of the Universal Database. He had sat with her, observing the myriad of reactions exposed on her features as she read on. She had tried vainly to hide them but he had read her like an open book. She had had a lot of questions, particularly concerning the Games. That had been the first subject she had browsed through and he could understand her reasons. She had been surprised and angry when she discovered that the arena she had fought in was only one parcel of the myriad of games put on by the System. Children, animals, space…so many environments, so many rules and so much death and violence. There were the fights, the hunts, the torture; the sensual offerings… only one notion mastered them all: vice.
She had walked out to the balcony then, silent. He had left her alone, knowing that this was one of the hardest parts of her learning. She had to put all that behind her. It was an intricate part of the System; she had to dissociate herself unless she wanted to see herself consumed by it.
A few hours later, she had come to him, calm and resolved. That was then that she had asked him about his life and his role in the System. That had taken him aback. He had not expected her to wonder about that but could understand in away why she was asking him.
He had explained to her how his life had been until then. How his father had taught him since his youngest age that the lack of bond between them was essential to his preservation; how he had learned to hide his true self from Sfax; his role as a future precursor in the fight; his real feelings about the situation…she had smiled then. That reaction was so strange to Axia’s features and yet so beautiful. It erased any hardness, any worry in her eyes. He had wondered at her smile. Reading his mind she had told him that in a way, they were similar, caught up in a situation without an escape, doing things that either one of them had wanted to do, and that he, Erin, had been right, life was worth a lot more than fighting. Their presence here was a proof of that as they had both finally escaped. She had left, still smiling, content, to sit back in front of the Computaplex, leaving him haggard. She had showed him there, how quick of a learner she really was.
Erin yawned, realizing he was still standing in front of her chair, staring at her. Softly, he grabbed her hand, tugging it under the blanket. The Contact of her skin was strange but pleasant. He pulled his hand back quickly, as if something had bitten him under the blanket. Their exchanges had been very neutral, friendly at most. He had made a conscious effort, getting into his role as a guide, to forget about the Juminex theory. He was not here for that. He was taking life day by day just like her.
He set his eyes on her immobile shape one last time, sighed heavily before walking away.
#
She laughed for the first time. It was beyond a smile, much more than a grin which she had already experienced many times before. It busted out of her, uncontrollable, before she could even realize what was happening. Erin was just as surprised by it as she was herself. Her eyes set on his as she laughed. He looked confused for a second but quickly his eyes softened up as he joined in. It encouraged her to let it go, not restraining herself in anyway. She could not stop it. It felt so good, so raw, liberating; but eventually, she rolled to the floor, holding her tight and sore stomach.
Their laughs died slowly, and they were both still smiling at the end of it. It was only then that she took notice of the wetness on her cheek, the overwhelming sense of well-being in the deepest corners of her core. It took over her, submerging her soul as tears came pearling on her chin, to die off on the grass, drops of pure ecstasy.
She felt Erin’s touch on her shoulder and did not startle as she had in the past.
“Are you alright?” Concern in his voice.
She smiled at him.
“Yes. I am not sure what is happening to me but it feels good.”
He grinned amused.
“Well miss; you have experienced your first all out laughter. It was long overdue if you ask me.”
He brought his hand back to his side. She still felt the warmth of his fingers on her shoulders and almost missed his contact.
She rose on her elbow, wiping her tears, self-conscious.
“Is it normal to cry so much? I am becoming so wimpy.” She grimaced as she said the last word.
“That will change once you get control over all those emotions you have locked away for so long.” He smiled at her, reassuring.
“Okay. Now give me the receiver. My turn.” She stuck her hand out to him.
He feigned not giving it to her before finally handing her the simulator controller.
“Let us see if you can deal with this.” She pointed the remote, a grotesque form appearing in front of them.
#
The sand was moist and cool. The soles of her feet sank slightly on the natural surface. Her steps left a temporary trail behind her, quickly recessing back to an unaltered smoothness. Axia stopped at the edge of the water, the slow waves creeping close to her toes. Axia remained still a few minutes, focusing on the light sound of the water, enjoying the warmth of the sun on her face. She closed her eyes, stepped forward. The cold of the lake heightened her senses, tingling her skin. She kept on until the water reached her waist, plunged forward, submerging the rest of her body. She swam deeper, moving towards the colder water of the lake bed, pushing further until her lungs stung, threatening to explode. She finally pierced the surface, gasping for air, laughing, exhilarated by the assailing sensation.
“Enjoying yourself?”
She turned to face the shore, now thirty feet away.
“As a matter of fact, I am.” She answered, grinning.
Erin’s cheeks looked flushed, his breathing heavy. That made her grin wider.
“So I guess I won the bet…”
He shrugged kicking his shoes off,.
“I guess so…”
He raised his head to look at her, smiling as he made his way through the water to where she was.
“Now that really feels good.”
He started to float on his back, looking up at the sky. She imitated him, losing her thoughts in the blue vastness.
“So, is that how the world really is? All those emotions, all those sensations?”
He remained silent for a few seconds, thoughtful. His tone was bitter, a side of him she had not yet discovered.
“Yes and no. Some people do not, some do. It all depends on one’s outlook. One can choose to listen to what the world has to offer, others close-up, making-up their own priorities, attributing value to thing that would normally not shelter any…that is exactly what the System encourages. It calls to the wrong, to the vice, the cheat, the desires, expending them exponentially, making them irresistible, necessary and addictive.”
His tone had evolved to anger. She had not meant for him to get that way.
“Thank you.”
He turned his head slightly, looking at her at the corner of his eyes, puzzled.
“I didn’t mean to stir things up, I am sorry. I am still new to all this. It is amazing to be able to ask questions and actually have truthful answers.” She paused for a second. “I just wanted to thank you for walking me through all this; I know it can’t be easy to teach me everything that you have always known as a constant. You must be one of the most patient person out there…and…”
Splash. She blinked, wiping the water off her face with one of her hands.
“What…”
Splash again. More water this time. She switched her weight, lowering her body, her trunk now vertical.
“Let’s see if you can beat me in the water as well as you can on foot,” he taunted her.
And he was gone in a crawl, strokes following perfect swimming technique. Axia felt herself giggle. Did he really think he could beat her? In a way, she was glad he had relaxed the built-up tension
She followed his wake, butterfly style, slowly gaining back the distance separating them. As she reached his side, he augmented his speed, fish tailing her, forcing her to stop short as he stepped in front of her.
“Alright, alright, we both know you are going to win and one humiliation is enough for one day.”
She looked at him, feigning suspicion.
“Oh come on, I give up alright, don’t…”
Splash. His eyes were surprised, almost obfuscated, saying “no you did not.”
Understanding his thoughts, she splashed him again and grinned.
“Ok I had it coming. We’re even now.”
Splash, splash, splash. She winked, slowly moving away from him, taunting.
“You can run but you cannot hide miss. I will find you.”
“Wanna bet?” She answered.
#
He had taken his wet shirt off, uncovering the injury. The wounds were not deep but stung as the salt water had entered them. Her nails had dug in his shoulders, pricking his skin with moon- shaped gashes. He was awkwardly trying to reach his right shoulder when she stepped in the kitchen. She stopped at the threshold, taken aback by his half nakedness. She could not prevent herself from detailing his back, the smooth skin tight against the muscles knotting his shoulders, so much power she had never noticed before…she quickly looked away, not sure of what to make of her interest.
She remembered he was still struggling to care of his wounds and felt a pinch of amusement at his desperate attempts but the hint of a smile on her lips vanished as she focused back on the gashes. It had all happened so fast. She had not felt it coming. They had been playing in the water, casually, when, instead of pushing him playfully in the water as Axia had intended to, the beast had taken control, with no pre-emptive hint, clawing him in the back. He had faced her, shocked. With a great amount of effort she had screamed:
“….Leave….now!”
It took him a few seconds, but he had finally walked away, trusting her. She had finally regained control, burying the evil consciousness.
Sensing her eyes on him, he turned to face her; an innocent grin stretched his lips, his eyes guilty.
“I have to say, muscles do not help with flexibility, you will probably have to help me with that. Not all of us are ambidextrous like some.”
He frowned as he finally noticed her stunned features.
“You don’t mind, do you? There is…”
She walked towards him, blushing slightly. She had first been horrified by the wounds. She knew what had happened but seeing his back, his perfect skin gashed because of her had vivified her guilt. Then, she had been stunned by the beauty of his body, his chest flat, as carved as an ancient Athenian sculpture, smooth and flawlessly proportionate. She grabbed the antigen-and-seal pen. Her eyes went to the floor as she fumbled on her words:
“No, not at all, that is the least I can do after what…”
He turned to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. Only now was she aware of the proximity of their bodies. She did not look at him. She lost herself in that touch for a moment. Her eyes meeting his, she could feel the warmth of the soul behind them.
“Hey, we knew this would not be easy. You are making a lot of progress, give yourself a break, I know I am.”
He was right, she had to be patient. She was just too used to things coming easily to her in the past, but that had been what she had been created for, not all this. This was new, unnatural for her.
“You’re right. She came through so suddenly…”
“We’ll remediate to that you’ll see. You are stronger than her, I know it.”
His optimism never seemed to falter. He turned his back on her, chatting lightheartedly.
“It’s easy. Just roll the red tip on the wounds. It will be absorbed by the tissues, killing any germ that may have been introduced. Then flip the pen over, that will seal the wound, cauterizing the edges, fastening granulation and preventing any further contamination.”
She followed his instructions and put the pen down on the counter, not wanting to risk another contact with his skin by handing him the pen. He turned back to face her.
“Thanks! I would have never been able to reach it. Now, what next? Some more Knowledge Database?”
He smiled encouragingly. White teeth. She shrugged, smiling back.
#
Axia had analyzed the instances over and over and felt that she had exhausted everything there was to get out of them. She did not like to think about the few instances during which her parallel personality had emerged since she had been freed. It reminded her too much of her past, of her inadequacy in this present life.
Erin kept on cheering her on. He said she was getting better and he was right. The beast was becoming easier and easier to repel. Once, she had hurt him, but since then, she had always been able to overthrow the control. The beast came on less strong and remained short amount of time. It was no longer able to control Axia’s body as she automatically focused on submerging it back within herself at the first glimpses of its coming. She had had to think hard about her body’s reaction in order to identify the signs of the beast. A couple of times, Erin had even provoked her, against Axia’s opinion, in order for both of them to confront it. Axia realized now that it had been necessary as, in order to defeat, you had to understand your enemy.
She had come such a long way. There was not much left unexplored. She had gone over most of the key part of the Universe’s history, focusing on the period when the System had been installed. She knew everything there was to know about society and its ranks. She did not really know where she would get a position but she was not worried about it. Erin had offered his help to help her get set back up in the City and how grateful she was, he could not imagine.
He had done so much for her. Now that she understood the System, she realized fully the amount of sacrifices he had burned through by not following his father’s wish. He had not wanted to kill her, that had been one thing, but it had been another one to flee with her. She still wondered why he had done it. She could not imagine Sfax would have tried to hurt his own son other than financially and vis-à-vis of the System. At the same time, Axia felt she should know better. Erin had talked about his father extensively and he seemed to be the perfect product of the System.
They had discovered so much of themselves and of each other. He had taught her everything; changed her outlook on her life. The memories that peopled her mind had lost some of their sadness and defiance. She accepted her emotions, her joys, her surprises, her fears…she allowed everything to pass through her…even those feelings she felt for Erin. She did not really know what to do with them. She knew that she felt at peace, content when he was around. She missed his presence when he was not with her. He seemed to make everything brighter…but how could she tell him? She did not really know how to define what she felt. Even if she could, how would he take it? He had done enough for her. There was no reason for him to feel the same way. She was nothing special, a retired slave. She had done things that he himself despised, like killing. He had never made her feel inadequate. He had accepted all of her, taking in everything she had said. He was so respectful, was that all that had been, respect?
#
Erin and she had just finished playing a rudimentary ball game. Once again, she had won.
Heat gradually reached her limbs, rising in her torso, electrifying the atmosphere around her. The hair on her arms rose, static. She dropped to the ground, sitting on her heels. Her breathing quickened. She saw Erin still walking on, having not realized what had happened.
“Ok hot shot. I guess I am cooking tonight. What would you like?”
She extended an arm, wanting to stop him but quickly brought her hand back to her lap, gasping, not being able to talk, focusing on her mind. It was coming once again. She had felt its first itch within her. She concentrated on her breathing, in, out, in, out.
Not getting an answer, he turned his head where he had last seen Axia.
“Axia, what are you…”
The Erin finally stopped in his track, now all too familiar with what was happening. He ran back to her, sitting facing her, knees in the dirt.
“Come on, you can do it!”
His eyes were full of contagious hope. Didn’t he know how dangerous it was for him to be that close to her right now?
She closed her eyes, hands flat on her lap. She focused on her heart beats, lowering her rising blood pressure. The feel of the breeze on her face, the scent of musk emanating from the trees helped her hold on to her consciousness. Erin advanced his hands, covering hers, giving her one more sensation to focus on. He whispered, knowing she could hear him:
“Remember who you are. Remember the present. Forget the past and the memories. Do not be afraid. Anger can be rejected. Hold on to reality…”
Slowly, she opened her eyes back up. The tension had fallen, and with it the beast.
“Now that’s better.” He smiled sadly.
Tenderly, brushing her cheek, he tugged a loose strand of auburn hair behind her ear. Time stopped in that single movement, their eyes anchored, scanning one another... The instant stretched. Erin had a hard time believing that this angelic face could shelter such a demonic alter ego.
“You did it once again! She did not come through and you rejected it pretty fast. Good job!”
She had trouble sharing his enthusiasm. She knew he was right in a way, she would have just hoped it would never try to come back ever again. He stood, supporting her as she rose.
“Do you think there will be a point where it will never come back?”
“I don’t think, I know. You have been pushing it back more and more effectively. Its attempts are getting fewer and far between now.”
#
The air was humid. The guard scrutinized the insignia the massif man in front of him had stuck under his nose. He was wearing a black hood and the orange tints of the sundown did not help him to detail the man’s features. With the same overzealous and reflective look, he read the official order explaining the presence of this man and the parameters that would be keyed in. It looked official, and assigned by one of the highest ranks. He nodded.
“Good luck.” He mumbled, walking away from the hermetic crate, spitting on the floor.
“Yes, that’s right.” Sfax answered.
He scratched his scalp. He couldn’t stand that hat on his head but he knew better than flashing his true position. He wished he could have sent someone else to do this but he could not trust anyone. He had to thank Erin for that.
Sfax walked around the giant metal box, stopping to the back panel. A brief thumb print on a strategic spot on the smooth surface opened the previously hidden consol. His agile fingers flew on the keys, entering the necessary information. A small slit opened just above the keypad. He opened his vest to take the slide out, looked at it one last time before inserting it in the empty spot. The target position appeared on the screen, primary objective acquired. The glass slide erupted. He grabbed it, putting it back in his pocket.
That was it. Now he only had to wait. Patience was not one of his virtues and he felt he had waited long enough. Ramil had taken more than two weeks to get the authorization to use the Shanack. Its use was usually restricted to System security breaches, but the veteran had called on an owed favor from one of the Foundators and had been able to usurp authorization papers.
He called for the guard.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming. Not even the time to lit one and…”
“Everything has been programmed. Just open the door.”
The guard’s eyes followed the man as he left silently in the growing darkness.
“Those high ranks, all assholes. They think their shits don’t stink. The only good thing is that my shift is ending early.”
He walked to the side of the metal case. The ladder had already appeared on the polished wall. He climbed to the roof, the metal hot under his touch, heat under his boots. He composed the code, applied his thumb. The automatic door slung on its hinges. An invisible icy hand fell on the back of his neck. He quickly climbed down, each step recessing at the release of his weight.
He glanced at the re-entry time before hurrying away. He did not want to take a chance to face the meat hunter. The mist swallowed him as he started hearing bumps against the metal. The Shanack was unleashed.
#
Axia had her back turned to him, leaning against the balustrade stopping her from falling in the lake. He still remembered the first night they had gotten there, more than two weeks ago. So much had changed since then, within her as well as within himself.
“It is almost time Axia. We are pretty much done here. We need to discuss what our plan of reinsertion will be. It will be safer if we split up.”
Axia did not respond, still staring straight ahead. Did she realize how hard it was for him to say those words to her?
“I will still help you like I promised, don’t worry.”
She turned to face him briefly, eyes angered, quickly walking to a chair, sitting heavily as to prove a point.
“Do you really think that is what I am worried about Erin?” She threw her hands in the air.
“Huh?” He was lost.
“I should have died in the arena” She said, shaking her head, looking down.
He walked to her, kneeling in front of her, wiping her first tear.
She stood abruptly, rejecting his hand. She was back against the railing, fingers clenched on the balustrade.
“That would have saved me this burden…”
“But Axia, everything will be alright, you’ll see. You will finally get to build a real life, that existence you have been fighting so hard to keep. What you have lived here was nothing compared to all the good that is out there.” He pointed at the glass bay. “You have so much more to discover besides this house and me.”
He had stood up also, now standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders, their eyes staring at the same undefined spot.
“I do not want this life, not anymore…”
Her words sounded tired.
“Why Axia? What is going on all of a sudden?”
“Because…because…”
“…”
“Because I do not want to live away from you.”
She had turned to face him, not daring to look at his face, scared of what she may find there. She let her head rest on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin trough the thin fabric of his shirt. She realized she had never been as close to his heart as in this moment. She could hear the regular thumps, strong and powerful. She could have listened forever.
The light pressure of her cheek on his chest was too much. He let himself go, forgetting his worries, releasing the restraints he had previously put on his feelings, only one thing mattered now, answering the call of his Juminex. He took her hands in his, intertwining their fingers. She leaned back under his touch, now searching his face, eyes supplicating, full of hope. Their eyes met, anchoring, intensity growing between them in a soundless dialogue.
“Axia…” he whispered, almost inaudibly.
The tenderness with which he had pronounced her name was a response of its own.
He released her hands, bringing his arm around her waist, his palm on the small of her back. Gently, he drew her closer to him. Instinctively, she brought her hands to his chest, taking in more of his carved body. He caressed her check, slowly, stroking the perfectly smooth skin. She closed her eyes, focusing on his touch, not wanting it to ever stop. His finger paused on her oval chin, slightly tilting it upward. He brushed his lips against hers, not wanting to startled her. Her mouth caught his, full of shameless eagerness. He responded to her, pressing his lips harder against hers, uniting their breath.
He tasted salt and pulled back, eyes closed, gently rubbing her nose with his.
“What’s wrong?” he murmured.
“Nothing, just another one of those happy cries.” She answered, rolling her eyes. They both laughed.
He held her head in his hands, thumbs along her jaw line, fingers brushed in her hair, kissing her deeper, all the more impatient for her taste.
She felt her heart’s response, blood pulsing in her ears, chemicals flowing through her, their intensity threatening to make her falter.
As if he had felt her body’s reaction, he swept her off her feet, now carrying her in his arms. She looped her arms around his neck, resting her head against his neck.
“Trust me” he said, almost questioningly as he started walking back inside.
“In a way, I always have” she whispered against his ear.
The walk to his bedroom seemed like it took ages. He deposited her on his bed, delicately, staying close to her, not wanting to break the magic between them. He kissed her again, then pulled back, grinning:
“I almost forgot, you don’t like beds.”
She grabbed his tunic, bringing him back to her, her laugh dying in their kiss.
Slowly, he discovered her skin, the curves of her body…softly, she lost her innocence, drowned in tenderness…their bodies united, their soul forming only one…their aura responding to a common call, sensuousness.
The night fell on their room as they laid sleeping walled in a harem of peace.
The door busted to pieces.
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Reviews
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Since I haven’t read all of the previous chapters, I’ll review on mechanics as you requested. You dialogue is very well written and is easy to follow.
There are a few errors that I would like to point out:
“That had taken him aback. He had not expected her to wonder about that but could understand in away why she was asking him.” Away in this particular sentence should actually be “a way” (two words).
“His features were smooth, less harsh that his father’s square chin. His hazelnut eyes were innocent, reassuring.” The word “that” after less harsh should be “than”.
Those were the only two blatant errors that I could find, and this is a very well written chapter. I think this has a very good chance of being published. Good Luck to you.
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hollowing of an owl..Hooting of a lonely owl
down to realize she was clenching down to the comforter ” Realize that she was holding the comforter close to her body..
“Erin could not prevent himself from looking at her.” Erin couldn’t help but look at her….
She had been surprised …She was surprised …
It busted out of…It was a spontaneous laugh..
What made her laugh?
She rose on her elbow, wiping her tears, self-conscious…Make a smoother transition from her laughing to crying…
Some people do not, some do. ..In what context is this? I didn’t see a reference to it.
You must be one of the most patient person…One of the most suggests mopre than one. most patient personsor people.
You can run but you cannot hide miss. Need a comma after hide…
“I have to say, muscles do not help with flexibiliy…Are you sure? Check this. Muscles have a lot to do with movement.
She was just too used to things coming easily to her in the past,..She never relly had her way i don’t think. She was a slave. I might take this out or clarify.
I think the love scene could have been stronger more kissing and a little more sexual. I know, i don’t mean porn just an exploration of the bodies would really hold the readers attention. i liked this excerpt and enjoy the love story unfoldng. Could you give more description of the surroundings and tell again what year it is. I want to see the houses and the layout of the land? Also, i want to know more about culture and the people who share this land with Axia and the rest.I will keep reading. Sandi
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