Romance / Chapter 4.
“I’m sorry.”
“Joanna, I can’t believe you didn’t hear him.” I said seating in the passenger seat.
“I’m sorry, like I already said,” she was turning the radio sta-tion and looking at her phone every several minutes. “Tell me what he said again.”
“He said, ‘At last. . .’”.
She smiled. “What’s that mean?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him in my life.”
“Are you sure?”
I thought hard. Maybe I saw him for a split second in a crowd and he felt some odd connection through an innocent stare. I do tend to stare. But not at people because even I get annoyed by others doing that, an example is Luke’s friend today . . . I was suddenly bothered.
“I have an idea for you,” she parked across my house avoid-ing the curb; she knew what memories were there. “When you see Luke’s friend—. . .”
“Tony,” I interrupted.
“Yeah, sure,” she shrugged. “When you see him ask him what he meant, by what he said.” she suggested sarcastically.
I grimaced. “It’s not that easy.”
“Fine, then.” She said. “It was simply a suggestion. I never said it was going to be a good one.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said grabbing my belongings. “Thanks for the ride.”
I walked to the mailbox . . . no mail. I walked along the crosswalk to my house. Where he stood there waiting. “Hi.”
I backed away and headed the opposite direction from him. By the time he caught up to me, I was at the park.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Me?” I questioned. “What are YOU doing? Why are YOU here?”
“Questions . . .” he said.
“I think I have all the right to ask whatever the hell I want.”
“You do. You honestly do.”
“Then what do you want?” I asked. I felt the tears forming. I felt the burn in my throat and my skin getting degrees hotter, within seconds. Everything was pulsing within me. I couldn’t focus on anything and the fact that I still deeply cared and loved him didn’t do any amount of help on my part. All my mending went down the drain. Once I saw him right in front of me, all my anger, frustration, confusion . . . hurt faded.
“Please, don’t cry . . .” he slowly walked towards me. He paused. I knew he wanted to touch me. I knew I was going to let him. In the past, when he held me I felt whole. Even right now, as he was holding me tight it felt like he was never gone. This feeling I couldn’t avoid. I couldn’t pretend as if my heart was over him and me. With just one, touch my life, my universe, my world snapped back into focus.
“I’m sorry,” he kissed my forehead. I was already crying. He pulled me away from his body and gently wiped my tears away.
~ ~ ~ ~
“So what are we, to you?” I wondered, sitting on the swing next to him.
“I’m not sure what to do.”
“Great.”
“It’s not that simply. I can’t seem to forgive myself.”
I was surprised by the way, he sounded. The sadness be-hind every single word he spoke. Every word lingered in the small distance between us. Every word, though, changed what I thought I wanted for him. I wanted closure. Now, I wasn’t sure what I wanted.
“Forgive yourself for what?”
“I hurt you. I broke your heart.”
“If I forgave you, you couldn’t forgive yourself?”
“I’m not sure . . .,” he said, looking into my eyes. Immediate-ly, looking away once I was looking back into his.
“Do whatever you want, then.” I whispered.
He bit his lip. “You don’t care anymore, do you?”
“Did I say that?”
“Basically . . .”
“I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t tell you whom to love or be with, so do whatever you want,” I got up from the swing and began walking the path that made its way to my house. He stayed there, sitting silently. It was then I decided to say what I always wanted to say. I might never have this opportunity, this private one on one talk. “I know what I want. I know what I only want. I want you, always have, and always will. But what do you want?” I felt the burn in my throat about to burst through. He slipped off the swing seat. As he was walking to me, the look in his eyes was haunting.
“You.” he said with my face in his warm hands.
“What about me?”
“I want you,” he paused. “I love you.”
I was scared. That’s the only emotion that was filling my body. I was afraid. He never opened up to me like this before. He was gentle and tender. I was amazed. It felt like a dream coming true. We never ended. We just had a bump in the road. At least, we are great now. We are stronger than ever, and we could only get stronger.
“I don’t want you to think by me forgiving you that you didn’t hurt me. You really truly did.” I was breathless. He was still hold-ing my face. I was finally in his arms, wanting him more than ever.
“Oh, babe I know I did. Please, don’t ever think that. Always and forever, that’s the promise we made to one another.”
“Always and forever . . .” I whispered.
He kissed my lips with the same passion as before. Nothing changed between us. The unbelievable heart and soul was still present. We weren’t divided or changed; nothing was lost. Our kiss was short, but real. His lips against mine were so powerful that I needed him to hold me up, tighter. My strength was stored back into him. In that moment, Always and Forever began all over again. . .
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said seating—you need a comma after “said”
“every several minutes” the wording to this is awkward. The accepted phrase is “every few minutes”. Or you could use “checking her watch periodically”
I do tend to stare. But not at people because even I get annoyed by others doing that,—Put in a period here, and start the next sentence “An example is…”
what he meant, by what he said—again, leave out the comma. I see you tend to use comma’s too often inappriately
“Hi.” move this to a line on its own
He pulled me away from his body— this is really wordy. ”He pushed me away from him” would sound better
You need to put “his” name in here for an exchange this long. Also, you need to use his name in the dialog once in a while to clarify it.
These two characters obviously have a very emotional connection to each other. You might want to pad this a little so it’s not just dialog, paint us a picture of this enoucnter. Could be interesting.
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