Humor/Satire / Letter to an editor
Dear, Lovely Merciful Editor
Several weeks of harsh climate and unbearable heat have passed as I sit waiting, desperately, hunched over a laptop in the palm of a sweltering desert, praying for word from my favorite editor: my only friend and a lone voice of sanity against the howling wolves or the hiss of some strange giant reptile roaming these desert wastelands.
I have been busy. I am now under the employment of the Texas State Mental Health and Retardation facility in Mexia, Texas. And as staff instead of a resident, if you can believe it! Also, my laptop was recently devoured by a pack of roaming Gila Monsters. (you know, those great slobbering beast with poisonous fangs and an insatiable hunger for manflesh.... No? well then praise the gods for making you into an editor instead of some insane hillbilly journalist wannabe who must live off the sparse fruits of the desert,consuming raw scorpions for sustenance while trekking aimlessly in search of some civilized publication...) But, anyway my laptop is officially a hunk of expensive garbage and I my shriveled ego is in desperate need of publication. I am currently sitting on top of two articles: one of them is a fine, dramatic little piece on the recent discovery of a 'fight club' in the Corpus Christi state school that was shut down after a cell phone video was uncovered with two state employees goading two of the Mentally Ill residents to physically combat each other in a brutal and heartless fashion for the reward of a pack of cigarettes.
The second article is a slightly more tame tale of a cock-fighting scenario in Groesbeck. (I also plan to infiltrate the annual Blind Lemon Jefferson blues festival in September and write a King-hell Monster of an article on that, if your interested.)
I've been getting by writing an occasional thing for The Uptake, witch is an online Citizen Journalism publication, but there just isn't anything like the rush of seeing my name in actual print. If you've got the space, I always appreciate your considerable charity on my behalf. Looking forward to your reaction,
-William Cook
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Very, very funny. Some minor spelling and other errors, but for the most part it looks very good. The only thing I’d suggest would be to tie in the fight club thing to your new job position. Maybe say how the two state employees were fired, but that offered up silver linings for upstanding journalists in need of a day job.
Overall, quite funny.
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