Poetry / Okay
Let us dance, like it’s a party,
The night’s about to fall,
Please finish what you started
All you keep repeating is “we’re not the same”
I’m walking away, tired of this game,
Here you come back, claiming to have changed,
You’re sick and you know it, just time to show it,
You treat me, as I’m nothing,
So tell me how you attempted to be a better person,
If not, then let me go, let us go,
I’ve fallen, thinking you’d catch me,
I slipped through your hands, was your excuse,
I’m walking away, tired of your abuse,
I’m confused, why did I ever love you. . .
A part from your lies,
All your mid-night crimes,
All my hopes and dreams, that died,
My heart is praying for you,
Because after all the things you decided,
Only God can save you. . .
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This is filled with hurt and resentment, which is why I don’t really want to say too much as it might be misconstrued. What I will say though is that it feels like you are fairly young and that it was a bit awkward for you to write.
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This is so close to my heart. I love the raw emotion you capture here. I can feel the anger, hurt, and bitterness of it. Relationships so often end like this, go through these times, and I think many can relate to this. Nothing pops out at me technical wise, although I look more to the choice of words and the emotion expressed in poems. My only suggestion would be that you might look into adding more descriptive words throughout that will add to it’s depth. Well done and I look forward to reading more :)
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