Young Adult / Blood rage Ch 1 book 2 (Analysis)
I sat on Ariello’s comfortable couch in a very dark room just watching the fish swim back and forth. I had done this many times before. The fish tank was beautiful and relaxing, but today was different. Today I was trying to forget what was about to happen. In just a couple hours I would begin my very painful change into being a full vampire. I wanted to cry I was so scared. Part of me was ready to get this over with. The part of me that was already dead and in so much pain, my heart. I had lost almost everyone in my life and while I had a terrible and wonderful at the same time, ability to be able to let people go in my life and not care there were still those certain few that cut right through that. One is Rebecca. No I had not lost her but I would be away from her for a bit. If I made it through the change, because there is still a chance I may not, she would be devastated and have no one. She had devoted her life to me and taking care of me that she had lost herself somewhere and therefore would be alone. The other person that mattered to me was Shannon. When he made me choose between him and Ryan I had to choose Ryan and he knew that. I wanted with every bit of my body and soul to be with him but it was not the right time. I promised myself that I would find a way to be with him only to find out that the fates have played this cruel trick on me and I was not to be with him. I suppose much like the cruel trick they have played on Ariello. I was his soul mate but sadly he was not mine. He was destined to love me and want nothing more than to be with me for his entire life, I am not sure how he is able to make it through. I was hoping that since I had met him while I was still at least part human I would be able to not feel the pain once I was turned.
I tried to focus on other thoughts, things that I had learned in the past few months. Staying focused right now would be a good thing. I wish I had someone here with me now. I really wish one person in particular were here, but he can’t be. This is something I will have to go through alone. Well Ariello will be there of course. He will be in charge of my change. I will be lying lifelessly on the bed while his blood becomes a part of the new me. He will be helping me in a way to be re-born. I just hope that the new me has enough humanity and sense to not become some nasty blood sucking monster. That is the part that scares me worse than the thought of dying. I could not bare to think I would be a monster taking other peoples lives.
I have a few days left before I actually have to go through the change but Ariello was eager to get the change started. He argued the fact that a few days really would make no difference and he was right. Wasn’t he?
The more I sat looking at the fish swim back and forth in their huge tank I knew I had to see him one last time before I may not be able to see him again. Quickly I got up and headed for the door before Ariello returned. He was out tending to some last minute school stuff. He would be busy the next few days so he needed to make sure his classes were tended to. He also had to get a new schedule for me seeing as how I would be a bit different. I was also assigned babysitters for lack of better words.
I had been assigned Alicia and Megan. They were to watch me and make sure I didn’t need anything and to help answer questions. Well I did find out that Rebecca was not told everything about vampires, nor was she told the complete truth about a lot. Ariello was still not willing to tell me everything. He told me it could wait until after the change so that I would be able to understand better because I would be able to feel deeper into my true emotions and knowledge. Right now is the best time to slip out, Megan and Alicia are in class Ariello is still busy so I grabbed the paper from his desk and the beautiful gold pen that had Ariello’s name engraved on it. It wrote so smoothly and beautifully that even my terrible handwriting was very dainty. A quick note to tell him I would be back in a couple hours I just had to tie up one end.
I reached my car in the parking lot, my pretty Saturn, the color is called black cherry but it looks black until the sun hits it just right and then it becomes a deep purple. It is a beautiful color.
Shannon’s house is only about a 25 minute ride from the school grounds, it’s funny how the saying is true. If you want to hide something, the best place is in plain site. While vampire are known to exist humans are still jumpy, if they knew that there was a vampire school among them so close they would go into hysterics and probably burn it down. But they all are silly enough to think it is a very picky college. Every year they get applications from humans not knowing any better and of course they get a very nice rejection letter shortly after.
On my ride over I am so nervous. What will I say? Is this a bad idea? The pit of my stomach is so heavy and twisting in knots. It seems like it has been forever since I have seen him and I can’t wait. The closer I get the more excited I get. I have to tell him I love him and that we will be together, I just need to find a way. This way if something happens during the change either, I die or I become a monster I will have seen him one last time and he will know how I feel.
As I pull to the side of the road at his driveway, I just sit in my car listening to the end of the song “When you say nothing at all” that had been our song and I was sure this was a sign. I was more at ease but somehow there was a feeling inside me I could not explain. It was like a hot knife was stabbing me in my chest. It wasn’t unbearable it was just a little painful but I hardly noticed it over the excitement I felt.
I walked down his driveway suddenly glad that all those trees were there because it was a particularly bright day today and I seem to be a bit more sensitive to light than I used to be. I had forgotten how far back his house sat in the trees. It was beautiful! It was a beautiful home that had a log cabin look but huge. It was a three story home with a pool house to the side and a huge backyard that was more like a forest than a back yard. It had tons of trails and a couple ponds. You could forget you were in a yard it was like your own private retreat. I stopped so quickly, I felt like I hit a wall. That smell, his smell. It was beautiful and sweat and it held me a prisoner for just a moment. I was finally released able to walk again. I walked around the back of the house toward where he was. I couldn’t see him but I could tell the way to him. I suppose this sense was getting better. I reached the bushes that led to the pond. I peeked over the top to see him sitting on the bench but there was that knife in my chest again. He was not alone. Sitting beside him so close that the air was having trouble flowing past was a woman who very obviously was a simply silly human. There was nothing special about her at all. She had greasy brown hair; I didn’t think she was pretty at all. And to top it off she was WAY too close to MY Shannon!
I wondered if I should walk over nicely and just make my presence known, but how could he not know I was there? I know that seers can’t see into vampires minds or see them in their visions but I am still part human.
Should I go tear her apart just to make it known that she is NOT welcome? She needs to back up away from him. What is going on?
For the first time I had a clear vision when I was not asleep. I saw Shannon standing in his back yard dressed so wonderfully. He was so handsome, he always was but today he had on a tux, there were a lot of people there then I heard the words that made me drop to my knees.
“Shannon, do you take Michelle to be your wife?”
With that I snapped back to the present. There was a rage inside of me that I had never felt. It was so strong it felt like something inside of me was tearing out my insides. I felt hot all over. I am sure if anyone was to touch me right now they would instantly burst into flames. I let a growl slip out that came from deep within me. It sounded almost like a tiger. I guess it was loud enough that Shannon heard it. He sprung up to his feet and turned to look in my direction. I was covered by the bushes but I swear he saw me. He stood still and looked right at me which calmed me a bit. The beautifulness of his eyes I could see that he still loved me. I was almost ready to calm down when Michelle stood up took his hand and put her hand on his face and kissed his cheek.
I growled loudly this time and sprang out of the bush toward her in a flash. My only intention was to kill her! Rip her from limb to limb. I wouldn’t even drink her blood I didn’t want any part of this horrible human to be with me or my Shannon. But I was going to make her hurt badly! Just as I was about to reach her which all happened so fast she didn’t even see me, I felt a strong breeze and then I felt nauseous and I went black.
As I opened my eyes to see where I was throwing up at I noticed I was somehow back at Ariello’s room and being handed a trash can. I barely got it under me when anything that was in my stomach came up. This was not pleasant at all, but what I was concerned about was
“WHAT THE HELL!?” I said out loud so loud that it echoed through the room. I swear the walls shook. I looked up to see Alicia’s worried face. I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that they know how to shift from place to place like Ariello.
“If Ariello knew we let you go and then if what almost happened or actually happened, he would have kicked us out or killed us.”
I swear she actually sounded worried. I wasn’t use to her sounding like this. Normally she was more snotty and confident. Well I suppose I had just almost killed some silly human because, and there it was again that feeling. The knife, the heat, the rush of insane madness. Suddenly I found myself being restrained by Alicia and Megan. I lifted my hands in front of me, palms out and could actually see a red glow around my hands. I felt this surge of only what I could think electricity felt like going through my body. They backed away from me so fast when they saw or maybe felt what was happening.
What was happening? My whole body was shaking and I felt like I was on fire. My hands looked like they were on fire. Visions of ripping the silly human apart were dancing through my head and looked so beautiful.
“Erin! You have to calm down!” Alicia’s voice was shaky.
Why was she scared? It’s not like I can hurt her. I turned to look right into her eyes but I felt like there was someone else moving me.
“Look, we know you’re mad and hurt, and scared. But trust me hurting her or him or one of us will do no good. You are going to end up killing yourself if you don’t stop.”
“I am not trying to hurt you or myself, I want her gone!” I know that I just said those words but the voice was not mine. It was much more deep and scary sounding.
“Erin, look at me. Focus on me for a minute. What you are doing right now is more dangerous than you know. You have to regain control.”
What does she mean? I am in control here.
She kept eye contact with me, out of the corner of my eye I could see Megan staring me down. She had that look on her face that looked like she was trying to read me. I suppose Megan and Alicia were talking their silent talk that I was not yet able to do. Megan would read me and tell Alicia what to do or not to do. This was all getting really annoying.
“Move out of my way!” Again it sounded like someone other than my own voice.
Alicia looked at Megan and nodded,
“What are you two talking about? Say it where I can hear you.” I could feel wind blowing, which was odd because we were inside a room. Papers started to rustle on the desk from the wind.
Alicia held her hand out toward me, almost to show me she wasn’t hiding anything. Her eyes still had a worried look, she moved slowly toward my area where I put my make up on, when I actually have time to wear it. She picked up a mirror and held it out to me and said,
“Look at yourself. This isn’t you. There is more you need to know. Ariello was going to wait but I think you need to know now. But Erin you MUST find it in yourself to calm down.”
I snatched the mirror from her with such force that it made the papers fly off the desk. I looked in the mirror but I did not see me. What I saw was a terrifying site. This woman that I saw resembled me but was not me. She had my long wavy red hair, but it was blowing around. This woman’s skin was pale like mine but all around her was a red glow. Her eyes did not look like mine at all. Her eyes were dark, her pupils were huge and jet black, where there should be the whites of her eyes, it looked like blood had filled her eyes instead.
This could not be me. But I was looking into a mirror. What is going on? I dropped the mirror with my hand to my side. I turned to Alicia with a questioning look and wanted to ask her what this was, but she already knew what I was going to say.
“Yes it is you Erin. It is not a trick. But it takes so much from you that it will drain you and it could kill you. It is even hard on a full vampire. You need to try to calm down now. Megan will go get you a drink because you will need it. Please try to sit down. Remember your self control exercises. You must try to use some of that now.”
Self control was one of my favorite classes because some of the exercises let me set scenes in my mind that let me be with Shannon again. He was my calming thought. The memory of him, his sweet beautiful smell, his soft gentle touch, his soft warm tender kiss, his inviting, loving, strong arms, oh how I wish I was in his arms right now. I could see him, almost feel him.
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She had devoted her life to me and taking care of me that she had lost herself somewhere and therefore would be alone. You might want to reword this sentence a bit. I growled loudly, try to make it sound more fearful. “If Ariello knew we let you go and then if what almost happened or actually happened, he would have kicked us out or killed us.” try to rephrase this sentence it’s a little confusing. I liked the story. I would try to change a few of you actions and tie it up a bit more. But overall I liked it.
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