thanks so much! glad you like it.
Novel Treatments / Untitled: Excerpt, Possibly Ch. 1 pt 2
When the bell rang for first period, I followed the rush of students out into the hall. “So what’s your first class?” Will asked. I grabbed my schedule from my pocket and scanned it.
“Ah, first period…World History with F. Fitzgerald.”
“Hey, I have that, too! C’mon, I’ll show you where his room is.”
Jeremy babbled on about who-knows-what as we walked to fist period. I couldn’t concentrate on a word he was saying, though, my mind was too preoccupied by images of Scarlett. I scanned all of the faces of the girls who passed me, hoping one would be hers but I wasn’t so lucky. When I reached the classroom, however, her brothers, Alexander and Abel sat on the far side of the room, both staring out of the window.
Will and I found two unoccupied chairs in the back of the room where we sat and waited for Mr. Fitzgerald to arrive. Everyone in the room seemed to know everyone else and they all greeted one another with hugs and chattered excitedly about their summers and the new school year. All but two, of course. The Winchester boys. They spoke to no one but each other, didn’t even look in the direction of the rest of the class.
I couldn’t help but watch them. Their lips moved and once in a while they chuckled, but I didn’t hear a sound come from either of them. When my hunter gene started to develop just the year before, my hearing was one of the first things to heighten. I heard every conversation in that classroom, in the next classroom, in the corner classroom two floors up. I could hear the owner of the deli behind the school talking politics with one of his customers but I couldn’t hear a word from either of the Winchesters that sat just feet away from me.
Again, I looked outside, hoped the clouds would shift and reveal the sun. It seemed stupid to assume such of thing about these boys, just because they were strange, maybe it was just the hunter in me, but I had to know. I had to know for sure that my suspicions were wrong.
“Okay, class, sorry I’m late,” Mr. Fitzgerald said, hurrying into the room and setting his briefcase down on his desk. “And please, don’t think my tardiness will ever excuse your tardiness. I’m sure most of you know, my name is Mr. Fitzgerald. For those who don’t, hello, nice to meet you.” He spoke fast, did ten other things at the same time. If I hadn’t already taken World History in my last school, Mr. Fitzgerald's speedy, unorganized teaching methods would have lost me. Luckily, I had taken World History already which meant I could focus my attention on the Winchesters.
My eyes frequently moved back and forth from them to the window, but it was all in vain. The sun wasn’t coming out. They spoke throughout the class, and even in the silence of the room, I couldn’t pick up a single word they said. Neither of them paid attention to Mr. Fitzgerald’s lecture. They didn’t even pretend to. What was with them?
“Hey,” Will whispered, nudging me when Mr. Fitzgerald had his back turned.
“What?”
“Keri Wilson is looking at you,” he said, grinning. “She’s no Scarlett Winchester but she isn’t too far from it.” He nodded to the other side of the room where Keri sat.
I turned to see Keri but caught the glares of Alex and Abel Winchester instead. There stares were so menacing, so overt, I couldn’t help but grow tense and defensive. “She’s the one in the red sweater,” Will said, obviously not catching the silent tension between the Winchester’s and I. I turned my head slowly toward Keri but kept my glare on the boys for a moment before finally looking away.
Keri was pretty, yes, but anywhere near as beautiful as Scarlett? No, way. She pushed her hair flirtatiously over her shoulder when she met my gaze and smiled. I forced a half smile in return to be polite before turning back to Will.
“Not too far from Scarlett Winchester?” I asked. “You must be blind, Will. She has miles to go before she’s even halfway to Scarlett Winchester.”
Will chuckled and shrugged and I brought my attention back to the Winchester boys. Alex was now looking out the window again, and Abel was looking straight ahead, a small grin on his lips. Neither of them looked back at me, nor one another, the entire period.
The next few periods seemed to fly by. So far, my senior year was proving to be an easy one. All of my classes were easy, my teachers were nice, the other students seemed eager to become friends with the new boy, and everywhere I turned, the appealing Keri seemed to be there, eyeing me lustfully. I should have been walking on cloud nine, but instead I thought of nothing but the Winchesters and beautiful Scarlett. What was the deal with her wacked-out brothers, and with all my luck, why hadn’t I ran into her again?
By sixth period, I’d given any hope of seeing her again. Apparently the school was bigger than I thought, either that or she was avoiding me and I couldn’t imagine that was the case. Upon my arrival to gym class, however, I discovered I had another class with her siblings, this time the sisters. Once again, they attracted my eyes like a magnets.
The girls were truly magnificent, even more so up close. Teagan could have graced the front cover of any high fashion magazine. She was tall, thin and elegant, more poised than any runway model I’d ever seen. Her features were narrow, her eyes catlike, her chin pointy, her nose like a small slope. Her full lips, colored a soft pink from her lip gloss, were plump and moist. As I imagined what it would feel like to kiss her, a pang of guilt pulsated through me. How could I imagine being intimate with Scarlett’s sister? I didn’t know the girl yet, but I’d get to know her well one day, and I was sure she wouldn’t appreciate me fantasizing about her sister.
Even still, I couldn’t help but envision myself with Lizette next. She was shorter and meatier than Teagan with the same dark hair, only while Teagan’s hair fell in thick, wavy layers down her back, Lizette’s spiral curls only reached an inch or so past her shoulders. Her face was round and her eyes were narrow. Her fleshy lips opened to reveal that her teeth were a bit crooked, in the most perfect way possible. Lizette had a much more welcoming aura to her than Teagan. She smiled often and despite the darkness in her eyes, there was happiness in them.
Like their brothers, they kept to themselves the entire class period. They sat all the way at the top of the bleachers and spoke amongst themselves while the gym teacher discussed class policies and assigned locker combinations. I wondered if they all had classes together. I always thought schools weren’t supposed to place family members in the same classes, but I had a feeling there were a lot of inconsistencies surrounding the family.
Of course, I heard none of what the girls whispered about through the period. When Coach Floyd, the gym teacher, announced we’d be spending the remainder of the class outside, I looked to the two girls for a reaction. I got nothing. Not a flinch, grimace, not even a nervous expression. They both followed the rest of the students out onto the football field, still engrossed in their conversation.
Clouds still blocked the sun, but I could see it wouldn’t last for long. The white fluff in the sky was beginning to thin out and I the bright rays of the sun peeked through. I kept my eyes on Teagan and Lizette, only looking away to check to sky. My heart started to beat a little faster, my stomach tightened with anticipation as the clouds slowly to shifted and the sun revealed itself.
Teagan and Lizette both looked toward the sky, sinking back as the sun grew brighter and brighter. They were going to run, scream, dive into the shade to cool their burning skin. I just knew they would. And then, they both reached into their purses and pulled out sunglasses.
That was it.
Eyes shielded, they went back to talking and did nothing else until the bell for seventh period lunch rang and they headed back into the building.
I felt like a jerk. A paranoid idiot. Did I really believe the Winchesters were vampires? Weirdos, maybe. But the walking dead? I couldn’t help but laugh at myself as I made my way to the cafeteria. The Winchesters. Vampires. Ha!
“Hey, Brevan!” I turned to see Will coming toward me. “You have seventh period lunch, too?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool, you can sit with us.”
“Us?”
“Yeah, me and the guys. We all play football together. Hey, you should think about trying out, you know. You’re a pretty solid guy. Can you run?” Could I run? Faster than him and all his jock friends, probably put together. A tackle from me could kill one of those flimsy boys that thought of themselves as ‘buff’. Of course I could control my speed and my strength, though. Joining the football team didn’t seem like a bad idea.
It would keep my busy, maybe get me out of hunting a few nights a week. I was sure a football work out was nothing compared to trekking through the woods in search on bloodsucking monsters. I knew I’d be good, maybe I’d get myself a scholarship. Then I’d really have an excuse to quit hunting. How would Riley be able to deny me college? It’s not like I’d be any older once I graduated. I had forever to hunt. Literally.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m pretty fast.”
“Well, we already had tryouts over the summer, but we can really use some more players. You should talk to Coach Floyd after school.
I nodded “Yeah, maybe I will.”
The table of jocks looked like a typical high school table of jocks. They were all surrounded by girls, laughing and joking, talking about the first game of the season. All of them were pretty cocky, bragging about their previous season highlights and what’d they do the upcoming season. Only one of them wasn’t talking. He simply sat silently at the end of the table, gaping at something across the room.
I half-listened as Will introduced me to everyone and instead followed the quiet one’s stare. Sitting by the window, the same spot they stood that morning, were the Winchsters. Scarlett Winchester. She was the only one at the table with a tray in front of her. Blocking the sound of every other voice in the room out, I listened for the sound of Scarlett’s voice. “…Gave them back today. I got an A-,” she said. Her voice was soft, sweet. Melodic.
Lizette’s lips moved but I heard nothing before Scarlett replied to whatever she said. “I know, you were right. I thought I was going to fail for sure, though.” She sighed. “I can’t wait until I graduate. I’m ready to be done with this whole experience.”
This time Abel said something, and again, I couldn’t make out what. “Maybe not for you,” Scarlett said to him. “I don’t understand how you guys can stand to repeat this over and over again.”
Repeat what over and over again? I wondered. High school? Impossible, none of them could have been older than eighteen. What did she mean? If only I could pick up what the others were saying. “Brevan, you listening?” Will said, nudging me.
“Huh?” I said, turning my attention to the guys at the table.
“Kev was saying he’s sure coach’ll let you on the team,” Will explained. I looked around the table, tried to remember which one ‘Kev’ was. “Paul Wilson broke his leg last week.”
“Paul Wilson?”
“My brother.” Keri Wilson plopped down next to me, that same lustful grin on her lips. “You guys didn’t waste anytime replacing him, huh?”
“Hey, we gotta do what we gotta do,” one of the boys said.
“You’re gonna play?” Keri asked.
I shrugged. “Maybe.”
“My brother’s the quarterback, you know. Those are tough shoes to fill.”
“I think I can handle it.”
She smiled. “I’m Keri, by the way.”
“Brevan,” I replied.
“Yeah, I know. You’re the talk of the town. I figured I’d come see what all the fuss is about.”
“Sorry to disappoint you.”
“Don’t worry. You didn’t.” I threw another polite smile her way and didn’t alright job keeping up the conversation, but my attention was really on Scarlett. I studied her every movement, from the way she tilted her head to the side when she laughed to the way she absentmindedly fingered her long strands of curly hair. I heard every word she spoke, although nothing she said seemed to make sense since I couldn’t hear what her siblings said. And I jealously balled my hands into tight fists when Abel moved a piece of hair off of her cheek and Scarlett seemed to melt beneath his touch.
What was it with them? The question nagged and nagged. I was good at figuring things out, figuring people out. My whole life revolved around knowing what people would do next and why, yet I couldn’t wrap my head around a single thing that involved the Winchesters.
It was only the first day, yes. I never spoke a word to any of them, yes again. But it didn’t take that much. I felt as if whatever it was, whatever I was missing was right there in front of me screaming, “Here I am!” and I just couldn’t see it. All I knew, knew for sure, was that I had to have Scarlett, that I would have Scarlett. She didn’t belong with the Winchesters, that much was clear, and whatever magnetic force—No, gravitational pull that drew me to her wasn’t going to let me stop until she was mine.
I was relieved when the bell concluding lunch rang. I’d have to leave Scarlett, but I’d also be getting away from Keri who seemed totally oblivious to the fact that I wasn’t interested in her. The girl was full of herself, really. I guess since the guys at school knew they didn’t have a snowball’s shot in hell with Scarlett, they jumped onto the next best thing: Keri. And the attention had clearly gone to her head.
“Well, anyway,” she said, summing our, or better yet, her conversation. “If you want, you can give me a call sometime. I could show you around town.”
“Actually,” I said, rising to my feet. “I pretty much saw everything there is to see in this town.” I shrugged. “It wasn’t much.”
Defeated, she dropped her eyes. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We should hang out anyway, though.”
“Mm hmm, yeah. I’ll definitely call you,” I said, and quickly turned away before we could exchange numbers. I spotted Will coming toward me, probably to drill me on Keri, and ducked around the corner, colliding with someone.
“Sorry!” I cried, catching the girl before she went crashing to the floor.
“No, that’s fine, I should’ve been paying attention.”
Her voice, I recognized it right away. “Scarlett,” I breathed.
She looked up at me, distracted for a moment, and then her eyes widened. Her expression, the anguish in her face, made me shrink back a little. Her eyebrows pulled together in disbelief, shock, confusion, her mouth fell open. She exhaled heavily, grabbing her chest as her breathing quickened. “It’s you,” she whispered.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
FrakKevin reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I really like this. I liked seeing it from Braven’s pov right after scarlletts. I don’t really have much negative to say. The whole repeating senior year over and over annoys me but I understand your reason for doing. It’s also cool that Braven has powers and you took advantage of it early.
- add/view comments (2)
dcyuelling reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Jeremy babbled – Ummm…whose Jeremy? Did I miss something?
I heard every…’ – Wow, I like that he could hear everything. That’s pretty neat. I’m assuming that hunters have special gifts. I hope I’m right cause that would be awesome.
I had forever to hunt. Literally. – Immortal? Okay this just got better. This is way better than Supernatural…the hunters are immortals. Cooolll.
“It’s you,” she whispered. - Great way to end the chapter or whatever part this is.
I’m addicted now. I love it. It’s outstanding. I have no suggestions except to remember to show us instead of tell us although you didn’t do bad here. You gave us a little bit about what he was feeling, but I still feel like there’s something missing. It’s good. Well done.
Showing 1 - 2 of 2
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Item Stats
GENERAL
2 Reviews 6 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: about 1 month ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 10 Times
Skipped: 0 Times