Poetry / Rain Dance

Apparently you have never watched and listened to a jay eating sun flower seeds when they are disturbed by a squirrel….lol

Oh well, at 19 I doubt you spend a lot of time on the deck bird watching or listening to the sound of a leaf falling….

I will save a seat for you my friend. Thanks for your time, your read and comments, truly. I am grateful.

I do so hate punctuation…
but you are probably right. A slight pause would be good there.

Not going to merge 1 & 2. Meant 1 to be a sort of preamble. In the “And there off” genre…lol

It is definite now. I like you.
Thanks again for a quality review.

Actually, what I meant to say was merge lines two and three- make it jucier, like lines four and five.  Pretty please?  You can always print it out and stomp on it if you don’t like the revision.  That’s what I do.

Bibelot

I am sorely tempted just because you asked so sweetly. Alas, though enamored, I am hardened to the wiles of women.

Note that each stanza is a different bird. The only reason 4 & 5 are paired is because it would have made a very long line. Same for 6 & 7.

I suspect you may have some latent engineering genes with your apparent preoccupation with appearance and punctuation. LOL. I do love the word juicier though. I think I will use it in my next love & lust poem.

Liking you more and more :>)

I did notice that each line contained a different type of avian.  However, I thought it would be permissible to merge said lines because you DID toss a squirrel into the mix.

I wrote the above comment very early this morning.  I think I may have been thirsty.  Frankly?  I can’t remember.

Oh!  Do beware love and lust!  A combustible combination:

Three on a Match (or: Punctuation Run Rampant)

Passion is not a deserter,
absconding when love storms abate.
She knows the heart will alert her
while patience is making her wait.

Common sense does not befriend her,
with logic she always makes strange,
and if it ever should bother
a conscience, it wouldn’t arrange

a match between love and passion
for their storms do constantly rage,
and it’s true- without compassion
the mind quivers when they engage.

Absolutely beautiful…
but doesn’t deter me in the slightest.

And I could write a novel on the “squirrels vs Jim”; so they are lucky I didn’t throw them into more than the mix.

And you my dear are a treasure.

Oh, good.  

Means I don’t get thrown into the chipper-shredder with the squirrels.

Yes. I intentionally change the rhythms in a poor attempt to imitate the skittering (hence the word) movement of the birds. Unfortunately, I seem to be the only one that thought of that. LOL Thanks for the kind words.

Yes, it did end abruptly. It is actually just something that came into my head while I was sitting on the deck. As I was watching their (the birds) activity I thought of my friend. Went in the house after that. LOL. Sent it to her so she knows.

Stream-of-consciousness poetry. This could be a new thing :)

Ah…but sadly, not original.
I think I like you Ms. Skye…;>)

Heh heh heh.

Thanks for your thoughts. Was sorry it made you feel anxious. Darn hummingbirds & squirrels will do that. LOL
Not all poems are meant to be epics. This was just some observations while I was sitting on my deck and they prompted a thought of someone I care about. It is all there was. No foreplay, just some sweets observations and a thought.

Thanks again for your words.

Thank you Ms. Lovelee (and you are…very)..sorry to confuse. Jays have a terribly unsweet call…a raspy whiskey voice kind of sound. They have a running battle with the squirrels over the sunflower seeds…lol.

I had to chuckle over your “violence” read. I meant skewer in a sensual way since this was thoughts I had about a lovely lady I know. Interesting how we all pull such different feelings from things.

Thanks again for your comments.
Jim