Poetry / Praying and Pooping
Praying and Pooping
I've never been too good
at pooping. And now, standing
in a medical lab in Tacoma, WA.,
I watch the toilet with a too-small
bucket in my hand, concerned.
Like when a friend wants you to pray
for them out loud and you hope you understand
their need enough to get it right,
because it's hard to pick up the pieces
of a missed prayer, even with grace.
Alone there's wiggle room,
trembling under the light of God's mercy,
He forgives, and there is some Comet
above my head, in case I leave a stain.
But here, in a lab for fifteen nights,
no open sky and choking white walls
that reek of naturalism, I tremble
under fluorescent lights sitting on top
of this bucket wondering if it's big enough.
Lord, I know you're big enough,
but here it's easy to forget. No
open windows around, letting my
questions fester in the air like my bucket
of little poops on the floor,
reminding me what I've been eating here,
how it comes back after being rotted.
Loneliness, an easy snack but wallowing
in it comes out bad, and if I take
in too much it won't fit in my bucket,
climbing over the sides looking for somewhere
else to steam, probably just back in me, until I have
to pray all night not to stink. Crying to You,
I shamefully wish you could be a dear friend
to hold me for an hour or two, but instead
you whisper a mystery in my ear, that word
I never remember but sounds like love,
and I remember why we ask for prayer,
we hope to hear You're voice pierce
our lingering stench of doubt.
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I’m okay with the religousness of the piece. I’m okay with the poop portion – but I’m having a hard time reconciling them to the same space. I understand that your subjects of God and poop don’t necessarily go together generally, and the language you would use in reference to one wouldn’t generally apply to the other. But the language seems a bit choppy – but not choppy enough to be a metaphor for the difference between these two things.
The first sentence seems awkward and I’d recommend replacing “too good” with “very good”. The punctuation is inconsistent.
I am assuming that you feel like God is part of our everday lives and therefore is the God that would care about the crap in our lives (both literal and figurative), too. It’s not a bad concept – just needs some cleaning up.
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