Horror / Night Horrors (Analysis)
What I'm about to write WILL sound like I'm losing my mind. I guarantee you I am completely lucid. Unfortunately I am someone that suffers from extremley horrifying vivid nightmares. But the most terrifying part is not the dream itself, it is what grips me after I wake up.
I have suffered from nightmares since I was a child. Most commonly the dreams consisted of someone or something chasing me. There have been few times in my adult years I have had the capability to tell myself in the dream, "Turn around and face it, fight it!" When I turn, I either see a man who is about to attack me, and I fight back, but it ends with him gripping me in some way to where I can no longer move and I wake up. Other times when I turn, it is an invisible force that I know is some kind of demonic spirit that literally tosses me around the room and I have to pray myself awake!
When I was a girl, upon waking from what felt like my own personal "Exorcist", I was so paralyzed with fear that I could not move. I would try to call out for my mother, but my mouth was shut with terror. I imagined things coming out from underneath my bed, snatching at my ankles only to drag me to my death. This went on for years, until one night, in my alert state, I saw a figure kneeling beside my bed. I shut my eyes and began to pray. When I opened my eyes, it was gone. From that moment forward, I would use my bible as a pillow and never slept without a light. Even now at the age of 31, I will NEVER go to sleep without a light...that's when I do sleep.
Over time, I began to just simply 'live with it'. I wouldn't dare see a shrink about it, I would imagine I would get a look of "You have lost your cotton pickin' mind!" and rather be given a prescription to help me relax, they would probably write me a one way ticket to the looney farm!!! The times I shared with a "close" friend from church, I definitely got the look and the subject was quickly changed. I guess the subject was too real and they wanted to continue living in their perfect christian world, a world that does not consist of "boogey men" or "evil spirits".
Well, I am writing to finally talk about it. To anyone that would listen, anyone that just might relate. I can't keep it bottled in anymore. I'm not losing my mind, but this is my therapy. Call it, a written plea to God to take it away...
It happened this morning. I woke up at 3:46, I was restless as usual. I had dreamt, but it was only an odd dream, nothing that made sense, I believe we all have had one of those. I got up, went to the bathroom, drank a glass of water and went back to bed. Let me mention here, that I've never started a dream over again after waking up and going back to sleep. I must have started dreaming almost immediately. In this dream, I was sitting in a living room, my cat was next to me and we were watching television. What I was seeing on television was exactly what my dream was from earlier! It was so real, I was saying aloud, "I just dreamed about this, this must be a sign!" All of a sudden my cat started to growl. Simultaneously we looked up the flight of stairs and I saw a man walking down the hallway, I man unknown to me. His back was to me at first as he was looking into one of the rooms. He was dressed in a back suit and carrying a briefcase. My cat lunged off the couch, ran up the stairs towards the man to attack him, and as the man turned to avoid him, I saw his face. His face.... The one side was of a normal man, only his skin gray, he was middle aged, strong jawline, mouth closed, but the other side of his face, was void. Where his eye should have been there was a gapping hole that was utter blackness and seemed to go on to eternity. It seemed as if life itself was being gripped by this bottomless pit, even the area around this 'eye' looked as is it was being sucked in. The skin was wrinkled beyond what aging can do, it was being stretched towards that great black abyss. Immediately I knew he was death. I got up and ran towards my mother's bedroom, I screamed, "He's coming! He's coming, Mommy!" I ran into her room, shut the door and as I'm locking it, I could hear his foot steps. And that's when I woke up.
But unfortunately it doesn't stop there. I am not saying I'm psychic by any means. I believe we are all born with a certain amount of discernment or other people will say, "Sixth Sense". On three occasions, I knew of a person's death before hearing of it..before it even happened... The first time I was a teenager. All of a sudden a thought came to my mind, "John's dead." A few days later, my dear friend came to me in tears telling me his best friend John died, he fell asleep at the wheel. The only shock I felt was that I already knew. Years later, I had a feeling that my friend's father passed away. He died shortly after by natural causes. The third was a few years ago, I will not give specifics as the people involved are very close to me. In short, I saw this person one morning and that same thought came to me, this time I was looking right at them when it came into my mind, "You are going to die." She was killed in a head on collosion shortly after. When I found out about the last one, naturally I freaked out! I began to think, can I foresee when someone is about to die...this is ludicrous, this is Stephen King shit and I don't want to have anything to do with it!
So naturally you can imagine after my dream from this morning, I wanted to make sure my mother was okay. At that point it was around 5am (again this morning). She picked up right away, asking, "Are you okay?" I said, "Are you okay????" I could hear that her voice was clear, not groggy as if she had been sleeping, I asked, "What are you doing up?" She went on to tell me about her days plans and then quickly asked why. All was fine until I started to tell her about my dream. When I reached to the point in my dream of my cat growling and looking up the stairs, something came over me. I got goose bumps and I felt a horrid chill. It's nearly eighty degrees in my apartment! At the moment I said, "Oh gosh I got goose bumps..." I felt a presense all around me, my muscles were clunched, I was immobile and I was not able to move my mouth! It was like someone holding my jaw tight and the only thing I could say was let out a terrifying cry! I began to shake uncontrollably and tears were streaming down my face. The more I tried to talk the more the undeniable force fastened it's grip. Finally I just thought to pray. In my mind, I started to pray and I felt like I could start to move again, I was able to move my mouth to utter, "Start praying!!!", but she couldn't understand me and then I just said, "Say Jesus' name!" At last I heard her say His name. At that point I was able to get up, all I could think of was that I wanted to get the hell out of that apartment. There was something in there and I had to flee from it. I even tried to get my cat, but I had been crying so hard that he was afriad to let me come to him. I pulled my pants on, grabbed my keys and giving my kitty a mournful look goodbye, I got the hell out of there. I couldn't even tell you how fast I was driving. I was on the phone the whole time with my mother and she was going to meet me. She was trying to settle me down, but after experiencing something that frightening, only time can begin to numb your senses.
I met her within minutes. Still stricken with fear, I managed to finally tell her about my dream... I calmed down, but was pretty shaken up. I went to work, but my stomach was wrenched with pain. Thankfully I was able to leave early and I went home. The apartment welcomed me, I opened the windows and the back door, letting sunshine come in, but I could not rest. My mom said she would be over in a few hours and I just rested in knowing I would see her. I tried to sleep, but sounds from outside and fear would not let peace come over my eyes. She's here now, sleeping in my bed, irritating me with her silly snoring and I'm wide awake, under an intense reading light. I'm looking at my stupid profile picture and wish to God that I could be smiling again.
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I like the way you write: clear and easy to read. Also, even though I’m no professional, I didn’t find any errors.
It feels very real, and is easy to picture. It reminds me of when I was young, and afraid of the dark, of all of the horrible things I would think. This sixth sense is also really creepy, but makes for an interesting story.
This was a fun read.
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