I’ve seen some properly formatted screenplays on Urbis but I’ve no idea how they managed it. Most ore not.
All 12 parts of my script are open for review, though. Should I put more in the recaps?
Screenplay / Once Upon part 9
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Wow this si going pretty well my friend, keep this up. Have you thought about sending your screne play/ scripts off at all ??
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“…anything. Dave puts the…” Start a new line with Dave to show the difference between dialogue and action.
I believe there’s a formatting rule that says no line of dialog may be longer than 35 characters – including spaces and punctuation. I don’t suppose formatting that really matters much on Urbis, but it would be good to practice.
“…what the public see!” sees rather than see
“TOM (in self pity)” The parenthetical notations for emotion or direction are usually placed on the line below the name of the speaker and one indent farther in than the dialogue, so:
TOM
(in self pity)
Dialog [ In this case, because Urbis murders screenplay formatting. ]
“DAVE (Heartless)” Same thing here.
“Now remember that most…” Comma after Now
Oh, how I wish Urbis would actually suggest the first part of something for me, so I’d actually know what’s going on! Otherwise, what you have here seems pretty strong. I’m not a master (or a novice, for that matter) at screenplays by any means, but I understand most of the basics.
I like your dialog. It runs very smoothly, as if the people are actually talking, which is really important.
Good job!
I’m not a good reviewer of screenplays, so take this with a grain of salt.
Very intense! I like it, but there are a few things I’d change: give more explanation of his university life, maybe have a flashback. I need more of a sense of why Tom loses his mind and joins a violent faction. Maybe, too, have a flashback of life at home with mom and dad. You ever seen Train Spotting? very intense about drug addicts. The difference is that you use terrorists.
Good ending. I would like to see how the final ending will turn out.
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