Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Chapter 1

"You laugh at me because I'm different, I laugh at you because you're all the same."- Jonathan Davis, KoЯn
The story of my life is plain simple for me, the mental or the killer, whatever you prefer. I was born and naturally I don't remember it. I've grown up and unnaturally don't remember it, because of those damn pills. And I'm gonna die. Probably today. Hopefully not. Or maybe yes. I can't decide myself.
In this moments I really think I could be mental. You know, people don't tell you straight that you're crazy. They use covers like that long, boring word which doesn't mean anything to most people who watch TV, typically this day. Words like Schizophrenia or bipolar or whatever else which are meant to think you're sick. But you're not. People are not mental or sick, they make sick decisions. Often, may I say.
Still, thinking such nonsense in this last moments, maybe?, of my life is pure craziness. Did you ever try not to think and just watch? Have you succeeded? Naturally, you have not. The brain is like some processor, close to the PC ones. They process pictures and so by translating them into words. That way, you can't just see. You think without wanting to do it.
Still, what could I think of? In other books, I read that your life plays on fast-forward before your eyes. I try to do it. It's a bad idea.
A well-known author was quoted as saying that 'The average person has 60,000 thoughts per day and of these more than 80% are negative'. That means you think like a thought per 2 seconds. And those are things you actually think, not words or letters. I may be wrong, though. My math could suck, though, but remember that these are, maybe?, my last thoughts.
We absorb too many information. It hurts. You PC goes in overdrive and it fails. It hurts so damn hard! You brain fails. You are human and you fail. I think I'm just failing. Or maybe I failed long ago and didn't realize it.
I just blinked my tears away, the ones I didn't realize I had anymore. Did you know that you blink 16 times per minute? I think I just blinked 32 times in 20 seconds. Just how much do you guess you would blink in 24 hours? Yep, it's a big number. Just so that you know, it's 23040 blinks. And that's for the average person, the one that's brainwashed by the TV and all.
As you may have guessed by now, I'm interested in this sort of facts and they are my life which flows before my eyes. In fast-forward. And it hurts so bad.
“To make yourself something less than you can be – that too is a form of suicide”- Benjamin Lichtenberg
That means I'm already dead.
I blink again.
“You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.”- Chuck Palahniuk
I made my choice.
And this started so simple...

The bathrooms have cams. The rooms have cams. And Elias was driving me nuts! Can't he shut up one second?!
"I'm going damn mental here. Damn you, Kaleb. Did you take your drugs today, moron? Or are you just deft from age?" Yep, that's Elias talking, or rather screaming in my damn head. Now I'm swearing! Great! After this many years, his presence worn off me. In a bad way.
"I'm gonna sing the lama song again if you don't start talking. And I'm gonna sing it all the time, even while you sleep, or rather not." This one ended with one big, funny malefic laugh. OK, so he was kidding. Or not. That's wrong with Elias, I realize as I see one strand of my brownish or blackish hair before my eyes, you can't be sure that he means something. And, believe me, having such a friend that's basically everywhere, is hard. The only thing he ever meant was that I had to end a life. You couldn't not believe him. It was crystal that he spoke the truth and wanted to help me. And that brought me here. Great advice, he gave. And from what I do remember of that gruesome night, he did it. He took control, not I. So I just gave him the acknowledgment.
I hate that they don't give you here proper rubbers and my long, just-a-bit curly hair hates it too. But they say those are dangerous to us. I find it really interesting how some tiny rubber can harm us.
"Uh! Why can't I read your thoughts?! It would make everything so damn easier!" True enough to make me wonder exactly what he asked yet again. Why. There were so many whys. I'm going mental.
Again, I rush through the corridors. Elias wanted to tell me something about some new person who ended up here, something I didn't listen to.
"Blink twice if you can hear me. It's really important!"
I blinked. Twice. Please let him shut up now.
"Thank god! OK, I know the human which is new here. I don't remember from where. It has something to do with your parents, more specifically with your father." Silence. It took me a moment to realize what he said. Then it hit me.
It started so simple...
"Why the fuck are you mentioning that monster again, you damn prick? I gave you hints all morning to shut the hell up! I practically yelled thoughts at you! And you end up mentioning HIM?! What's wrong with you, Elias? Do you really wanna drive me mental, so you can take control, or what?"
Then I saw one of the sisters of hell.
I screwed it. Again. And this time it was massive.

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