Lyrics / Le'ts Face it (formally, Challenges (Analysis)

It has a sing song rhythm to it, but some parts need smoothing.  This one for instance, “Let no one even you sink.”  The word “even” throws it off a bit, like it’s missing a word.  Better, “let no one sink.”  Also, you second verse changes the rhyme steam.  It is better if you are consistent.

I like the sentiment of the poem.  

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November 19, 2009

by Kidatheartwriter

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36	M	Menominee, MI	November 22

I’ll change that, thanks.  Maybe do w/o the 2nd verse?

November 20, 2009

by Spriglief

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52	M	Delco, NC	November 23

It you want, but I liked this line:

Changing gears and facing fears

I think you just need to edit with your ear and smooth it out.

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It;s really cool how it applies to me and one of my friends nicely, He has a kind of shell and I want to crack it, and I’ll need the courage to get the hammer, or the patience to sit on the egg. Not that I’ll sit on him.

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November 06, 2009

by Kidatheartwriter

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36	M	Menominee, MI	November 22

I wrote this because I feel that people have challenges in their life.  Some work on them and succeed; some don’t.  This is encouraging people to work on challenges.

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hi there,
i like it..and the play with words throughout..traps..and craps..(roll the dice of life) and a good rhyme also..as well as irony and tyranny,,and i think alot of people can relate to this which also makes it good..it’s short and sweet which makes it radio friendly as well…(like a song should be..not 7 mintues long)...well done..keep on writing..would like to read some more…lata..jim

The wording and rhyme is set well, and the meter keeps up to itself, not changing. It gives a sense of mystery because there are so many different challenges that someone can face. I think that you are an excellent writer and I would change anything in this work. Just watch for misspellings and that kinda thing. Overall, it is a great piece and I’m glad that I got the chance to read and review it. It can apply to everyone on a daily basis. Keep up the great work.
Flamebringer15

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October 14, 2009

by Kidatheartwriter

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36	M	Menominee, MI	November 22

You said you wouldn’t change a thing? Or were you meaning I should change something? Please expand if you can.

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second to last line--now’s teh time-—the

I like it. It would be interesting to hear what music goes with this. What do you hear when you think of these lyrics. But on the whole it can easily stand on it’s own as a sort of poetry. It speaks, has it’s own voice so you’ve done your job.

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October 12, 2009

by Kidatheartwriter

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36	M	Menominee, MI	November 22

Thank you.  Yeah, I didn’t see that typo there. I was in a hurry to type it because I only had a few minutes to do it. If you would have written these lyrics, what would you have done to make it sound, well, hip? I’m still trying fo find some words for the chorus; a song needs a chorus otherwise it is just a poem.

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