Poetry / Eyesdepth

I can't stop thinking about

The depth of your eyes

Like the deepest ocean of chocolate

The sparkle I see

When you turn to the light

The amazement in mine

When I look in your eyes.

                                                                                         

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jalubcarrey avatar General Stranger

November 07, 2009

jalubcarrey Prolific-icon-medium

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
jalubcarrey reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Yeah, it is a little short.  You know, I see this as being even simpler, as a haiku, if you want.  But then I can see it going the other way as well.  You could spark it up even more by using a thesaurus, but sometimes that leads to it sounding pretentious.  It’s all up to you. :)

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Trumparrot avatar

Trumparrot

Age: 13
Loc: Greenville, WI
Gen: F
Last Login: November 20
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